Friends. School. Experiences.

Sometimes I wonder why some friends never ask me why I left the life I had in my former school. It kinda results to a conclusion that maybe they are not really the people who give you a damn, that every moments that you've shared was a hoax, that our friendship was a thing of the past.

I don't really believe if their excuse was that they don't know that I left the school premises, because obviously, the school hallways have a big set of ears- news spread quickly than you'd ever imagined. I also thought that maybe it's not really goodbye.

Well... for me, it isn't goodbye. It never was. In addition to not asking me how I've been doing, the same thing goes to me. I mean, I don't treat my exit from GCIC as a means of goodbye, it's just that I had to move on for my education's sake (You're paying a large sum of money to learn nothing), & I really do suck at goodbyes- I'm not really the type of person who tells about his life nor tries to explain what he's been up to lately.

As my bestfriend told me "Finishing college in a different school is the most important for your education. Friends are just bonus." I did this because I needed & wanted to. It wasn't really the end between me & the friends that I have met from GCIC, it's not really about how I quit GCIC. It's about finishing college together with the friends I've met since the beginning I stepped into college. A different school doesn't change the fact that I have to continue my life with the new & old friends that I have.

At least I got this new environment that I seriously needed to take my pace to my goal again. I doubt that the current is pretty strong but as long as I remember how to swim, I would actually obtain my goal.

I was laughing awhile ago when I'm browsing the early posts that I've blogged when I was in my emotional phase. I know that college life is just the beginning from a life you'll eventually enter but my blog says it's the end for me. I remember how I felt depression over & over again & abled to withstand it. I remember how much happiness I've earned when I fell in love. I remember how much pretending I had to do so I could blogged about my perfect life. I now think about how I've matured over the last two years.

The younger me actually said the words "I want to die" & "my life is not valuable". I guess it's the insomnia talking. The younger me actually felt pain from everything. I guess it's the hormones talking. The younger me actually fell in love. I guess it's the heart talking. Now I guess I'm pretty strong enough now to be my own wall, obtaining my goal while still enduring the pain I'm receiving.

Whether I'm in different locations, different school or in a different life. My goals are the same, my heart is still the heart of a champion, my passion is still burning, & the commitment is still blooming. At first I've given a damn about everyone, now I'm thinking about myself too. God bless & take care. :)
 

Shaping in & shipping out, Allan