Episode 4-30-08 : MicroAllanogy

Talking to myself: "I wish I could have done something to stop them doing it. I mean, is it right for me to just pass right through them without even trying to stop them from taking drugs? If I say I'm not one of the people who doesn't do anything to make this country better, then I'm wrong..."

You might be wondering what it was. You might be wondering how my day went. You might be wondering if there were sudden dramas that needed to be fixed. You might be wondering if what I put there happened at school... Well, let's just go back from the time I opened my eyes in the last day of April 2008.

6:09am onwards

Damn! I'm gonna be so late at school. There are two long tests in Nutrition & Microbiology today & I was so not prepared for it. I'm such a procrastinator. Last night, I didn't even do anything & I slept at almost 3 in the morning downloading youtube videos. Gosh! I'm so not ready for school... I'm such a numbskull. Thank God there's still an fx in the terminal. I'm gonna fail this time.

8:00am onwards

I'm just in time for school & now I'm able to breathe because the long test was postponed. All I need now is to have my minutes of complete silence to study Microbiology Chapters 10-13! Kill me now...

Last night, I told you about how I should be changing for the better, but again, I turned worst today... let's just say it's just so unethical to laugh so hard when someone's reporting infront... I don't really mean it, I can't stop laughing because of my seatmate & friend Ian, but we never laughed at the one who's reporting, that's so bad, but then again, it's really rude to be laughing when everyone else is listening. I'm such a bad student... :(

3:30pm onwards

I'm so not ready for the long test. It's really hard to suck 100 pages of chapters 10-13 when you're cramming everything. All I need now is a miracle to pass.

Thank goodness our teacher wasn't around today. We had the long test, but it was an essay-type of test & we could open our notes & books. Yes!

From 6:30pm onwards

Just imagine a twenty foot anaconda infront of me to get to the fx going to Pasig. I guess I'm gonna walk from Market to Rotonda... Damn it!

I saw some kids on the side of the bridge & noticed that they're holding a rugby. Oh my heck... I got really scared that I just ignored them. It's kinda sad in my part because I didn't even do anything to stop them. I'm a failure. :_(

Talking to myself: "I wish I could have done something to stop them from doing it. I mean, is it right just to pass right through them without even thinking about stopping them from taking drugs? If I say I'm not one of the people who doesn't do anything to make this country better, then I'm wrong..."

Signing off, Antagonistic Allan :_(

What goes around comes back around...

Karma was beside me awhile ago, maybe because I deserved to be in another wheel of disaster & embarassment to finally hear what God is tyring to tell me. I'm becoming the bad guy in my own show.

I think it's about time to let you guys know that I'm obviously not the same Allan we all used to know. It's appalling because I'm used to be called a saint with my old fashioned generic love, but now, I'm one of the people who just insensitively say what's on their mind, regardless of what the consequences I could have, & that's sad; being an innocent guy who turned out as a senile black-hearted man.

I'm not really that worst, but I'm just affected to what they said about me awhile ago, even though we're just laughing our heads off in some crazy topic. I'm usually the one who's just laughing when people are teasing each other, but now, I'm the one who just can't shut my mouth. I don't say bad words, but let's just say that my 'id' is greater than my ego for a moment there.

I'm not blaming any people either for changing into a monster, sure they're the ones who influenced me in the first place, but it's so immature to be an attitude-sponge to fit right in... & yeah, I don't need to fit in anyway with my pseudo-attitude right now. Actually, it's a reason to have enemies too.

If in case you're wondering what might be the cause of this realization... well, I lost a wallet again. Yeah, I know... AGAIN!

I'll try to be the ol' Allan again. Anyways, I got to study hard for two long tests today, so I'm expecting an all-nighter? Sob... A dose of Hale & David A songs will be the best for the entire night.

Special thanks to Icey, Cathy, Karren, Mafe & Anj :D

Signing off, David Archuleyva & Champ Luiyva Pio :D

From 8am to 8pm

Talk about an exhausting day. I haven't had any sleep all throughout the day because I pulled an all-nighter to finish our group presentation in Nutrition. That's why I'm so happy to be here sitting & blogging.

I'm so addicted to David Archuleta's songs today... I'm so in love with his voice! I simply love that guy! Praises for D.A. :D

Anyways, I haven't got anything to say today. I just wanna sleep & prepare for tomorrow. God bless & good evening everyone. I'm dozing off actually.

Special thanks to Icey, Cathy, Karren, Mafe, & Anj. :D

Signing off, Allan Archuleta :D

Dream Fan

We all had dreams that never failed to make those brain cells work inside these little ol' head of ours. Dreams that brightened our day or turned on that mood swings. Dreams that will let you define whether something is real or not, & even if it is fantasy, you still wanted to believe it's there or happening...

I have always been a fan of dreaming. It's the most exciting part of sleeping, or should I say, the main event or the loop in a roller coaster ride. But sometimes, when you're in the middle of that loop ride, it's kind of giving you a strange mark that will stay with you until you open your eyes for a new day.

It's so weird even for me, but the thing is, it's actually kind of devastating to dream something or someone that you really love, & when you wake up without them, you just keep pretending that they're with you until you realized that you only hurt yourself in the process, making you nocturnal & nostalgic.

Whether dreaming at night or day, it surprisingly calms our spirits when every walls are breaking down infront of you, where you start to find enough pretend stories & soak it in you, to be happy at first, but opposite in the end.

You can't even tell these things to anyone, because falling in love with someone because of your dreams is a story that likely have to be kept for yourself, & it's so frustrating when you can't share this to anyone. That can result to emotional breakdowns.

But setting aside pessimism for awhile, it's great to think that these people, or things for others, have enough pseudo-time to be with you when you need rest. There will be no double meaning to what I'm gonna say, but dreams are so good in bed. :)

I guess someday you'll outgrow these pretend life that you have when you mature. Maybe because the things you dreamed before will be the ones you'll get in the future. That's such a nice thought to be kept in our heads.

That is why I wrote Dreams, one of my best songs I have ever written all  throughout my life.

Have a wonderful Sunday evening & God bless to everybody. To those who were asking me the link to my songs in imeem, here it is: http://www.imeem.com/myuniquestyle

Special thanks to Icey, Cathy, Karren, Mafe & Anj. Promoting Anj's, Mafe's & Marrise's blogs. Just look for them in my friend's list. Hope you visit them.

Never Had I...

It's been a 'long & winding road' for everyone of us, but it's freaking good that we finished another week of summer school with or without those emotional breakdowns that appear from time to time.

Though life now is way different from before, I guess happiness & serenity always stayed within me. Even though frustrations & sudden drama affect these emotional platelets, well let's just say there were emotional white blood cells too.

Never Had I

There's actually a tune that I keep on humming for a week now, & I supposed I thought of this title for a song simply because this is what I am now. What I mean is I've been writing many songs that weren't that very emotional... of course I have written songs that made me cry, but today, I wanna feel that certain kind of sadness everyone gets when they hear that song where everyone starts to cry. Well... I don't know but it's just me...

Anyways, I got a lot of stuff to do right now. To all those people who always stay in tune for more things that'll come out from this little head of mine, I hope you've been enjoying what you always find out here, because I am too.

Good evening & God bless us all.

Special thanks to Icey, Cathy, Karren, Mafe, & Anj. :D

Signing off, Never Had I - Duet with David Archuleta :D

April Rules!

Many things have already happened in just a month, & it's been a roller coaster ride I surely wouldn't forget, even if reincarnation is true... maybe not... but you get my point anyway, right?

Kinda think about it, it's just last week when summer school had started but I feel like I've been already studying for a month! Seriously! My classmates also felt it. I think it's because we haven't got the summer vacation that we wanted after our normal semester, or just the exhausting schedule that we should follow day after day after day.

Now we're still in the middle of the road that we have to finish for a long, long time. It's going to be a hard journey for all of us, but I know we could make it.

Got to say goodbye for now, I still have many things to do. 'till here. God bless & have a good evening. :)

Special thanks to Icey, Cathy, Karren, Mafe & Anj (Miss yah) :D

Signing off, April Fooled

Faith & Fate Album Tour

Comments & Suggestions:

dhau_slap-     Oh yeah! I'm going to his concert! Woohoo! I'm so excited! I have always loved his songs because their so original, especially BELIEVE!!! I listen to it 100 times everyday! I'm such a big fan of this guy. I'm going to his concert! I'm going to his concert! :D

Girl_09_R-     Oh my gosh! I'm so going to his concert. Definitely! I wanna hear believe & never gonna make it today. I wish David A, Michael Johns & David C are all there to perform the song. I love Allan Aldrinne R. Leyva!!!

wlk_isn-         We love you Allan & we will support you 'till the very end!!! I'm so psyched just thinking about it. ...for a happy endiiinnnggg!!!! lol. I love how he sings Make It Real, he's such a good rapper! I wish he could sing his new songs from his second album

xoxoHanes-     His full name is Allan Aldrinne R. Leyva? What's R? I wish I could go to his concert, but I had summer classes that day. Damn it! I want to hear Make It Real!

Allan_Addict-  R is for Rodesma. Please God let Allan go down the stage, pull me & hug me. I think his new album will be Strive & Drive? Kinda weird?

oh_wish_ho-   Rodesma is his middle name. Allan Leyva, let me be with you!!! Grrr... I love how he sings Dreams, it's just so sad in the ending part. I'll watch his concert! :D

david_allan-    Yes! Finally! His concert near our house! =)

music_lover-   To allan_addict, his second album is entitled Strive & Thrive, not drive. In his last interview, he said he'll be having sixteen songs again for his 2nd album. I think there will be lots surprises in store with his next album. He said his new single is Change! I'm so excited. =)

ildamalsct-     Wow! He's been doing a lot of jobs lately. Recording his second album, shooting for another video for his new single, his show Trigger, his movie TnT Part 2 & another major concert? Allan's so great! He's a singer, a composer, an actor, a painter, & a nurse! So cute! hehe

grafits-           I remember when he said he was so great at being a nurse, but so bad when it comes to acting & singing! Obviously, he's one of the major international popstars now. Allan!!! Faith & Fate Concert! Woohoo!

What Life has to offer...

There will come a time when everything will be better, when you could be who you really want to be. A time when courage is finally strengthened, & fears are just a thing of the past. A time when people will look up on you & will tell you how much you have changed for the better. A time when faith met fate, & strive met thrive. If you open your eyes, you're already there, happy & contented, to a place where you really wanted to be.

That's the best thing about life. You know that there will always be happy endings to where you are heading to. Of course you must suffer every consequences & every pain it has to give you first, but in the end, it will be so worth it. Life will always be the antagonist of your story, but it'll be one of the things that will make you happy in the future. That is why I'm letting myself to be susceptible now, to everything everyone has, to let me fall down & let me feel lost & all alone, because I'll be learning & I'll be standing up again, amidst those who attempted to destroy me.

I'll take myself to the lowest part of my life, not only so I could experience it, but to hurt myself in the process so I could be wiser. In any battlefield, I'll be collecting these emotional scars. I won't let myself be numb, for I want to be hurt. In the end, I could prove to myself... I have lived a life.

All will wither & good things will bloom. All will break & good things will soon be repaired. All will go down & good things will fly.

Special thanks to Icey, Cathy, Karren, Mafe, & Anj. :)

Signing off, Allan

Worn out at Wednesday

Good evening everyone! What a day I had today. Obviously, it's gonna be about school-school-school again, but what can I do? I'm there at 8 in the morning upto 6 in the evening, is there anything I could talk about besides... Microbiology?

Anyways, I'm just happy to the way things have turned out. I mean, it's not really what I've expected but it sure made me happy. Although there are a couple of bad moments happened in today's episode of my life, at least there were many more reasons that made me smile today.

It's gonna be a great day tomorrow, I can tell. Awhile ago, I remember to 'remember' how the day was kinda going for me because it's been awhile since I've been an objective kind of guy, & you know what, I'm really just happy with some of my friends/classmates around; Jeah who always shows that she cares even though she acts like she's not; Achi Aileen who never failed to make me feel I have my older sibling with me; Icey who's always there to make me feel high-spirited in finishing everything; Ian who, day by day, makes me laugh; Ronnie whom I've always tease with someone (Yihee!); Reggie who makes everything so funny; Dalal who's always there to... laugh (lol); Sheila who is... very quiet; Mafe whom I'm linking with... my lips are sealed lol, & some of my new friends there in N-313.

So much for that, I'll be studying for a quiz tomorrow. So let's see what's in store for me in the next episodes to come.

God bless & good evening to all of you.

Special thanks to Icey, Cathy, Karren, Made, & Anj. :)

Signing off, Worn out & expecting for more... :D

Tiring Tuesday

I'm in a good mood to post something today, though I'm so fed up with homeworks & scheduled tests that are piling up in my head. Even though it's obviously exhausting to rush everything, I still have a reason to stand up & be ready to face another day. I'm just happy being underneath these tidal waves I'm encountering, maybe because I'm already used to this kind of dilemmas that keep coming back with more weight to make me fall.

I've been appreciating life today, though I guess I'm just really happy because I'm here at my home, relaxed & comfortable. The thing is, I've never been this happy... Yeah, I'm just smiling because the day is finally over, but I didn't say I never liked it, I guess I'm just too focus at studying that I haven't realized my feelings about summer school.

I'm usually the person who talks too much, or in this case, writes so much about everything fully detailed, but now, I just don't have anything to say but this Tiring Tuesday post.

Good evening everyone & God bless.

Special thanks to Icey, Cathy, Karren, Mafe, & Anj. :)

Signing off, The Long & Winding Road :)

Ready to Fall...

The title says it all. It's been awhile since I last felt it, & now it's coming back. I had thoughts about this, but now I'm very sure that this is it. This is the moment that my heart is telling me to do it. I am ready to fall... literally.

I guess when you're tired as heck, you just have to set aside those love & friendship dilemmas for a moment. At first, I always say that summer school is hard but fun. Now, it's the other way around, making it seem more negative than what I thought it was.

I'm so sleepy, tired, & hungry, but I'm just so occupied with a lot of school works that sometimes I just forgot to take care of myself. The bad thing is that I'm starting to get worried that I might not show my concern & love to the people I know because I can't even take control of myself in the first place, thus, giving me the space that I need to have, but I don't want to have, at least not right now.

Solutions like editing your pictures & stuff like than make me feel serene just for awhile. It's a good thing for me to show my creativity that I started to love back when I was a child, & it gives me the rest that I needed to continue working hard... I mean studying hard. You see! I can't even distinguish studying from working anymore. It's as if I'm doing both, with no salary. sob

I have always believed that I can do this because I've been in this troublesome world for eighteen years & I'm not giving up, but I just want to be locked in my room all alone, AC in full blast, sleeping & waking up to watch t.v. while eating pizza. Even just for one day I wanna be that couch-potato slob, I'd kill anyone to have that piece of day.

Many, however, are counting on me. I suppose I could say I'm also counting on myself, so I'm not giving up all because I cannot sleep or that I feel like a mess today, no! I'm not giving up with these burdens that can ruin me because I'm not a mediocre when it comes to handling superficial & all-what-you-can-think-of pain. I am my Alaxan, I am my Neozep, I am my Pizza Hut. The only thing that can stop me now is... nothing. This thing that I am experiencing now is nothing but a test to prove that I can push myself into my limit. I'm getting stronger, so I can handle tough jobs like this. YEAH!!!

It's weird that I can become an optimistic guy from being a negative person by just updating my blog. I guess it's also one of the things that I need to do to pump those muscle & start burning fuel again. I am my own Friendster! :D

Special thanks to Icey, Karren, Cathy, Mafe, & Anj. :)

P.S. But I do really need that day with just me & my pizza tee-hee-hee :D

Signing off, Ready to Fall... & rise

I need shortcuts!!!

I always have this thing in my mind... but I just set it aside. But now, I'm letting myself drown into this thought... because I need something to clear my head, to let me sleep, & to let me breathe real air. In life right now, I think I need some shortcuts & fast forwards!

I know it's not right because I'll never learn anything with rushing through everything, but would you rather be happy in the end than suffering now? I know it's true that you should work hard on something so that you could be twice happier when you finished it cause you know you worked hard for it, but sheesh! Does it really gonna suck your soul in working hard?

What's the use of complaining anyway, right? It's not like it's going to rain this morning so they could cancel class, right?... Wait a minute... (Lord, please help us make the sun go away for a moment) :)

I know it's very fun to study summer classes, but at  the end of the day, you'd be so tired that you wished you'd rather spend the vacation on the beach, or in any nurses' case... in bed.

Another day to be tortured... the worst part is, I think it's fun... sob.

God bless to everyone & an early good morning to all of you.

Special thanks to Icey, Karren, Cathy, Mafe, & Anj. :)

Signing off, Shortcutter :)

Still Surviving...

Let me tell you 'bout the week that I had in school...

Monday- Excited! Even though it's hard to believe that the schedule is so unrealistically prepared, I'm still opt for taking summer classes to be considered as my 3rd semester to be able to enter 3rd year in June. Of course, there were big amends that made us sad, like having no N-211 classmates around except for (at least this made us happy) my community service program group composed of yours truly, Jeah, Achi Aileen, Icey, Ian, Ronnie, Reggie, Shiela & Dalal. It's really great having the same troops around since I'm always nervous standing infront of people without anyone I know. I'm lucky enough to have these people around for me to be a happy-go-lucky & jolly person that everyone should know by now. I'm sooo overwhelmed on my schedule since, from Monday to Saturday, my classes starts at 8 in the morning & ends at 6 in the evening, with only an hour for lunch break. Talk about serious torture! But it's all good since I decided to do my best & love this summer bummer. First day was a blast, but I already had homeworks to do. Golly!

Tuesday- Yeah! I wasn't really able to sleep like yesterday night because of the school works & advance reading assignments to finish, but it was so suprising that I didn't fall asleep in my subjects. I guess being focused really goes a long, long way. I'm so happy that I'm really comfortable in my class despite all my new classmates because of my friends in my back. I'm also thankful because I'm really loving school despite the heavy burdens that I encounter & the burdens that I will surely encounter in the future. But today, I had a great brain workout that needed so much fuel. But sleep nowadays, must be a thing of the past right now. In nursing, you are either awake or just resting... so... zzzzz... Whoa! To close my eyes means putting all my responsibility aside, so back to being a coffeeholic. Oh yeah! I didn't really had a good day when I heard something that was kinda about... let's just say that I have the right to know.

Wednesday- I started to feel like I was already studying for a month now because of all the homeworks, quizzes, research assignments & lectures that I have to tackle in order to be updated. I'm having a good time learning, but it's way too much even for me to handle. From 8am to 6pm?! Even call center agents can't handle our schedule... But I put aside this thought for awhile because I'm really, really busy in my studies. It's no joke after my mom said that NCM100 & Microbiology is hard, so now, I just don't listen to my 'mom facts' anymore because she's always right when it comes to something that is hard to do. Oh how days can turn into weeks...

Thursday- With everything that is happening now, it's really draining my strength but I can only recharged for 3 hours because of the things that must be finished today. From time to time, I really wish I could be somewhere right now having fun & swimming, but reality threw a chalk on me so I'm back to not day-dreaming again. But I'm happy with how this summer classes are  going, since I'm learning way too much & I'm still having fun with my friends & my new friends around. N-313 is kinda good too, but of course, I can't help but miss N-211 so much. Oh yeah! I also realized that I cannot see the sunset anymore because we're always dismissed very very late. Just think, when we were second year, we're really bummed to be released at 4pm or 5pm, but now, I'm happy being dismissed at 5pm, cause that's actually the earliest dismissal we could luckily have. Talked about brain-washing! I had a great evening though, since I was with one of my very close friends Dennis, who made my stress go away with his uberly funny antics. When I got home though, I went straight to bed & closed my eyes & just ignored for now the things that I'll be doing tomorrow. :)

Today!- It's friday & I can't wait for Sunday so I could have my all day. Though I'm really stressed out in studies, I'm still having way too much fun being a student. My teachers are not that really scary, actually, all my teachers were approachable, but of course, it was still I who must be doing something for my grades. Kissing up was way centuries ago. The newest trend, I guess, was being the best in class... not really the best, but being one of the bests. It's all good until I end up here in my laptop, updating you guys in my blog. Oh yeah! I still need to buy something for RLE tomorrow but my mom is still not here. She's watching the game right now in Araneta so I'm praying that I could still buy the things I needed for tomorrow. I'm really worried, but everything's gonna be alright, I suppose. Whoa! I thought I'm going to collapse with all my studies piling up, but I'm still enjoying it the way it's supposed to be.

God bless to everyone & happy, happy birthday to my friend Karren Daka. I wish you get all your heart's desires, & I'm always here for everyone of you. I promise that I'll make a post just for her tomorrow. Good evening & take care. :)

Special thanks to Icey, Karren, Cathy, Mafe, & Anj. :)

Signing off, Survivor

73rd Song - Nothing

Now this one really gets to your heart...

Nothing

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

I don’t understand why people had to say that they are there

But they don’t care

They hold your hand & tell you “you are not alone”

But in the end, they fade away

At first, I thought that I can be the same

I pretend & changed my name

Find myself stuck to my game

I stick to those who never really talked to me

I cannot breathe, I never will

(Chorus)

I’ve been to many places

Where people lie to survive

I thought I have a feeling of unity

To fit right in

& now I put myself into nothing

They say they’re close to me but when I turned my back

They tell them things I shouldn’t hear

I surround myself with people I don’t even know

I’m anybody now

I still walk on my own

Now & then I call myself with words that never tell the truth that dwells

I fell asleep amidst the ordinary lies

I still ignored &, now I am broke

(Repeat Chorus)

I’m nobody & it hurts

I cannot say another word

Though I need some space for me to learn

I lost myself & everything

I cry from what they’re giving me

The weakness I forgot is going back into my heart

(Repeat Chorus)

I’m six feet under

They never even looked at me

How I value TRUST so much

I woke up early in the morning for another day for school. I had a good start yesterday in school, & I guessed it was going to be a great day even if I only had two hours of sleep due to my unique sleeping pattern & re-writing of my notes.

When I went to the bank to withdraw some money, I met Tito Gabo, my mom's friend, & we talked for a minute. He said it's been a long time since he last saw me. I think I was in second year high school so he was so surprised when he heard I was already in 3rd year college! Then I thought to myself, time really does run so fast! To sum it all up, I just grinned my way to school. :)

When classes ended, my day just turned upside down when I heard something that I should have known two years ago. I don't want elaborate more but my point is its TRUST we're dealing with, & that made me so sad...no, devastated.

I'm not very well right now for posting something or studying my subjects, so I'm just gonna stop here & try to get some air.

Good evening everyone & God bless.

Special thanks to Icey, Karren, Cathy, Mafe, & Anj. :)

To those who listened to my songs...

Wow! There were so many people on imeem who've sent me messages saying that I had a great voice & that the songs were great & really touching. It really really means so much to me, & your comments are what's making me feel good everytime. Those imeem people are really great & supportive. Thank you so much for listening to my songs. I really am proud that I posted my songs there, not to mention baring my voice to the public. So thank you so much for the sweet private messages.

I had a great day today! Even though the school didn't tell me that there were no encoders today & that I should pay my tuition on Monday instead, I had a blast bonding with my mom, shobe, my mom's two friends & my childhood friend Yumi whom I consider like a cousin now. I ate so much that I gained enough pounds to tell myself that I really, really had to lose weight! Damn, at first I was 129 pounds in January & 120 pounds in February & March,  but now I'm 130 freakin' pounds!!! What to do? What to do? What to do? Sob.

Ready or not, here I come!

School's on again on Monday, & I'm still not ready for it. But what can I do? It's not like I can stop it.

Anyways, I finished my 72nd composition that I told you about. It's called Coming Back & I think it's an alternative rock kind of song. I'll post the lyrics here.

Coming Back

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

(Chorus)

Just let me know if you’re coming back to me

I didn’t even know what’s happening

Show me that you care for me

Your eyes are complicated, I could never tell

Just tell me if you’re coming back so I can breathe

When I was still & cold, you showed up at me

& made me what I’m trying to be

The rain won’t fall because I had strength

That came from you who you amend

& now I’m falling so hard that I can’t help

You’re the only one who can take it all away

But you fade away

(Repeat Chorus)

When I was watching you it’s hard to move

I’m on your hands & I approved

I made a chance to hold you tight

I looked at you & you’re a sight

But now I’m sinking in reality

You’re the one who’ll save me from the dark

Save me from the dark

(Repeat Chorus)

You control me everywhere

I don’t want you to go

You see I’m not complaining anymore

You’d let me know

Stiff as life I had before

But now I’m sure I’m on the roll

At least right now I’m giving up

You had to tell me if you’re coming back

(Repeat Chorus)

Bring me to a place where I can breathe

(Instrumental)

(Repeat Chorus)

Just tell me if you’re coming back so I can breathe

So much for that... whoo! I'm sweating again! & I just came out of the shower. I think I'm gonna hit the haystack now since it's already 11:10. Yup! I'm trying to sleep earlier now, & I really hope I could wake up early tomorrow for church. God bless to everybody & good night!

Thanks to the listeners again. Ahm-sa-mi-ta (That's thank you in korean)... I'm so addicted to My Girl lately. lol If you want to listen to my songs & hear me sing, just go to http://myuniquestyle.imeem.com/ & you'll see a playlist Faith & Fate album there.

Anyways... :)

Special thanks to Icey, Karren, Cathy, Mafe, & Anj. :)

Promoting Mafe's blog. She has a great post tonight.

Golden Post

It's been great being consistent on this blog of mine, & with this first 50th post, I'm sure gonna continue this for a long, long time. So just to celebrate (alone), I prepared all of my memorable lines & messages from all the posts that I have made since I began blogging.

Enjoy reading! :)

1. Funny how life gives you something good, then takes it all away.

2. I don't have any problems, but its as if I am carrying the whole world.

3. I can't cry, but I can't be happy either... I feel so fulfilled, yet empty... I feel I have won something, but I keep losing everything.

4. You can tell me you're dissapointed

You can tell me you're angry at me

You can even rub it on my face

But you don't get to judge me, & you have no right to tell me things based on what you can see, because you don't even know me...

5. To those who seem to see the real beauty of the world but has no time to look into the mirror- STOP judging!

6. You see, I first thought that I was hopeless from everything... but something is changing... is it because of the weather?

7. It's quite funny how people say they're so busy, but they actually do nothing.

8. It doesn't really matter if you're the good or the bad guy in my story, I don't even care if I was the bad guy in your's.

9. Last year my computer went for a long, long vacation, so I haven't had the chance to say Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to everyone.

10. Its story is very unique compared to other series where "plot is really the problem".

11. Sometimes we thank God for having a family & a set of friends... but at the end of the day, you're just... alone.

12. It's also not that I'm different to them, I'm just not similar to them.

13. I'm not much of a bragger, but I do want someone to tell me I'm doing a great job.

14. Cupid must be bored... & I was the subject for his fun.

15. Allan : Carrying on with my sophisticated pagkal-kal ng bag...

16. I'll keep posting more happy *with fictional parts* stories here, so until here. xoxo gossi... Allan :)

17. (Saludo kami sa'yo Lawrence B. Malana, ang galing mo talaga magpatawa... at mag-rubik's cube)

18. Once again, I apologize if you do not understand my question, I can feel your pain.

19. (1st Album)

Allan - Dreams (or keep Dreaming) lol :)

20. Today, Allan sleeps...

21. What a great day I had yesterday! *Bangs head on table*

22. I am under a lot of stress lately & my aching back can prove it.

23. I guess I still have to wait a little longer for an "all's well that end's well".

24. Season II of my anatomy is about to end, & I'm just in time for mayhems. Stack me up with everything & this antagonist will surely make a way for the writers guild to have a year-long strike.

25. These people will surely be a part of how an Allan became... well... an Allan (Nurse Edition).

26. Allan: I would prefer to call her a society's victim of wrong protein degradation because of genetic mutation. Her name is Jeah.

27. The worst part is, it's Biochemistry! with appetizers of Literature & English. I guess English wouldn't be much of a problem. After all, I'm not Binibining Pilipinas 2008.

28. Sometimes I usually tell myself my blog isn't about being read, it's about being written.

29. This maybe the last episode in my college drama, but I'm still waiting for the Bonus Scenes.

30. It's a platter of seriously fun bonding moments with home-made mojos on the side, made by yours truly. :)

31. Vacation is the best thing that can happen to everyone's life once in awhile, but after that, things really do change... sometimes, overnight.

32. Don't listen to my title people, cause when you let them know that it's time to let them go... they will really go... & that's the worst feeling that everyone would experience, especially when you already let them in into your heart. :_(

33. A double scoop of chocolate, mixed with ube & mango could really help in dilemmas, but I might say that green tea ice cream would be the ‘ice breaker’ to a very healthy stress-free living… I guess… well, it’s worth a try, right?

34. Get ready for your sunglasses guys, cause I’m ready for summer!... & probably mayhems.

35. Stay tuned for more episodes in Allan's Anatomy. Good day! =)

36. Never Gonna Make It Today - Imagining singing with the three Season 8 American Idol bachelors; David Archuletta, Michael Johns & David Cook. That would be so cool! :)

37. Guess who's back from Batangas with his not-so-typical souvenirs that you wouldn't even believe they'd offered?

38. Changes come in two kinds; the happy change & the sad change. Unfortunately, I think I have no choice but to go through the latter.

39. I admit that I'm scared, but let's face it, this journey in life was never been easy to travel, & reality can be such a pain in the butt. But either way, all you have is all you've got, & that can help you be stronger & wiser.

40. Okay guys! Tomorrow might be the last episode in our section, & I'm surely gonna miss everything that happened in our bonding moments. It was a hell of an emotional rollercoaster for all of us, but the fact is, it's all worth it!.... & that's coming from a connoissuer like me.

41. But the saddest part is, many people were saying that change doesn't have to be that dramatic, but what do they know? I'm going into a lot of everything right now. Friends really do come... & go.

42. Let's all remember that problems are a thing that can make you stronger & happier, amidst of all the burdens it's giving you. Just think, rocky road can give you brain freeze, but it's delicious!

43. That is why the word CONTROL (every problems)  rhymes with CONSOLE (give emotional strength).

44. We might meet someone in the past in these life's junctions, & who knows, change can be... good.

45. Another virtual toast, handshake, or whatever that comes into you mind to all of us who outwitted, not the other people, but  ourselves. Why? It's just shows that while the other you who's level of anxiety is beyond the sky is doubting whether you passed this test or not, the other you worked so hard to be sure he/she can pass it with flying colors. Now all of us, give yourselves a self-hug & imagine all of your friends are hugging you so tight. Of course, don't you forget about me. :)

46. Smile A David Archuleta Smile

How can you not envy a smile wider than a 12-meter ruler?

47. That's why it's called cursing in the first place, you know, from the root word 'curse'?

48. From a little corner of his universe... there's a little Allan Aldrinne Leyva singin' :)

49. Yep! God created the letter H not just for -urt, but for -appiness too.

50. If someone who's irreplaceable walks out unto your life... well, Beyonce said it herself, right? & in the end, another one who's better will make you happy, simple as that... Not really, but hey! Dogs can go back when they go out of the house, why can't we?

51. Life can be so hot! (Sweating)

Another job well done to an Allan that you & I know. Just expect more posts in dealing with everything the world has to offer. It's been a great ride here in Lefty's Journal, & I hope some of you might still listening... with their eyes. My point is, just keep supporting me in doing this, because I already fell in love with it. Good night & God bless. :)

Special thanks to Icey, Karren, Cathy, Mafe, & Anj.

Oh yeah! Please visit Marrise's, Anj's & Mafe's blog too. It's got loads of stories & lessons that you can apply to life. :)

37C

Life can be so hot! (Sweating)

Today I had a feeling of serenity amidst the storm, maybe because I didn't have to put all my thoughts in my head today. I guess I had to put my fears aside for a moment to enjoy the remaining days of vacation until the school opening. I also have to be ready for a lot of stressful moments... but I can handle it. I should be used to it by now anyway.

I guess I should thank the sun too. If it wasn't for its heat, I'll maybe feel the coldness into my spine that can result to my melancholy mood in any moment. How can you be melancholy anyways with these school enrollment stuff to handle? lol

I'll maybe write a song tonight. I had a tune inside my head recently & I figure that I should turn this into something... with words.

So I haven't got anything to say cause my day isn't that interesting today. I sure could use a dip in the pool to refresh myself... & my creativity as well. God bless everyone & have a good evening.

Special thanks to Icey, Karren, Cathy, Mafe, & Anj. :)

My Friend Allan

I'm kinda worried about what's happening to a friend of mine right now. He's not himself lately... or maybe it's just the superficial attitude that I'm looking through lately, but anyways...

He's acting weird & he can't sleep at night. He can't even open up his problems to me, & carrying the ‘burden load’ must be tough without someone helping him. I love this guy so much but he can't seem to love himself.

Who's this guy? He's Allan Aldrinne Leyva, just a guy I know... or not. The point is, he never shows his depression to anybody, maybe because he's afraid... I think he's afraid of what's ahead of him & he has no idea how things will work out for him. I wanted to approach him last night, saying that I'm here & I'll never let go of him, but I can't even say a word that can comfort him, so I just listened to him cry all night, tucked in his pillow & hugging his stuff toy Tigger...what? He still needs somebody, or in his case, something. All I know is he's one heck of a mess right now.


Allan’s a great pretender, as Elvis always said. But he had no choice, he must act as a well-balanced person so that people who emotionally depends on him will never lose anything about hope or whatever they call it in chasing for their ultimate goals.

I guess he should be more careful in life reflection. 8….(

GossipGirl: Spotted, A looking through nothing...

Amount of Hurt = Amount of Happiness

If you think your world is being crushed by now & can't do anything about it, then let it be. At least for awhile.

Maybe you consider yourself being one of the most unluckiest people right now, but hurting can be a beneficial factor to everyone of us. Yep! God created the letter H not just for -urt, but for -appiness too.

In some of the movies, people always complain about being hurt by their love ones & how they can't continue their life anymore, but in reality, a person who's being hurt has reserved a reason to smile amidst the stormy weather. Reality tells us that beneath these scratches from the heart, there's a tiny emotional-platelet that'll heal it & will give the equal amount of happiness you'll be having to make it seem more worth it in the end.

If you have been hurting for a million times now, just expect a million times of happiness that will surely go along your way. That's the best part of life; they know when to make you happy after they make you sad.

If someone who's irreplaceable walks out unto your life... well, Beyonce said it herself, right? & in the end, another one who's better will make you happy, simple as that... Not really, but hey! Dogs can go back when they go out of the house, why can't we?

It's just a simple math really. Amount of Hurt equals to Amount of Happiness you'll be receiving. Have a great morning. :)

Special thanks to Icey, Cathy, Karren, Mafe, & Anj. :)

Signing off, Sleepy-but-happy

71st Song : Change

Since the genesis of my part-time hobby... blogging, I've been talking about changes & how we should accept it the way it does to everyone of us, & I guess I have to, you know, stop talking about it & just focus on to what is happening now.

So to end this topic in my blog for awhile, I made a song about it. It's a fast song (if you want to call it rap) & I'm guessing it's not really me, but the lyrics reflect upon what's into myself lately.

Oh yeah! If you still want to hear my song that I sang, you can go to this link : http://myuniquestyle.imeem.com/music/ & you'll be suprise to what you'll hear. Anyways, here's the lyrics of Change:

Change

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

Don’t you call me a messenger of your love affair

Remember I was in your hands way back when I was growing up

Nothing really matters when you feel that feeling of Heaven

I had to be mature since everybody else is breaking up

About my critical credentials, off limits

Keep dreaming & you’ll be asking for a lot of problems in my suitcase

It doesn’t have to be that hard to stop following me

Can you please give me some space & just let me be

(Chorus)

Goodbye to immaturity

No wonder I have done these kinds of overrun

I have to stand alone

I cannot be the same again

Especially when they are making up these myths

I have to make a change

I don’t know if you’re just deaf or simply, plainly dumb

I said back off I’m having a relapse of what you’re throwing me

I never said I was bad luck in your empty headed news

But if you say you’re right then what the hell are you asking me for

Seriously don’t be mean 

I have nothing against you

Distance please, I need peace

Everything is what I do

(Repeat Chorus)

(Instrumental)

I hope there’ll be no second choice

I had to say this with all my voice

Don’t get me wrong

I’m moving on

I’m being ahead

Get out of my head

(Repeat Chorus 2x)

Anyways, it's been a very boring day for me. Throughout the day I just lie on the bed for hours without doing anything but sleep.

So much for that, school is coming near & I have to put up a lot of energy to be focus on to my studies again. Third year college! Can you believe it? We've been studying for maybe 14 years already & we only got 2 years to enter a whole new reality so let's make the most out of it.

If we can party hard, then let's study harder. Good night everyone! God bless & take care.

Special thanks to Icey, Cathy, Karren, Mafe & Anj. :)

Signing off, Change-Fanatic

My First 16 Songs... Recorded!

From a little corner of his universe... there's a little Allan Aldrinne Leyva singin' :)

We all know that there's only one David Archuleta, or Michael Johns, or whoever that sings great, but there's no crime in sharing my songs... in acapella right? Plus, I just want everybody to listen & to try understand the lyrics behind the annoying (for you maybe) voice. Go to the link of this post if you're interested to hear my songs... or voice lol. Don't expect too much alright? There are instances that my voice is really raspy because I've recorded these 16 songs in one night, so plug your earphones so you're the only one who can hear the noise there. Whoo! Will somebody be optimistic & please encourage me! lol

I had doubts posting my songs, but what the heck, right?

Excited to laugh or... believe? Go to this link: http://myuniquestyle.imeem.com/music/ 

I think you have to log in or sign up to enter imeem.

Here's the list of the songs, with the carrier singles Believe, Make It Real, Dreams, Go Ahead, & Never Gonna Make It Today Feat. David Archuletta, Michael Johns & David Cook... What?! A man can dream too! :)

Allan - Faith & Fate :D

1. Believe

2. Dreams

3. Faith & Fate

4. Go Ahead

5. Hate Is Love

6. Here Alone

7. How Could I Begin Again

8. I'm Only A Man Who Dreams

9. Just A Little More

10. Love Inside A Bottle Floating On A Puddle

11. Make It Real

12. Never Gonna Make It Today Feat. David Archuletta, Michael Johns & David Cook :D

13. Nothing's Gonna Be The Same Again

14. Tell Me Something I Don't Know

15. This Song

16. Unimportant

P.S. I warned you already, so don't blame me when you get an ear problem or something lol :)

Special thanks to Icey, Karren, Cathy, Mafe, & Anj. :D

Music cognition all the way, A DARING Allan

Smile A David Archuleta Smile

How can you not envy a smile wider than a 12-meter ruler?

Right Ice? :)

Reality bites... but we bite harder!

Last night, it finally happened! The GNQE results were out & I was jumping up & down when I talked to my friend Ms. GCIC herself. Woohoo! Good thing I called her!

Yeah! Everyone should know by now that we all did it! All thanks to our powerful Father who guided us throughout the way. I still can't believe I stood up when I fell so low, & obviously, it's all worth it in the end.

My gosh how we've come this far. Trusting our instincts & believing that reality can be a good thing really makes everything seem, not easy, but memorable; how we overcome one of the biggest obstacle of our lives knowing that we all started from scratch & how we had to continue this journey not because we had no choice or we need to, but because we want to.

For those who didn't make it, there's a different path you can choose, probably to change for the better. Who knows, the journey that you will take will be the best thing that will happen to you. Let's not forget that everything happens for a reason.

Another virtual toast, handshake, or whatever that comes into your mind to all of us who outwitted, not the other people, but  ourselves. Why? It's just shows that while the other you who's level of anxiety was beyond the sky is doubting whether you passed this test or not, the other you worked so hard to be sure he/she can pass it with flying colors. Now to all of us, give yourselves a self-hug & imagine all of your friends are hugging you so tight. Of course, don't you forget about me. :)

Altogether now... Reality bites... but we bite harder, GNQE Passer / Blessed Blogger

Good day everyone :)

Special thanks to Icey, Karren, Cathy, Mafe, & Anj. :D

Open to Change

It must be early for me to hit the computer & say anything without a morning smile, but waking up from a weird dream told me that I must write something... something that I am feeling now & something that I must blurt it out.

To be able to ride with the waves of change, which is what I always talk about every now & then, I must accept it the way it supposed to be. Because that's the only constant thing in this world, I had no choice but to be one with it. It may seem weird at first, but that's the only thing for living a cadence life.

I don't wanna be sad at all, but it's depressing to know the fact things about life; how we must enter someone's life & just go, how we should be susceptible to be strong, how we should make mistakes to learn, & all that. & the worst part from all it is, well... that's life.

Change, how could someone be open to it? Well, as part of life's depressing facts, we must close the old door & open a new one, no matter how we wanted to cling to our old life. I know it's sad, but when it comes to change, we must also accept it. Learning new things can be exciting, but then again...

I guess all we had to do is expect the unexpected. My content may be a little off, but let's just be ready for the things that can alter our lives. We might meet someone in the past in these life's junctions, & who knows, change can be... good. Good day everyone.

Hail Thyselves!!!

Hi! Crazy ol' blogger again! So once in awhile, when all the things in your life seem went wrong, then, this could be weird words coming from a weird person, but you have to give yourselves a pat on the back every once in awhile.

Altruistically, I'm not saying we should all slap our back, but when you find yourself in your room all alone & crying, then it's time to give yourselves an emotional self-hug today. Stop all the moping around, try to redeem yourselves, jump on your bed, open the windows, & feel the sunlight on your face. Okay, I got to stop imagining... lol.

If you have to stop being a cry-baby, then now is the time to do it. Let all think that these certain problems of yours right now are only temporary. You did conquer your fears of monsters in your closet, right? Or sang infront of everybody without any hesitations, right? Then what the heck are you sobbing for? Come on! If you think things are a mess, then you have to be a mess yourself. Dance, laugh, & jump if you like. That's why ice creams are invented too :D

Let's all remember that problems are a thing that can make you stronger & happier, amidst all the burdens it's giving you. Just think, rocky road can give you brain freeze, but it's delicious!

To my good pal Karren dela Cruz - Yeah! It's a different me here in Lefty's Journal; a different level of happiness! With a warning sign "Caution, may damage brain & behavior" lol. It's not because I'm a Cap-rius (Capricorn-Aquarius) who keeps changing for the better... actually, I am! lol. But then again, if you have to move on or change, then do it, unless you might want to chew that bubblegum that you have for three days now. Yuck!

Had to stop all these dramas? Then stop all the dramas! Stop all the dramas! Well, I guess dramas should be done in tv novelas from now on.

Your 'maybe' one of your favorite singers Gavin deGraw also said... "If you need a friend, I'll be around..."

Since we can't do this alone sometimes, then find a friend that can make you feel much better; tell them all your problems & laugh with them. That is why the word CONTROL (every problems) rhymes with CONSOLE (give emotional strength). It reminds us how we should find someone you can lean on & can lean back on you, even without any super glue included. It also rhymes with CINNAMON ROLL, which is a mouth-watering obsession I had (Okay! I really got to stop comparing things from food) :)

Evidently, let's all congratulate ourselves for a job well done! We got this far & we're completely sure we can make it to the end. Even though you have to go back to Friday for the GNQE results because you went to school awhile ago because they didn't give you a fixed date!!! lol. Yeah, it was postponed until Friday, so you can also postpone that chilly feelings & anxiety you have & start dancing with your underwear!!! Of course, all alone... in your room... comfort room... doors locked... no sounds. lol

Listen to your favorite music that can help you feel better. Stop being an 'emo' just for a second & listen to upbeat songs. So Sick can make you So Sad, so why not consider Happy by Hilary?

Victory is within ourselves, & we don't have to be that smart to figure that out. We control life because we are life, & that's the only reason (or maybe the most shortcut reason) that we should always bear in mind to be fulfilled & contented.

Everything is better than before!!! Aja Aja Fighting! :D

Since you're already encouraged (or maybe bored) by my wordy words-words, then let's all celebrate starting with a virtual toast in our perfect-enough world! & this is coming from a rather average student like myself. Good day everyone & God bless!

>>>Oh yeah! If you might wanna read this blog again, you may find that the first letters of every paragraphs you have read spell out the word HAIL THYSELVES. which happens to be the title of this post. Some of the letters are intentional, so you don't have to wow me for doing one lol. Allan :)

Special thanks to Ice, Karren, Cathy, Mafe, & Anj. :D

Goodbye

I just realized now that there are many who (or maybe what) are saying goodbye in my life, no matter how much they say they care about me. Well, at least I still remember them.

But the saddest part is, many people were saying that change doesn't have to be that dramatic, but what do they know? I'm going into a lot of everything right now. Friends really do come... & go.

Sometimes we all need a little bit of attention from time to time. Of course, with our friends. Well, I guess having a busy life can destroy something. Maybe some of my friends were not the ones who I think they were, but hey! I trust them, & I don't have to doubt them from feigning something that we have already built.

Awhile ago we went to the wake of my Lolo Ding. It's actually a relief to him, at least he could rest in Heaven now. I'm happy just thinking about that.

But all in all, you just had to ask yourself why does everything have to go? Destiny's maybe a bummer, right?

I'm so exhausted!!! After I'll watch an episode of Hana Kimi Japanese Version in mysoju.com, I would really hit the haystack very early. Good day to everyone. :)