Octavious

Hey everyone! Just wanna update you guys in this last day of July cause we'll be entering the month of August now. Although I need to prepare for school to fix my project in NCM before I pass the deadline. Sheesh!

Anyways, I couldn't make any huge & lengthy posts today, & I don't wanna bore you guys either so I'm making a quick stop here. As most of you guys know, I would never even have a one day off if not for the holidays. I couldn't really complain though, cause I'm trying to enjoy going to school, & I am. So it's probably worth hammering myself in the end.

I'm also awed from you recent comments lately. They really cheer me up even when they're weird & childish. I do love trifles. :)

Gonna be late if I make this longer now. So I'll see you all later when I post my header for the coming August. God bless, take care & have a good & safe morning! :)

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne :D

Blazing Fire

It is so hard to stay on that line... & harder once you got out.

I still don't get it- people. People who sometimes think highly of themselves. It's as if they're the ones who have to be seen, to be heard, or to be followed. I usually stay away from the fire, but then again, sometimes we're usually attracted to our own mistakes.

Whether or not it's real, I still gave my benefit of the doubt. Perhaps it's one way of telling everyone I'm not like other people, that I don't usually squeal before I feel something, & I even tend to anticipate the action rather than avoiding it, hoping it wouldn't hurt me in the end.

But it did. Diffused to be more specific. All I could do now is to avoid myself from bleeding too much, cause I might realize that you've become important to me after all. Wait.. too late.

Slipping in... soaring out, Aldrinne 

Si-Fi-Nurse!

Back home from PCGH! Rad rotation! I love it when people do crazy stuff like, perhaps, group work after our instructor went out to get herself a drink. lol whatever! Too happy to be blogging with the right feeling & attitude though.

I actually didn't feel getting any better since yesterday when I got that massive headache after our president's last (not our last, but hers) State Of the Nation Address. Sleep deprivation? Got that right! So I took some antipyretics & went straight to bed.

Okay I skipped dinner again... but I'm actually not in the mood. I didn't have problems eating breakfast & lunch though...

So I woke up at three in the morning, as most of you guys know (cause of my Twitter) & focused on my paper works, groomed myself, & went to the hospital for our last duty for this month. I'm happy about it, even though I felt restless there.

I was happy because I'm getting good at my interpersonal skills when it comes to my patients. I know! So what? Big deal?! Roll you eyes again, whatever! lol, but back then I really don't talk much to my patients. I just went straight to their beds & grab their arm & get their blood pressure. Yeah! I suck at communication.

At least I'm not finding a hard time to connect with my patients now, right? Although there was an old pop who went ballistic on our group. He didn't really mean no harm though, he thought he could finally breathe if he tried removing the IV insertion. At least he's with her wife now when I saw him before we left the institution.

Anyways, it's fun to get to know some of my clustermates too. :)

Si-Fi Nurse! lol. Rachelle, you're one heck of a best friend, you know that, right? Singer, flight attendant & a nurse! Cheese puffs!

So I'm planning to get something to eat outside, maybe write a few songs (I miss composing, dang it!), & finally start my NCM project for my professor. I'm also gonna post some of the blogs that I've found enjoyable & interesting to read in my newest blog section, Ads.Blogs.Collabs. Also, I'm gonna post a composition later.

I also want to greet my best friend a happy, happy birthday! Jeah Jacob! She's really a nice (in her own way) lady once you get to know her. She's fun to be with cause you can actually punch her so hard & she'll just end up laughing about it. I really miss this wanna-be! But I'm really proud of her & I look up to her cause I know in the future, she'll be doing great things for the world... maybe the lady with the lamp part two? lol

Anyways, check you guys later! Approving your comments now! God bless & take care everyone! Kiss! :)

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne :D

SchizOrange

That 30 hour-need of wakefulness really took a lot from me. That did not bother me at all cause obviously, I should've been used to my abnormal sleeping pattern. The thing, however, that sticked to my mind throughout the whole day was finding out I have schizophrenia. *Ambivalent smirk*

I'm not really certain though cause, first of all, I only sensed I have it since my Audit speaker/ mentor Mr. Rod explained the meaning behind my favorite color, which is orange. That actually explains why he defined orange last before the second set of our post examination awhile ago.

Second reason why I'm not sure was because nobody actually diagnosed it other than me. I know most of the data are collected from what the client feels or verbalizes, but it seems like diagnosing myself rather than assessing doesn't make me an expert of psychotic studies.

But you know what, 96% of me is sure enough that I have schizophrenia after all. I constantly worry about this until I woke up from my nap at eleven o'clock in the evening. So, after everyone else was asleep, I began researching about schizophrenia.

So you might be thinking what the heck is schizophrenia right now. You may have heard that term before, but we're actually not sure what that means. I thought schizophrenia was like constant seizure activities because of brain concussions or damage. It's actually a mental disorder that are characterized by abnormalities in the perception or expression of reality.

I hate to admit it, but when I've read about the 'Schiz'; the causes, reasons & different managements etc., it was as if all the puzzles fit in, but I'm more of a schizotypal personality disorder kind of guy.

It's blasphemy to tell I have this neural disorder in such an early age, but come to think of it, the range of having SPD starts normally at the age of 15 & upto 25, & I'm actually at the right age where the onset usually starts.

I also tend to isolate myself from all the people during classes (even though I'm doing it on purpose). I might've inherited it from my parents, or may have experienced negativities in life too much like rejection of trauma or may have anxiety or inappropriate coping mechanisms.

So having SPD doesn't mean I couldn't act normal. I mean, I know I'm not mentally well as a person, but that doesn't change the fact that I can't continue doing what I do before. It's just a part of me to think that life is more than just reality sometimes. & besides, I get all my creativity in writing songs & stories by this disorder too. But when this thing really does exists in me & that it's causing me & all the people I love some problems, then I would be happy to follow treatment measures.

Anyways, Prelim grades were also distributed yesterday after we were dismissed. Guess what? Most of our class, cluster 11, haven't made a good impression in the first period of Course Audit. I really tried to shut myself up cause I know it'll be harder for them if they know that I passed even when they see me in my chair sometimes obviously not listening to some topics that are being discussed again, especially in the preliminary exam week where I didn't even study for the exam itself.

However, I still believe we would all pass our Audit subject in the end, let's just give our best shot & push more effort in grooving on for the Midterms, alright? Just remember that maintaining a positive attitude while taking the exams is really important so you can ace it! Congratulations to my mom & Anne Gray too; I really appreciate both their determination in doing a fine job. You could really tell they're seriousness when it comes to becoming nurses in the future!

I just want to deliver some news about the people I recently mentioned in LJ so you guys could add them in your prayers. My best friend Celine Leonardo, who is scheduled to have a job interview on July 30 is having intermittent fever again due to her previous flu. I wish you guys could add her in your prayers, especially Dustin K., who have had his brain surgery three days ago & is still in a coma state until now. His mom tweeted something about him experiencing small heart attacks & spasms, so I wish it would signify as normal responses to wake up soon.

I guess I might end it here; I already killed almost three hours just by typing this post. It's actually rest day for some of the students like me because of our president's last State Of the Nation Address scheduled today. Let's just pray it'll go smoothly though.

I apologize (again!) for not approving all your comments. I still have 1,800 comments to go & last night I decided to delete them. Sorry if one of them was yours, but I promise to approve your new comments again! I'll be publishing my new blog page today about collaborations & advertisements so you'll hear a lot from me today. God bless & good morning!

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne :D

Sleep Deprivation & Senile Dissociation

Here's the deal, I haven't had any decent sleep since yesterday cause of rebound insomnia in my brain. Talk about a blasted circadian rhythm from someone who blabs about shaping in... *insert laugh here*

Anyway, apart from constantly praying for a set of abs, I would really (maybe ten times) love having just a day-off to regain my healthy sleeping pattern & maybe update myself entertainmentically (sorry, brain concussions) meaning, the need to watch Harry Potter & Ice Age 3 before they phase out in movie houses. Damn it!

I'm not saying I don't want to study anymore. In fact, I've probably never been more energized or inspired to enjoy the last school year of college life. It's quite earthshaking from the pressures I'm receiving but it's better to be thirsty for knowledge than purging your way to failure, right?

What really sucks about these 24/7 schooling was like being in an asylum where they're training you too much until you go crazy. One example- Audit class from eight o'clock to five in the afternoon... on Saturday & Sunday. However, this dang physique of mine's doing good in the weight-loss department... getting me so much attention.

"Bat parang ang bilis mong pumayat? Kainis ka..." My teacher asked me. "it's due to stress, ma'am... (& some secret pancakes on the side lol)" I complied.

I've also experienced involuntarily dozing offs for a few seconds & ending up biting my swollen lip to make me awake during the lecture & the exam itself. Luckily, this bad ass nincompoop didn't give in, not until lunch time though. It's pretty... no, excruciatingly funny how I gave up to sleep if you did see me awhile ago; I dozed off infront of my food! The worst part was mom's trying to ask herself whether I'm dead or just plainly thankful for my food. She woke me up & next thing I knew I'm in supine position on my bed, with my boxers to keep me from being violated lol.

I went back to school with blood-shot eyes after I woke up thirty minutes before my class starts. After a little bit of grooming, I went straight to school only to find out that they cancelled it anyhow, so I ended up in bed again, still solely wearing my boxers. Don't even think about me forgetting to put my clothes on before I hit the road. I'm not that sedated! lol :P

Okay, having orthostatic hypertension, eye re-adjustments & palpitations now. I feel like dying already... in a good way (huh?)

After some intervals of naps, I went to the hospital with my little sister to check up on my friend Amen who acquired dengue a few days ago but is now doing better. There I only didn't teach some things about the disease.. I also got the same compliment of my life.

An attending physician there (forgot his name) went to my friend's room to check up on him. I took the charts he left on the bed. He then saw me (being a show off that I was) looking at the diagnoses & at the medications' page. After he checked up on her & heard some of my cool doctor-like conversation with Amen's mom, he asked me where I'm having my internship right now. What the heck? He must've been thinking that I was practicing medicine. Not impossible though, cause the whole clan is trying to persuade me to take it up. Still deciding... what do you think? @_@

Anyways, I got home, did not sleep again & now blogging to you guys! haha. I wish Audit class will be fun later, or else I would go bezonkers during our pretest. Anyways, I got to drink this coffee before I turn to stone.

Oh yeah! Good news guys! My friend Dustin K who recently had his brain surgery is doing fine now. At least now we could thank God that it's finally over. Celine Leonardo is also at her recovery stage of her acute respiratory problems now so she'll ace the scheduled interview anyway. Also, I think Charmaine is expected to be discharged today. I think all these made my day.

Coffee's kicking in...

I just wanna thank you all for the comments, especially THE Shane Dawson who actually dropped me a comment in Mark My Mouth like two weeks ago. I didn't find that out until today when I was browsing through what I thought were spams.

Someone was also asking me why I haven't had any MTNB or stories in the 'Life or Something Like it' category. I'm just really busy so I couldn't find a lot of time to be making one right now, but I promised I'll be making it up to everyone of you especially to those Allanned! readers! I'll finish approving all the past comments you guys have given me later... I also apologize for that too- truth is, I don't know much about blog settings! lol

Okay, feeling the adrenalin rush now. I'm excited to see you all later tonight when I'll be adding something in Lefty's. God bless, take care & good morning to you! BTW, that nickname Alds... is actually starting to grow on me. Thanks Ralph... or Rhalf! haha

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne :D

160th Song- Get You

This song has been in my unfinished compositions folder for a year & two months now. I started writing this on May 30, 2008 & finally finished it on the 10th of July. lol Sounds interesting huh?

Get You

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

(Get you)

Life is moving on so fast

It wouldn’t last

But I know you’ll always show the best in me

If I could be enough for you

I really would

Cause I know that having you around was

(Chorus)

The best part in a movie scene

The greatest ride in a coaster ride

The friend you’ve ever met in your life

You’re like the best thing I’d ever received

Famous line she wants to recite

The moment being spent with you

I never really think that I would get you

I never really think that I would get you

Get, get you

I see you climbing down my world

& you’re still in doubt

But I know I’ll show the place that we could have

If I’m running back to you

Is that I’m trough

With the things that happening around

(You’re)

(Repeat Chorus)

Life is moving on so fast

It wouldn’t last

But I know you’ll see the best

You’re like the shortcut from a long way back

Favorite line in a beautiful song

You’re like a glue that holds me tight together

(Repeat Chorus 2x)

Get you, get, get you

Get you, get, get you

Okay, just a few gobsmacking plot of internal destruction this morning, also known as going to bed at twelve in the morning after studying & then waking up at four because of David Archuleta... my alarm tune! lol:

First of all, I apologize again for not updating the posts in my second blog, Allanned! Some followers there (actually, I have only four haha) are asking me if I'm still updating it. Yes! I will be updating it as soon as I'll have the time putting all those remaining posts on the other blog. I'm really, really sorry for that.

Next, I'm formally announcing today that I will be looking for a band! Yes! A band, or I don't know, just a guitarist who will give some tunes to my songs. I actually recorded a few last year without any melodies whatsoever & it's not really, you know, the songs that we'll make an impact in the future. I just hope I could find someone who could help me. So I'll let you know when I'll be recording another few sets of my compositions, alrighty?

I'm also asking for your prayers for these few people I'm gonna be mentioning cause they really need them:

1. Charmaigne Noilan, my neighborhood friend... & like my little sister now, has been diagnosed with Dengue fever. She was admitted yesterday & I just received the news like this morning. Crap! I remember her coming to my house like two days ago complaining 'bout coming down with a flu & asking me if she could lie down for a minute in my bed because she didn't bring any house keys with her.

I can explain Dengue but I won't cause, honestly, I'm a little afraid. I know that God will let her regain her health in a few days. She's still in the hospital right now complying to treatments & procedures. I'm planning to visit her later.

2. Dustin K. also known as Dusel on Twitter, will be having his brain surgery later to eradicate the tumors for good. As you may remember he also had several times of cardiac operations & he still survived. God will still support him in everyday.

3. Last but definitely not the least, my high school buds Rachelle Ang & Celine Leonardo! They're actually applying for jobs now. Celine will be having an interview on July 30 so please pray that she will conquer her flu before the said date.

Late congratulations to my buddy Ralph- I didn't know he already graduated together with Chellang & Celine's batch! So anyways, I'm gonna go prepare for school now. Thank you for Dustin Denver from Guam (still not sure) for finally learning how to post a comment with ReCaptcha!

By the way, new rules for subscribing; If you have a Friendster account, then you can just add me as a friend there & poof! You don't have to do anything anymore! Cool huh? My new email is aldrinne_leyva@yahoo.com (& not the weird havock_pone@yahoo.com any longer, but I still am using it as my YM id though).

So far I've already approved more than thirty people, most of them are men (I don't know), who added me so they could automatically subscribe. That means I already have 500 plus subscribers cause F'team will do the resto f the job! God bless & have a fun Friday everyone! Wish me luck on the exam today! Peace out homedawgs!

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne :D

There's something about Thursdays...

I'm trying to ignore the news today. I couldn't turn it off cause mom's watching it, & I hate jinxing a perfect day today, which I did not expect when I woke up restless. Oh my, a helicopter crash! That's just awful.

Anyways, Salutalk everyone! I really had a fun day today amidst these events that are happening in the real world. Though I've felt my day's not gonna be that productive, life really does have a lot of surprises in his suitcase, don't yah think?

I'm just happy that I think I've made a good performance in my preliminary exam today. I nearly dozed off for ten minutes during the 20th question, but I was on fire after that- not because I know every answer... I was actually running out of time! lol, stupid body clock! Well, guess that's the climax of my story.

So I made a very good impression today by showing up in school without the weird me, & yes! I didn't use my old backpack which prevented those people who wanted to talk to me before. lol I just thought it's not right for me to not be sociable in my new school just because I wanna focus on my studies this school year (which isn't really what I'm doing lately). 

It's actually nice to meet some good & cool people in the internet too. Yup! One of the reasons I didn't get to school earlier was not because of playing Waka-Waka only (lol), but I've also had a conversation, well, twittersation, with Rhalf Bediones. He's a very big fan of stalking celebrities in Twitter too, just like me, who's longing for David Archie's reply. Well, you could say we're Twitterwhores too, right Shane Dawson?

Honestly, I didn't even know how I got to be friends with 'MisterPokerFace' in Facebook. Like Gerlyn dela Cruz, a friend of mine, who showed up in my YM some couple of years ago, before we actually met face to face & enjoyed Plurking with the rest of the community. You should follow them though, together with my bestfriend Chellang, I recommend it. ;)

I've also been receiving tons of friend invites in my Friendster too. One of them even had a... (how should I put this?) maybe a 'tweet' for a primary photo lol. Of course I rejected it but I'm curious how they even found my account in the first place. Maybe because Friendster is actually promoting Lefty's Journal now, one of the benefits I've received from winning a nonexistent 'Chosen as blog of the year!' award in March. (They're so gonna make me take back those words) That or they're just blog readers too.

I also had a fun chat with my big sister Tania on Facebook... so it's not really confidential though, but I really miss our spontaneous lines & actions which only the two of us would understand. I wish I could visit her in Australia in the next year though, or the other way around. Cross fingers everyone! :)

Okay, am I way over my topic? lol Not really. To end a perfect sunny weather, my favorite professor's Thursday Bible study was amazing today! We enjoyed learning about God's love so much that we didn't even realize the time. There's something about Thursdays which constantly gives me a new positive outlook in life. Thank you Lord.

Anyways, I think I'm way over my maximum length for today's post, so I'm just gonna end it here & try to study for the prelim exam tomorrow. I'm thinking 'bout eating dinner too... hmm, come to think of it, I only ate a piece of pork & a chocolate today. I'm not Manorexic people! I'm just so occupied that I haven't had the time to eat. Anyways, thank you my fellow countrymen for the blog uniques yesterday & some of my readers today. You inspire me a lot you guys! God bless & take care everyone. Signing off...

Shaping in, shipping out, ALDS (whatever Ralph) :D

Chris Brown, Hayden Kho & Allan Leyva?

Two days ago, Chris Brown posted a video of him apologizing to the public for the first time. At first, my reaction was like, okay whatever. Involuntary eye rolling again, but come to think of it, the incident that happened between Chris & Rihanna was almost similar to my recent accident before.

Some recent posts ago, (can I say that? lol) I talked about how saying sorry could change someone's life, even though people will just talk about it like you're like the bad guy in this movie. I also begged for apology from a recent post also, & that doesn't make me different from what Brown has done.

I also didn't mind hearing what Hayden Kho (the one who was accused of having video scandals) was trying to say. I actually ignored his sentiments & directly went to Katrina Halili's side. To top it all off, I actually posted a shoutout from my Facebook stating 'I hate Hayden Kho! Who's with me?'

Okay, I know I promised myself that I won't judge people because of what they've done. I sometimes just don't understand myself when I tend to judge celebrities that don't really differ from everyone. I know I learned my lesson, but today, I inculcated it for good.

When I saw his face on that video, it was the same face I had when I was going through all that video controversies. I also watched Hayden's interview from a Youtube channel somewhere. It was as if I'm looking in the mirror- our complexions may be a lot different but the three of us suffered from the same fate.

I felt guilty & appalled just thinking about the hate statements I'm sharing whenever someone doesn't make a very nice impression. Also, all those hate comments from that video, never actually surprised me at all. I could've dropped a comment about how his career is affected from that controversy in a mean kind of way, but I felt Chris' intentions.

It was unforgivable to other people, but what about all of us? We were forgiven by God when Jesus Christ died on the cross & we can't even forgive a single person from his transgression. Doesn't this make us much worst than Brown's actions?

We all submit to rage sometimes. Heck we even steal, lie, cheat & hurt people. Isn't it hypocrisy when we condemn Chris Brown & Hayden Kho (plus me, I think) so much? People, we shouldn't even have the right to respond negatively in the first place.

You might deny it, telling me you don't do bad stuff like beating up people, especially women. As your defense, you would say 'at least I don't Chris-Brown someone!' Tell you what, we all make bad stuff too. If you think about it, whatever sins we're making, it doesn't really weigh less than those of other people. Have you seen God making someone stay in hell for two hours because he only stole two bucks? Can you imagine how someone would remain in hell for only twenty minutes because he just lied about passing an exam?

There's only black & white when it comes to facing the consequences. I for one didn't even escape the music from the things I've made, even if it's unintentional. I faced it with courage because I knew it would just make matters worst if I ignore it, & many people were involved from my wrong actions, so I did the most responsible thing & became the image of a person who lacks respect. Yes, me. However, it was good to solve this thing out. I just want to make everything right cause, after all, this is my second chance in life... like Brown & Kho's in their career.

So I just wanted to repeat what Hayden said during his defense in that controversy- we should condemn the sin & not the sinner, or something like that. If you're going through the same faith like the three of us did, just remember that this is God's way of knocking into your life again, a wake up call we all should experience to see my point. We're feeling yah.

To those haters & non-believers, there will come a time when you'll end up having the same faith. Deny it & hate me, but I'm presenting reality from Chris Brown's recent apology. I need to study for my preliminary exam tomorrow & I haven't read something! Hopefully I could stay up all night & earn that ten kilograms of neurons my favorite professor was implying. God bless & take care everyone! Keep the faith.

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne :D

159th Song- Forever Isn't Faraway From You

Forever Isn’t Faraway From You

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

Do you remember what it feels?

To run, run, from afar

Then think of me like’s nothing’s gonna harm you now

Do you feel it too?

The vision of the future

How you hold my hand & seconds I’m all yours to take

(Chorus)

If you have the memory

Share it once again to me

Cause I would like to know

That forever isn’t glorified to you

I can’t just defend myself

When you tell me that we made sense

We can own the life

We have all the right

I still remember

When you look at me as if I don’t know

Actually I’m looking at you too

I’m still feeling it

Though it’s just a glimpse of memory

I know it happened, what else could happened?

(Repeat Chorus)

Say that you would always be the better part of me

I don’t care if they would say I’m not the one you need

Keep in mind the love we’ve got

I’m sure it’s gonna last

If forever isn’t faraway from you

(Instrumental)

Do you remember?

That I’m looking back on the way we are

It’s better putting all the past into my now

(Repeat Chorus 2x)

Faraway from you

Ctrl + F4

That was a very disturbing & weird post... lol

I wasn't feeling very good when I got home so I guess that explains the post I've written awhile ago. I read it again & was surprised... "Did I even write this?" - my first reaction. So I figured out how to delete a blog post then poof! Next thing I know I'm re-typing my week again.

Okay, so I haven't been in the cool & fun side of the world lately. The only things that keep me entertained are my YM conferences with my high school best friends, my blog, my Bible & my compositions. The rest of my time I have given for my studies alone. Although I may need to spend some time with friends watching movies & all that to ease my burden.

I might've been complaining, but at least I love what I'm doing now. On Monday I actually didn't feel very productive in my duty in Pasig City General Hospital. I recently got this huge canker sore in my buccal area & became worst when I treated it with folklore treatments, having more mouth sores in the gums beneath & beside it.

It was a nuisance in my activities. I also got some papillomas in the tip of my tongue & it hurts when I try to touch it with my tongue. My very annoying sores & papule are actually normal especially when I tend to acquire stress from too much pressure in exams. Although it's my first time to get a sore in my buccal cavity- I usually get it in the gums beneath the incisors area. It sucks that I didn't take extra care & precaution in my recent sore,  so on Sunday I can't even talk or eat because of the trauma when I applied salt.

So I was like stressed out on my first hospital duty; I didn't have my pen or my i.d. with me, I forgot to bring my face mask, I can't even control my muscle spasms during the whole activity, I tend to get headaches when I move & my eyes are adjusting slowly, & I can't eat breakfast during our break because my mouth really is in pain. I hated myself yesterday.

So I get to rest & prepared myself the night before my duty. I actually researched on the actions of the drugs just to prepare if something happens. I got my things ready, not forgetting the things I needed & slept earlier, thinking about nice things while suffering on the pain the reaction of the medicine from the sores is giving me.

I woke up a little refreshed, but at least my mouth doesn't hurt much in the morning. So I got up & un-stressed myself lol. It worked though, cause I actually enjoyed the second day of my duty. Even though I handled three patients & today was more toxic than the first one, I really had a good therapeutic communication with the patients & learned (or reviewed) so much from some nursing skills. It's sad that I get to see them suffer through the pain, but at least I know they'll get through all these. I also enjoyed my clustermates' company... which neutralized the stressful environment.

I was dead tired when I got home. On top of that, I don't have the appetite to ingest something so I just took a little nap & got busy visiting some interesting blogs. Hence the sudden emotional post I've made awhile ago.

However, I still need to study a lot of things for tomorrow's preliminary exams. I just hate it when I take a test without any day off whatsoever to study, but I admit when it comes to hard times, you must be a little tougher & stronger than who you were before.

I'm just happy I get to avoid emotional stress when I look at pictures of my Aunt Gina's cute little angels! I miss them so much though! I also want to welcome my newest blog readers from Austria, Guam, & my dream place, Greece! Thank you guys! :)

Have a safe & productive week everyone. I know I would. God bless & take care now.
 

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne :D

158th Song- You're Leading Me On

You’re Leading Me On

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

What are we now?

Don’t want to see you but can’t take my eyes from you

(You lead me)

What are we now?

You have to answer my question before I could fall

(You lead me)

(Chorus)

I don’t have any defense

Any amends

Try to keep myself apart

I don’t know what to do

What am I to you?

Tell me before I could say

You lead me on

What are we now?

I haven’t noticed that this will gonna go to this

You lead me

What are we now?

Let me decide if I inculcated all your lies

You lead me

(Repeat Chorus)

I don’t care anymore

Give me the air I need

Save me by telling me

You’re leading me on

I can’t take it anymore

Try to break apart

It’s not what I want, it’s not what I need

Save me by telling me if you’re leading me on

You lead me on

What are we now?

I did my everything, still in the end, you won’t speak

Don’t you lead me on

(Repeat Chorus)

You’re leading me on

Pharmaduation

Hey everyone! I couldn't help to not post something today after all those blog visits from different countries! Thank you everyone!

Though I have a feeling I'm boring you too much. Okay! You have the right to roll your eyes & utter some indistinct words. But the thought of just dropping by is such a big deal for me already. Loser! lol... & at least some people are enjoying it! Yay!

Anyways, I couldn't be any more prouder to my good ol' high school friends Rachelle Ang & Celine Leonardo for receiving their diplomas earlier today. I kinda envy them actually but I really am glad that they've made it thru college so fast that they even made it look so easy! I'm just sad that I don't get to have the chance to watch the graduation itself cause of my class today.. & tomorrow & the next day, & the next week until the next year haha.

Speaking of classes, I'm really starting to love Audit class. Even though it sucks that it's during the weekend, you're gonna love how much you're learning (or re-learning) & inculcating all those things you need for the future. Especially that I've learned so much in Pharmacology today! It's kinda funny how I seemed to learned more today than a whole semester of that subject during my third year college. Having a good teacher really is a big factor, right? At least I'm facing my weakness now! Kudos!

The thing I hate so much today is not being able to eat well today cause of a huge & painful mouth ulcer in my buccal cavity & two papillomas on my tongue. It's been annoying me the whole day & I can't even eat properly. Can I like cut it then maybe regenerate a new tongue? lol I wish...

Anyways, I need to study for my exams tomorrow in Pharmacology. I need to prepare if I have to make a good major drug-kicking score. haha.. Woot! At least I kinda maintain the length I need to have. God bless & have a good week everyone! :)
  

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne :D

Rain Reign!

I've had my fair share of good & bad mornings. What you don't know is that I've been having great mornings for weeks now...

Like today; I woke up feeling like a mess cause I was up all night studying... yeah, not true. I was actually reading some sites about Michael Jackson faking his death. I know it's kinda mean for me to believe that maybe MJ didn't die at all, but when you actually read the posts from this site, the pieces actually fit, making it a perfect getaway for something Michael wants to escape from. I still respect him though, so whether he makes an entrance in the spotlight again in the next few years, then I'll be cheering for him.

Anyways, I finished reading the site at three in the morning, plus I'm still suffering from this annoying flu so I'm not really feeling school today. Good thing God understands us that we really need to take a break sometimes. Thank you Father! :)

I'm constantly loving the rain. While most people are hating it, I really do appreciate the rain.

First, don't you know that the rain actually prevents the spread of the AH1N1 virus? Yep, when the outbreak happened, it didn't really make a lot of scene here in the Philippines. Why? Because if you remember why we had constant raining during the summer, is because God cares for us so much that He doesn't want us to get infected, hence the rain.

& as I have said before, the rain is like the one that cleanse the earth. We walked on this planet for such a long time but never did I see someone mop the ground for no reason (because it's actually a crazy thing to do too lol), so I appreciate raining for that. Rain rocks!
 
Anyways, I've been having some weird moments & actions lately. It's because I'm kinda fitting all the pieces to make a perfect three part story that I've been making.. or imagining since I was in grade school. Yeah! I actually started as a writer but I'm better at composing... I think.
  

Oh yeah, many were kinda sending me some messages complaining about my previous picture (blurry) about my little angels... Aunt Gina's babies! So here's a pic of them in good quality. I miss them so much! Aren't they the cutest?!!! No wonder I was so devastated when I didn't get to have the chance to see them before they board the plane... I get to see them in December though!

 

 

  
Today, it's my dad's birthday! Happy birthday dad! Hope you're doing okay there & I wish you good health & more years so we could have more father & son bondings like fishing (something I never did), teaching me how to drive (next year when you get home, please?!), reading the same book since we're both bookworms, complaining to mom about our constant pain in our left scapular area (since I got that from you anyways), eating different street foods, bragging about how much our physical appearance is improving, & of course, celebrating our birthdays together in the future. We love you dad! Happy birthday again! :)

So I'm gonna hang out with my buddies here in YM for awhile then I'm off to do responsible adult stuff haha... my song for today is Angels by David James Archuleta, though I kinda hate him for not replying to my tweets. How hard is it to make a 140 character-statement just to show appreciation for a fan's efforts? I really promise myself to be a lot appreciative in the future.
 
My verse for today is really good. It's found on the book of Galatians 6:9. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. God bless & take care everyone! Just wanna say hi to my newest blog visitors from Guam & Canada! I sure do appreciate it so much! Love you guys!

   

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne :D

157th Song- Need To Let You Go

Need To Let You Go

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

Why’d you always have to agree with me?

Never even telling me what you feel

I know those lies hidden in those eyes

But baby, if you tell me, I would surely cry

& baby, if you tell me everything

I wouldn’t worry if you really feel the need

To wake up, to think it’s just a dream

If you’re never really there, then I should set you free

(Chorus)

It’s hard on me that it is to you

Though I felt it’s wrong, I’ll let you go

Honestly, you’ve never been openly

So don’t you ask me what is wrong

I need to let you go

Falling down, woke up saw your face

Ask me what is happening? That is the case

You’re never sure, cause love is what you know

Didn’t even try to talk this thing, it bothers me the most

& baby, how’d you know?

All the yes & no’s in my thoughts

If you said I do, I don’t

Tell me the things I never really like

To go, didn’t even say goodbye

I could’ve died

(Repeat Chorus)

  

I’ll close my eyes again

& for sure, you’re gone

You walked away

I didn’t know how I just felt

(Repeat Chorus 2x)

Maybe, now you’re happy

Just another fairytale coming to end

Supportive Therapy

I did not see that coming...

It's been awhile since I took off from all the problems, events, gatherings & tribulation & cultivated myself to be physically, emotionally, spiritually & academically better. It was like losing my entity by annihilating myself in the process. Before I snapped out, I ended up here in front of the computer, talking about the last few months I've spent with the few friends that I have left.

So I've suffered enough by being the laughing stock of the whole school while patching up all the broken holes I've created by my mishaps. There were some moments that I've felt alone; although they say they support me, I had a feeling it was just an easy way of telling me 'I'm not a part of this case, so count me out.'

It was totally okay for me since, after all, I really do not want the people I know to be involved in my mistakes, especially that I have to face the consequences alone. The thing that just hurts me the most was the fact that I was there when they need someone & when their world came crashing down. It feels like they're partying all night & enjoying their lives when I'm suffering here. & once I get to finally stand up, they'll drag me down below their level & I didn't complain one bit.

Eventually, I forgot all about it & figured to move on with my life cause it's the right thing to do & there's no any other way anymore. Some of them told me that everything will be okay, that sooner or later I could fly even amidst the opposing winds. That's actually better than having no time, even one minute, to ask me how I was doing.

I moved forward, just like any normal kid should do. If I have to correct all the wrong things I've done, then so be it. After that, everything was new again. It's like discovering a whole new world, & starting a life free from anything that harmed you in the past.

However, how much I was starting to enjoy the life in my new school now, didn't actually result to good news from my former college friends. As I was touched by the love of God, friendship turmoils became apparent in my old college life again.

I never needed to go back to these previous dark moments of my life, thus I wanted to be one of the students whom they would say all those money my family have spent for my education was all worth it in the end. I haven't asked for anything when I'm doing a good job, I'm more than happy to reward myself by inculcating & comparing the times I had when I was still focused on school & how much I needed to change back then.

But what these people are doing to me now was like taking me away from the newest responsibilities I have. They get angry when I don't show up & get angry when I don't communicate much. So what happens to that word again... support?

I said my departure wouldn't change anything, but how you tend to look on the negative side of life even though we all know that optimism is so much better, how you think of me as a bad person for not being there when you need someone, how you seem to be going to different parties & enjoy the night while I'm here, praying that these fever would go away, & how I was alone thinking about a way to make my burden a little less heavy.

Wow! Some support you have.
  
I'm sorry if I've been under the weather lately, It's just that some people doesn't seem to care enough to others, selfish is the word. God bless & have a nice day. Take care now!
  

Shaping in, shipping out, Allan :D

156th Song- Love Myths & Allegories (10th Album Title)

Love Myths & Allegories

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

They say you have to put her picture on your cell phone

& then you have to wait two or more weeks

Get distracted, don’t think about her

& soon she’ll come to you

You can make them jealous

Act like you’re a player

While every night you pray that you can get her

It takes some time for her to realize

I know I needed just a little more time

(Chorus)

But why can’t I make her fall in love with me?

Are these just love myths & allegories?

Even tried to take a strand of hair of hers

To complete my voodoo doll ritual

I don’t even know why I can just try

Try to ask her out than fill my heart with whys

But I’m scared enough to wake up in a dream

Are these love myths & allegories?

They say you have to carve your names on a tree nearby

They add that you can be the soul mate of her very eyes

Just send a message, give her a letter

& soon she’ll come to you
  

You can make them jealous

Pull yourself together

Now you’re waiting here while nothing’s happening

Maybe she’d broke up in her perfect boyfriend

Yes, she’s gonna come to me (To me, to me)

(Repeat Chorus)
  

So much for the flowers, wrote anonymous

He took the credit, said he’s giving more to her

Now it’s clear, I can’t just wait for her

Until I she finds a better some another

(Instrumental)

(Repeat Chorus 2x)

Now I don’t believe in love myths & allegories

Familingectomy

Hey guys! What a stressful but brilliant start of the week I've got, primarily my hospital duties, adventures & regression moments all jam-packed in just two days.

So I've been out from the blogosphere yesterday & even took a break from the virtual world because of all the errands I was juggling. I was kinda dizzy when mom woke me up at eight in the morning to buy her something from a store faraway from home.
  

The dancer, the pilot & the father lol

   

You see, I haven't had any early retirement for the last couple of weeks now cause of school works &, of course, procrastinations. On monday, after I was dismissed early from our duty cause of the strike, we went to Quezon City to have dinner with my aunt & bond with the two cutest little angels whom we call Anton & Macky. :)

Those guys were old for their age. Well not really, but you don't get to see nine or ten-year olds downloading different iPhone applications, dancing like Michael Jackson or reading Twilight, making three pages essay, or even parking a car! everyday, right?
 
I played chess & chinese checkers with those two. I enjoyed it cause they really  know a thing or two in those games, though Anton's kinda used to playing board games from the computer. It's funny how you enjoy playing with kids- it lets you know that your inner child still exists. Regression isn't really that bad, you guys.

I never really had a little brother. I mean, I do have one but I can't baby a seventeen-year old?! I already have a little sister to spoil but I also want a baby brother like Anton or Macky. They actually let me forget how many things I should be finishing, but playing with them decreases my worries & burdens.

I only had a few hours with them & I felt like they're already family, they are actually. They'll be going home to the States though, so too bad I don't get to spend more time with them. I constantly looked at my phone last night when we're in duty to check those cute little faces & it's sad that I'm not gonna be seeing them & aunt Gina for a few months.

At least I'll have the chance to go with them to the airport later after my class, meaning I could say goodbye to them & have a lot of picture taking later. Argghhh! I really want a baby brother. Make me one now! lol Guess time will tell.
 
Yesterday, I didn't get so much rest nor preparation for my last duty in Rizal Provincial Hospital. I went to buy something for my mom at eight o'clock, picked up the camera from an office & hurried back to the house. I hadn't had any time to rest so I immediately ate & mom didn't even give me extra money for my effort haha, but it's okay though. Rewards will be given when you at the least are expecting it.
 
I left the house at 12:30 & arrived to the hospital at exactly two o'clock. Two of my clustermates, Randy & Rainier, scrubbed in for an appendectomy in a pediatric patient like an hour later. I haven't had the appetite to ingest something but I was really parched.
 
At eight-ish Jerha & I scrubbed in for a Bilateral Tubal Ligation or BTL procedure. I felt like an idiot cause I'm shaking during the preparation, & even got confused when people were talking at the same time when I was trying to insert the glove from the doctor's hand.
 
At least I've learned so much though, especially the instruments I already have forgotten during Health Care 2, & it's officially my first time to scrub in cause I was just an assistant retracting the bladder & suctioning the excess blood in my caesarian section case. I also didn't know that stages is another term for pathology of a disease. I hate that I studied that of the appendicitis & didn't even know what a stage exactly means...
 
Well, at least I've learned so much from Sir Virgilio Zafra, he actually has a technique that boosts your knowledge in the Operating Room do's & dont's. Thank you sir for making our clinical skills better than before. I really need to practice harder this time if I wanna be a nurse next year.
 
So to summarize this thing up, since aunt Gina's getting vertigo from reading long posts haha, it's just so nice to be back on track. It's not really about the way I wanna be for now, but it's about the way I should be for the future.

Verse for today comes from the book of Hebrews 4:12: For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. I've read two straight verses from Hebrews now & I'm getting interested on reading but I'm still reading Mark so I'll just wait. My song for today is Undiscovered by james Morrison.
 
Before I forget I wanna say hi to my new blog readers from Indonesia & Singapore. Many were sending me suggestions from my comment section in all of my posts. I'm trying to simplify it where you could just enter your name & email address & you're good to go. Subscription process where you put the same thing on Mark My Mouth does not change though.
 
I also apologize to those who are reading my blog posts in Allanned! & is asking me why I'm not updating it unlike LJ. I actually make my post here but I keep forgetting posting the same thing on Allanned! so I'm really sorry but I'm gonna make it up to you, I promise. God bless, take care & have a nice Wednesday! I'm gonna prepare for school now :)
  

Shaping in, shipping out, Allan :D

Escape...ular Pain

I wasn't supposedly posting a blog at this hour today, but duty's cancelled & I'm celebrating here. lol... not really.

I guess I'm gonna be joining our family dinner later anyway this evening with our aunt who's coming home to the States this week. I feel ambivalent though, cause I just wasted a couple of hours & money to go there & I didn't even get a case or something before we were dismissed. & the ride going back & forth was so exhausting!

My left scapula's been acting again, & this time it really really hurts even when I'm not writing or anything.

Actually, it's been acting up since I was in third year college but I just ignored it cause it didn't really hurt that much unlike now that I can't even finish a hundred point long test & Preliminary exam without experiencing this diffused pain that's bothering me for months now.

Not only that, it's been extending to my neck now. I just hope it's not gonna turn out to something bad. If I have the time I'll be having an X-ray & maybe consult an orthopedic. Please let it be just mechanical pain!

Speaking about the long exam & Preliminary exam, I really didn't quite did my best. I mean, I didn't even study for it but I'm really lucky I passed the long exam. Unfortunately, most of the people who took the Preliminary exams didn't pass, & I'm one of them.

I'm not really devastated or sad though, for me I mean. At least I have a good record in my quizzes & that long exam, & my Prelim exam actually helped me to not be a potential candidate for the Audit from another branch of my school which is so faraway from my house. That five-minute ride going to school will turn to a fifty-minute ride if I'll have my Audit class there.

Okay, I browsed a couple of neck & scapula pain & it actually involves some nerves... yikes! No! I'll be positive about this.

Anyways, despite my personal celebration due to a normal grade I'll be having (I hope), it's actually sad some of the people I've met there didn't really made the cut, & they even studied for the exams. However, I know everything's gonna be fine & it's just a class to train our minds to be more on the analytical side. No worries guys!

I'm also receiving some updates from our office & it's good to hear that my direct upline will be purchasing his first car at the end of the month. We patched things up last week & I figured hating isn't good for me, even for everyone anymore. Well, I'm just so happy that he's earning that much now! His hardwork actually paid off.

That got me thinking. I wish I could've stayed a little longer just to earn some money cause I'm getting tired & guilty taking my allowance from my mom who's working hard for us to have a good & descent life. But I can't go back now cause I'm really, really so damn busy & I'm so focused on my studies.

I actually gained some trauma from the experiences I had whenever I go home late at night & try to find some excuses to not go to school in the morning. Just had an epiphany- never thought I would turn out to be that guy. So I'll just prioritize my studies first while looking up to those who are now experiencing a life-changing moment.

It's raining outside... thank you Lord! Call me weird but I really love the rain (when I don't have to go outside lol), I do! It's like a way of cleansing the earth we've messed up, & it really calms my nerves.

Wait, I just remembered a funny moment in our class- actually, one of my classmates is complaining about the annoying heat, & everyone was suggesting going to cold places when I said we should all go to Riyadh! Everyone looked at me weird. "Eh di ba mas mainit dun?" I suggested that place so you could actually appreciate the heat here in the Philippines & we're just laughing our crazy heads off. Don't get me wrong, Riyadh is a beautiful place though. :)

I've also been having a good quiet time talking to God. He's giving me the strength to take all the battles in life. I'm just thankful He granted my prayer & didn't make me go down with a flu awhile ago. Maybe later tonight I'm finally gonna write a gospel song. I just found out what Jars of Clay means from that band, & the symbol of fish that was actually the one people are using to talk about Jesus Christ from the past. Cool huh?

Okay, so I'm really looking forward to dinner later- wish it wouldn't be postponed again like last night. I've also been finishing some of the old compositions that I haven't finished, though I'm still not posting some of my new songs here. I'm gonna head to bed now for a quick rest- don't worry, mom's gonna wake me up afterwards lol. Song for today is Sweet Dreams by Beyonce. Cool video!

How about you? What happened to your day today? God bless & take care everyone! God loves us all even if we don't feel it sometimes.

Shaping in, shipping out, Allan :D

Sorry doesn't seem to be the hardest word...

Okay, so I'm gonna make a quick post just to update you guys even though I should've been studying for our Audit Preliminary exams today at eight o'clock in the morning... what the heck?! I'm even playing Restaurant City now. lol
 
Anyways, I really felt awful last night & highly guilty not showing up at our dinner with my three high school best friends. I missed dinner & entertainment with them cause of my Audit class.

It really is a fun class for me, but it's too much energy-consuming. After I went home to check & make sure my grades from the tests we had are recorded & problem-free, I went straight to bed just to take a little nap. Now I know I suck at power naps. lol
 
I woke up at nine o'clock in the morning & felt so refreshed, then I looked at the windows & it's already dark outside! I checked my phone which I was charging the whole time I was napping & there were like ten missed calls I've received & a dozen of messages asking where the heck I am. I quickly stood up, feeling the adrenalin rush as I was going to the bathroom for a quick shower while making a text message. I think I kinda frightened my mom from that stunt.
  
But just as I was turning on the showers, my body quickly gave up chasing time. I erased the message about going there asap & changed it to an apology. I still have tons of lectures to read for my preliminary exams for Audit & though I really wanted & needed to hang out with them so bad, I guess I felt bad just missing out.
 
So I planned to study the whole night instead. However, I wasn't really feeling good so I picked up my Bible... actually, my little sister's Bible for children & read all of Jesus Christ's parables. I kinda like the one with the widow & the judge which is all about praying, the other one about the shepherd & his one hundred sheep & the other one about a servant who owes a large sum of money to a rich man which talked about asking for forgiveness & doing the opposite thing to those who have wronged him (technically, it's not really 'forgive & forget' but more like 'forgive & be forgiven'). It really calmed my nerves after reading the parables.
 
Just to empty my mind while inculcating Jesus' teachings, I just did all of the chores I wasn't supposed to be doing for my study time, clean the bedroom & shared a parable (the one with the prayer & the judge) to my little sister. Though she's not really 100% having fun, I've still felt the presence of our Lord as I was sharing it to her.

Because of that, I already picked up my Bible- it's really nice that I have a good Bible even though it's translated into King James version, though I personally wanted that version years ago than the NIV, I don't know why, but it sounds more interesting reading the KJV instead. It has also a feature- it's like a guide about where, when & how to read the Bible. Then I started reading the book of Mark which is like a fast-paced story made for an impatient audience & focuses more on the miracles Jesus Christ have done.
 
Anyways, I've read the first three chapters & it's really amazing how Jesus Christ shared the Gospel with intellectual words, & how He healed the sick people from that time.
 
I tried to study again but it seems like I have to retire now, so I got up, brushed my teeth (I sound like a kid lol), turned the alarm at three in the morning, & went to sleep after a good conversation with God.
 
I'm not really putting up a show by saying I'm reading the Bible just so people could tell that I'm religious or to prove I'm better, no. I just really want you guys to try reading the word of God. It really gives you a feeling of contentment & all the hate you've been carrying will really vanish. That's what happened to me awhile ago. Because of that, I texted the people whom I had unpleasant moments with & just said sorry not because I had to but because I wanted to... from that moment I felt at peace. Sorry isn't really that hard when you know everything will be better than having to hide yourself from your mistakes. After some conversation with Mhae through text, I dozed off.

I woke up at like 2:30 in the morning so I could start studying & get to talk to my high school friends, if they're still awake. Crappy YM doesn't work this morning but Chellang dropped me a tweet saying she was still awake so we ended up talking on Twitter lol. We just had our first Tweetersation (I love inventing stuff with Twitter) there until she said she's gonna retire now while I'm just scanning through my notes. I also received a good verse today from Christ Notes from the book of John.

I thought about not sharing it to all my virtual network communities cause I have this feeling that people will just roll their eyes on this one, & that I don't want to be accused as a false follower- sharing the word today but is actually sinning. However, I remembered (just now actually) reading the parable about the mustard seed & the story about a servant who invited the normal (or not really rich) people after the king heard that the people who were originally invited made some excuses just to turn down the invitation. I also remembered the book of 1 Corinthians chapter 13.

The mustard seed, based on my memory, was about our obligation to share the Gospel of our Lord so you would spiritually multiply & be saved before Jesus' second coming. About the king with the servant, it basically talks about how God doesn't really push people unto believing His word cause He gave us free will, & it is our decision to follow God & make Him our Lord & Savior.

After remembering those parables, I decided to share the verse on Facebook anyway. I really want you guys to understand that the Bible is our weapon from all those non-believers whom we can share the good news with & also the answer to all our questions.
 
Start by reading some verses according to different categories- just search for a guide in the internet, I'm sure there's a lot of it. If you want you could also read the books filled with beautiful poems like Psalms, Proverbs & Ecclesiastes. Okay, so it's not really the length I really planned for today's post but I'm just so happy & eager to share this with you & update all of you guys.
 
I just wanna say hi to my readers from United Arab Emirates & the Philippines. You guys were actually the constant visitors for this week so thank you for the support. Song for today is To Be With You by David Archuleta (I was tweeting with him awhile ago & can't help but listen to his songs). Verse for today is John 14:21- "Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him." God bless, take care & have a nice day everyone!
  

Shaping in, shipping out, Allan :D

Weirdness Wannabe

Once you finally get a hang of it- how it works & all that cycle stuff, people started talking about your personality.
  
It's really annoying how you tend to be the 'shiny new toy' when you transfer schools & ended up sitting with a group of strangers. People look at you differently, define you differently, & even when you think you've become a part of the flow, let's just say ripples are different from turbulence.

I guess I was lucky enough to have a classmate that was also my previous classmate from our former school a year ago. Before the start of this school year, I promised myself to be the Allan I was before, & tell you what I became even more thirsty for knowledge than I previously was, became more sensitive to my body by losing a lot of weight & sleeping before twelve o'clock, & never felt so spiritually-inclined (especially during Thursdays & every mornings) because of Bible study & when I'm reading the Bible.

I'm happy & contented- I'm not really earning from business now but the feeling of having to achieve your dreams in the future really tries to put me back to the ground. I also didn't care much about making new friends now (though I'm not rejecting them) because I'm really into studying. It's actually nice to have a couple of people as your friends- talking about school stuff & interesting subjects, especially that the classmates I'm kinda hanging out with doesn't really fit in the group.

Actually, that's the friends I'm looking for- spontaneous, doesn't need to act cool, & talk about things that normal people don't know about but aren't deviant at all.
  
However, people actually said I'm weird. I was talking to my mom the other day & she said one of her classmates before noticed that I've been hanging with some friends who they call weird.

I actually just kinda laughed it off, because my plan is doing great- being able to be completely avoidable by hanging out with some people they judge, having a backpack so worn out & look so soiled people will think I'm a loser (though I believe I am lol), & being quiet during breaks just doodling or finding some new words from my Bantam.
  
To tell you the truth, I believe that I am weird in so many levels. Being actually weird really separates me from the group but I really don't care, cause the things that I'm doing that people usually don't do like writing songs, blogging, reading, drawing or doodling, listening to the songs I love instead of the songs that are hitting the charts now (not really though), really makes me a lot happier than I was being normal. Those are the things that I find pleasurably & interestingly. It's not really a lot different from other people but I like to think that I am.
  

& besides, weird is cool! :)

  

Just to clear things out, I just wanna be the weird, nerdy & spontaneous kid now just to focus on my academics... having a mother as your classmate during Saturdays & Sundays really helps too, but I'm happy I'm spending time with her. I still hang out with my best friends from high school, still talk to my previous classmates & friends from college & socialize in the virtual world.
  
I'm doing so great in my studies now that I'm always staying out of trouble (not posting some videos that will involve many people or staying out late), & I think I'm becoming more mature that I was back then.
  
It really helps when you have a good not-really-broken-now family, having a good mom to guide you throughout your life, good sets of friends that protect me from any misconceptions or misunderstandings, good professors that will not only shape you academically, but will entirely haul you to be the greatest person you can be, my God who's my Alpha, Emmanuel & Omega, & Jesus Christ who still washes all my sins away before I could ask for forgiveness.
  
If you think about it, those things actually keep me normal, making me a weirdness wannabe lol. I'm positive, still prospectophobic (that's a good thing for me now- makes you care about the future), & look & feel a lot better than before. Who says you can't regress & progress at the same?
  
Song for today is Ordinary People by John Legend. God bless, take care & have a good, safe & productive week everyone! :)
  

Shaping in, shipping out, Allan :D

Extrapyramidal System

"It's like buying vinegar from your house to a store; I travelled through the obstacles just to get there, but eventually, I would still go back to where I belong..." -Allan Aldrinne Leyva
  
Took me three years to finally arrived home, at least I made it though. Good morning everyone! Figured to update you guys while I'm taking a break from everything... & by everything, I mean academics haha
  
Anyways, though I only slept for like three hours, I still feel so great even though I'm coming down with a flu or something. That's how I maintain homeostasis- I couldn't get a week off from having a cold, but I don't gradually get a fever or something, was it wrong to have that kind of balance? lol.
  
When I was lying awake in my bed ready to seize the day, I've thought about the motion of the changes in my life & how it's getting back to normal, for now though. I don't get to spend the whole day being spontaneous after classes like I was before, & it's better to be driving on a straight road for a change.
  
These past few weeks, maybe the most random thing I've done was going out with my lovely ladies on a school night (Actually, everyday is a school night according to my schedule), & now we're actually planning to have dinner somewhere, followed by our scheduled 'Hot Seat Live' on a Saturday night- it's just a talk show that we created for our entertainment purposes for our almost-everyday conference.
  
I really like how my days seem to be like high school again, except that we have the weekend off. But seriously, I'm happy how things are getting pretty kind of good being a not-so-hardworking student & hanging out with my high school friends again.
  
I still have no idea why I haven't had a nice & long conversation with them for like three years. Maybe I was living the college life too much that I forgot the people I've been with when I was in high school.
  
Maybe the recent accident & the change of atmosphere is also a wake up call to finally get back to the people who entered my life when I was desperately seeking for friends during high school. Hmm.. am I really that desperate? lol
  
I really have to pat myself on the back for maintaining my social life while studying. I've recently thought about focusing on my business again, but I just can't squeeze it in my jam-packed schedule. I know people will tell me that I'm making excuses just to avoid it, but I had an epiphany a couple of days ago as my personal reason- it's not that I don't want to do the business, surely I still want to continue it, but whenever I do something that's out of my activities, I eventually get into trouble for the wrong reasons.
  
I think God is trying to tell me that I have to make my last year of college a constant & predictable one, & that I must focus on what's important to the people around me, & not just to me.
  
Even though I'm lying low on the earning side for now, it's still gonna be worth it when I graduate, & much more worthy when I passed the board exams & able to work in the States & maybe chase a dream that was waiting for me for a long, long time now.
   
Oh yeah! Just in case you're wondering, (gonna make this explanation simple) an extrapyramidal system is located at the brain & it's like responsible for our fine motor movements or gracefulness in our body motions.
  
How is it related to my post? It's more like I was suffering from extrapyramidal disorders before & that I couldn't seem to control every movement my life is trying to make, & it seems like God treated these involuntary & irregular motions & He just let me focus into a single flow which I will be benefiting in the future.
  
Thank you for the constant blog readers all across the globe. You know who you are guys, but I don't really know you that much haha, so it'll be so much better if you could drop your name in the comment box just beneath a post or go to Mark My Mouth & say what you have to say. Any comments, suggestions or violent reactions are accepted. lol
  
Also, I wanna say hi to the newest members of the LJ & Allanned! family, the new blog visitors from Chile! Looks like Mexico is spreading the LJ word to the South Americans.
  
A shout-out to my twin brother (when it comes to destiny), David Archuleta. I just read his blog & it's actually his fault that I'm doing a post right now haha, & I really need a night with him & his music again so bad.
  
Of course, I couldn't forget giving thanks to my three lovely angels- Sweetie pie Rachelle Ang, my partner in crime Mhae Co, & my stuff toy Bearatz' hubby, Celine Leonardo! (Cel's gonna be so furious when she read this) I love you guys!
  
God bless & have an LJ day, alright?! Song for today is A Little Too Not Over You by the one & only David James Archuleta! Verse for today is on the book of Deuteronomy 30:16- "For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess." It's a nice verse, right?! :)
  
Thank you everyone! :) (This post is kinda long, don't yah think? haha)

      

Shaping in, shipping out, Allan :D

P.OR

Hey guys! I'm just having some free time off before school so I figured to update my journal for everyone to see! lol

Okay, so if you're following me on Twitter or Plurk you might already know how I spent my first two days of hospital duty in a faraway place, meaning I had to be alone & emotional for an hour & a half just to go there. Seriously, I tend to get blank whenever I travel alone. It's pretty good cause my contradicting personality wants to have a quiet atmosphere sometimes, though I could really use some company every now & then.

I'm just really lucky my OR duty doesn't suck- I've met a lot of friends including Diego, Grace, Simang, Aron Mark & my classmates Randy & Rainier, viewed some major & minor procedures there like appendectomy & debridement of a diabetic patient's foot, had a minor case on the second day of duty (Dilatation & Curettage) & got to spend some time reading & checking out some big words from me' old Bantam.

I've also experienced riding a public vehicle running like a Ferrari for the first time! lol, & the scary part was we're actually on top of the mountains! Kinda think of it, that driver really values his time as he swerved on both lanes... making that one hour & thirty minute-ride only thirty minutes or less.

Last night, before I went to sleep I thought about how people say they support & love you, but once you get used to a different setting away from them, they tell you how you seem to ignore them or how much you couldn't lend a hand on something particularly, my business. That's where I'm confused- I did ask for some help before but I was always turned down from my upline (like how I begged him to give me a downline on my left side of the group & he said he's not responsible for giving me one), & I also gave my time to help some of my downlines (if they could remember how I ran back & forth just to talk to the invites from the office & to McDonald's to explain how our business goes). All that I have done just to prove I am willing to help even if I'm not earning anything in the latter part of my business.

But once you get to detach yourself from something just to prioritize your future, people complain about how useless one can be. I apologize if I'm not there to support you guys now, but let's just say I wasn't even supported when I was starting out like the rest of you guys. The fact that some of your uplines didn't also show their faces up in the office, it's because they complained about a mismanagement from a certain upline & I was put on a pedestal where I have to protect all of you guys from any negative comments from our upline who boasts about how he expanded his group without any help whatsoever. Talk about gratitude, huh?

To the people who always say that I'm not there when they were at their lowest- just  think about how much I suffered from the last couple of months & how much I was devastated to suffer the consequences. I'm not always there because I started thinking about myself for a change while I'm valuing the friendship that we have left. If you guys talk about how bad I am for not being there all the time, then what do you have to call yourselves when you were enjoying your lives partying all night, while I'm alone & not able to move on?

"FINE! Magsama n nga lng kau LAHAT! Pareparehas lng naman kau eh." What makes you a lot different from us anyway?

    
It's not really how I thought this post would even go, but one thing's for sure, I am more messed up than those other people you might know, but the only thing that separates me from them is that I don't see life as an obstacle, focusing on the rejections & people or things that they have lost, but I see life as a road you have to travel with God & with the people who really love you to be a better person in the future.
   
I'm gonna prepare for school now, hope this would be a good & productive day! Belated Happy Fourth of July in the United States! lol Sorry for the late greeting though. Oh yeah! I want to say hi to my blog visitors from the United Arab Emirates & my constant readers from Saudi Arabia & America! Yay! You guys are so awesome! Song for today: Green Light by John Legend.
  

Shaping in, shipping out, Allan :D