From '09 To '10

This morning, I received a text message from my high school friend of mine- 'If you could undo a day that happened this year, would you want to spend that day the way you did it again or would you do it differently?' 

It's not really the type of New Year greeting I would have expected to receive (lol), but the question actually hit me... a lot. What day could've possibly made everything right? What day should I've spent differently?

Although I did start this year with wonderful & life changing expectations, there will always be a way God will show me to prevent me from falling off my course. I've always been thankful for God's decisions for my life & I really love Him for setting up my path that I should take. 
  
This year, however, was very different. This year, the things that I never imagined happening to me did happen. This year, I've lost almost everything that I value. This year, it was seriously a hell of a coaster ride. Trifles can cause so much tribulation, & my life became a ticking bomb.

I could've undo my actions from... (insert the words Youtube, transferring schools, networking, losing some trust, losing my dignity, losing friends, losing everything... just plain everything)...

But then again, without these events I could've turned into someone more selfish, more arrogant, more black-hearted & more self-centered than I have become. It wasn't supposed to go this far, & there are a lot of people that contributed to my actions & character, but in the end I know there's no one else to blame but myself.

Maybe it wasn't the right question for me to answer or it wasn't the right question at all. The question is more like what the type of person I should've turned into if all that events didn't happen to me at all. I was imagining of a monster...

When I think about it, it seems like I was pretty blessed after all. It's not the usual blessings you get everyday, but I believe these blessings in disguise are designed to bring more happiness, simplicity & contentment in the long run.

Now let me have this virtual toast for everyone who passed through the dark tunnel of life & into the light. Cheers for a more prosperous & brighter New Year! Now it's time for me to write the bad stuff I don't want to happen this year in a piece of paper & burn it- my own yearly-tradition! Thank you God for another fruitful LJ year!

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne :D

Bye Brittany...

The world mourned on the 20th of December when a news broke out that Brittany Murphy died due to cardiac arrest at the age of 32. It was one of the most devastating news this year, since it's Christmas time & everyone seems enjoying the season.

I received the news on that very day when I was surfing my Facebook on my mobile phone & one of my friends posted a shoutout 'R.I.P. Brittany Murphy' & it got my eyes fully dilated cause it wasn't the usual news that you see everyday. I asked her if this was true since I couldn't fathom the fact that she went away. Unfortunately, it was.

It seems like I'm just like one of the regular bloggers who instantly become fans when some famous star passes away. Trust me, I'm not. I couldn't even accept it for days- the reason why I couldn't post a blog about it. However, when I was reflecting on how I have been losing a lot of 'who's' & 'what's' in my life lately, I thought about her.

It's pretty stupid when I told you guys that Brittany & I were close (It looks stupid in text as well lol). Again I'm not some people who became fans with someone whenever he or she passes away; I show my deep condolences but I don't pretend I'm a fan of Heath Ledger or Michael Jackson etc., although I appreciate their works.

But Brittany Murphy. Sigh.

I became her fan because of the movie Clueless. Yup! One of those flicks that likely started a pop culture about teenage royalty & status quo type of movies. It was one of my favorite flicks of all time & I really like her character there. & it didn't stop there...

I really like 'Uptown Girls' & (I betcha don't know this flick) 'Little Black Notebook' where she starred in. That movie was very memorable to me because I was inspired to do blogging & find more opportunities in life when she said 'I believe we write our own stories and each time we think we know the end... we don't.' Plus, it's really a good movie, hands down!

Of course, who couldn't forget her role as 'Gloria' in Happy Feet?! Because of her version of 'Somebody to Love', it actually became part of my playlist on my iPod.

In a way, I actually became close to her. She was like one of those women who can brighten up anyone's day by her smile & her glow. She was like one of the glow-in-the-dark stickers in a dark room, very noticeable.

Life can be very short; sufferings are there but there are more than happiness you could find in it. It's surprising to see someone who has the potential to do more in his or her life pass away. We couldn't blame them, really, for God knows there's a reason for everything that has happened. We couldn't control life or time... & that's sad when you want more from life.

However, the very best we can do is to live a life full of happiness & contentment amidst the sunny or stormy weather. We can live a great life by doing the right thing, appreciating the blessings that you're receiving & try to focus on your goals & to those people who really love & care for you. Don't focus on how much you have been losing, but focus on how much blessings you have been receiving. All in all, when it's time to go, you just know you have lived a great life.

Something I just thought during my reflection. Good times! God bless & an advanced Happy New Year to everyone! More songs coming up this week! Until then, may you rest in peace, Brittany. We love you! See you up there!
  

Shaping in, shipping, out, Aldrinne

191st Song- Past Time

This song should've been my 199th song or something. Since I wrote this song for my friend Lota Laggui & she's been waiting to see the song I wrote for her, I guess it's time to post this song to show my appreciation for following my blog. Enjoy everyone, especially you Lotacris! :)
  

Past Time

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

Radio host, play my songs

I know that you can feel all my emotions

Hold on, why postpone?

I couldn’t breathe enough in this pay phone

Play faster, I’m crying

You know that I’m still walking

Still having my moment

I cannot break apart here

(Chorus)

Why is my song ain’t playing?

I shouldn’t hear your voice explaining

I could’ve seen all the signs

I thought you gave your heart to me

I’ve always been your past time

Radio host, fill my thoughts

I’m still in the process of moving on

Tear drops, don’t you drop

I couldn’t understand what I’m hearing

& feeling, I’m shaking

You get alternative for killing

I thought it’s an ending

Where everything’s what I’m expecting

(Repeat Chorus)

So if you think I’m weak

I’m only starting to turn the wheel

(I’m turning the wheel)

I know that there’s a time

Where I collect all what’s mine

(Repeat Chorus 2x)

Radio host, please play my song

Light-Year

I woke up this morning in a nonchalant but melancholy atmosphere. There was a period of silence- probably the best time to think & remember. I thought about everything that has happened this year.

Trust me, I'm not getting emotional or bitter like a few people you know. It's just my own way of appreciating the glorious moments of greatness & weakness.

God loves me so much, & there can never be anything that can surpass that unconditional love. Sometimes He shows His love by giving me wealth, providing me good health, & protecting me from anything or anyone that could cause me danger.

However, there are times when God shows His love by giving me the problems, sufferings, blasphemies, & crisis with equal or greater importance to my life & character. Those moments of self-destruction have proven to be helpful in my life, amidst the pain & stress my threshold couldn't endure.

Yes, I learned something out of all of it.

If I have to elaborate all of them, it'll be frustrating to me & to all of you readers out there- I mean, do I have to go over all of them again? lol. But seriously though, from that school turmoil, video scandals upto the business blunders, I feel so blessed that I have learned to be a stronger, careful, & wiser person.

Gaining knowledge & experience hasn't really been something that brings a big impact in my life, but when I start reflecting on your life, those things have been the ones that helped me make my everyday decisions.

The decision to live.

The decision to move forward & not look back.

The decision to finish my studies.

  

The decision to turn the right way.

The decision to stay away from what I think is bad.

The decision to be happy.

The decision to love.

The decision to take risks.

The decision to get hurt.

  

The decision to accept challenges.

The decision to avoid mistakes.

The decision to make the most out of life.

The decision to anticipate the problems.

The decision to laugh, cry, or get angry.

The decision to fight.

The decision to remain silent.

The decision to be the person who I want to be.

  

The decision to stand up.

The decision to make a good decision.

Those moments of greatness & failure, thus, have made me a better person. I'm not perfect, but being imperfect makes me one after all. All these things came this year... this year of light. Peace be with all of us. :)

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne

The Ultimate Gift

It's two hours after Christmas & I'm still not feeling tired surfing the internet. I couldn't get to send a text message because the network's all messed up, so I'm leasing my anger by doing a productive Christmas blog post! That's virtual sublimation right there! lol

Anyways, I really enjoyed the annual candlelight ceremony at Cathedral of Praise awhile ago. It was one of the best Christmas presentations that I've ever been in. I really felt the strong presence of God in the church, especially during times of praise & worship.

The world has been used to buying presents for Christmas; it's like a worldwide tradition that Christmas is the time where you expect your loved ones to give you gifts or the other way around. Giving & receiving presents this Christmas became a tradition because it was likely associated to the fact that this day is when God has given the biggest & ultimate gift of all- Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ is the reason we celebrate Christmas. When He was born, we automatically received salvation & justification. He sacrificed Himself just for us to be saved. I was touched by how the pastor said 'We did not found God, God found us.' That's how much God loves each & everyone of us, & I'm really thankful for receiving the gift.

After the church, we went to McDonald's & have a little Christmas dinner there. It was the same fast food chain where we had our dinner last Christmas. I also get to hang out with my two cousins Princess & Ruth. It was a blast!

Anyways, I think I really have to go to bed now so I could wake up early later & celebrate Christmas with my family! God bless, take care, Merry Christmas & a Happy LJ to you everyone! :)

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne :D

500th Post

A lot of blessings have been coming over the past few months since the day I decided to get out from everything that're giving me waves of tribulation. I changed schools, promulgated my resignation from my company, focused on my studies more than anything, & remained silent in my new environment- just keep on observing while hiding my past from these people.

However, these accidents have proven to be worthy after all, because it thought me how to keep my feet back on the ground, thought me how to appreciate even the simplest or smallest things life has been giving, thought me how to encourage people than destroy them, thought me how to live simple & serene, & most of all thought me how to love the people who love me.

Because of that I stood up again... seriously stood up again & looked forward than turn back. Moving on has never been this good, I presumed.

Blessings have also extended through the virtual world- not only did I get to write upto 200 songs, I also get to reach 500 posts before the end of this year. God is a great God indeed, & everything has always been fruitful amidst these problems.

If I still give my appreciation to each & any one of you, it would be so cliche already lol, so I'll just promise to give my best when it comes to blogging! More artworks, stories & entertainment just for you readers out there!


Just to give you my own Christmas treats, I have uploaded the blog headers that have shown significance in my life throughout this year. Show your favorite blog header by commenting below! Merry Christmas & Happy LJ to everyone of you! I love you!

January 2009- Janua-llan 2009

February 2009- Februa-llan 2009

  

March 2009- Music Mayhems & More

April 2009- Relax! Have a cool LJ!

   

May 2009- Mayrrier than Ever!

   

June 2009

July 2009- Rainovation

July 2009 B- Cory Aquino

  

August 2009- Augusternational

  

September 2009- Support in September

October 2009- Movin on...

  

November 2009- Sweet November

December 2009- Christmas Celebration

Will be waiting on your votes! Adventure to 600th post will begin soon! God bless & take care everyone! I will always be the Aldrinne you know!

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne :D

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¨°º¤ø„ LEFTY’S JOURNAL¸„ø¤º°
¸„ø¤º°¨CELEBRATION“°º¤ø„¸
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190th Song- Marks & Sparks (14th Album Title)

Marks & Sparks

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

People know about you & me

I don’t mind what they could find out

As long as you are here

If fate takes you away

& baby you can’t stay

No worries, I am the captain of my ship (Sail away)

Directions never will I be good at it

Simple instructions always lead me to you

Baby don’t you cry

Waiting for a sign

No worries, I am the captain of my ship

(Chorus)

X marks the spot (marks & sparks)

Just flare a spark

Everyday when I wake up

It feels like new adventures start

You are my goal

I’ll take you home

You are the only treasure I could keep

The only explanation is

These marks & sparks

It’s getting colder whenever you’re not around

I thought love was just a legend until you appear

If lightning strikes again

& storm waves took me days

No worries, I will do everything for you

(Repeat Chorus)

If ever you settled to someone much better

Listen I’d never look for treasure anymore

Cause you’re the only one I need

I’m a sailor, I can keep

A promise forever

(Repeat Chorus 2x)

Let’s sail away

189th Song- Defying & Defining (13th Album Title)

Defying & Defining

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

You’re just like the sound of my alarm

I didn’t notice I was struggling in the pit of my heart

You woke me up when I’m breaking down on my brim

I’ll let it go; you’d solved me anyway

Like a bullet that shot pass through my brain

But then again, you’re still the one who brought me sane

I followed what my heart was trying to say

I couldn’t postpone the love you give for me to seize the day

(Chorus)

You’ve changed me to the point I defy my quality

I know there’s something wrong when it’s you I see

Though it feels like I’ve became so wiser now

It’s hard to define myself for now

Like an angel protecting me from every harm

Every part of you makes me all numb

It’s like I suffered, moved out, set up anew

First I was depressed, but I met you

(Repeat Chorus)

But I am happy

Defy, define myself

I am happy defying, defining you

(Repeat)

& there’s something I need to say to you

If you think there ain’t no happening in my June

That was the moment I met you

& now I’m still rejoicing for loving you

(Repeat Chorus)

(Instrumental)

I am happy defying me

I don’t worry defining me

Can you tell me you loving me was real?

So I could tell you I’m ready for a new life too

Defying & defining me

Defying & defying you

188th Song- Go Retro

Go Retro

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

Like the big bang dust
Your life is full of creaks

Shrug them over

& do the basic thing

(Never need to complicate things)

When you lover’s a jerk

& everyone’s hurt

Tell him it’s over

While spreading all his dirt

(Never need to caught in between)

(Chorus)

So when everything is breaking

& while everyone is moving

Have to go

Go retro

& when everyone is complicating

Just to make a living

Have to go, go

Go retro

Go retro

& when your vertigo screams

& you shiver in the heat

Try to take a pill

Be sure you’re gonna heal

(Always look on your surroundings)

No need to race with time

Try to be sublime

No need to waste your energy

From doing a stupid crime

(Always stay on the positive side)

(Repeat Chorus 2x)

Velvet ruby studded flame

Strut that body

No pain, no gain

Vintage techno killer shades

Universe sees all your fame

(Repeat 2x)

(Repeat Chorus 3x)

187th Song- Hey There Heart

Hey There Heart
Allan Aldrinne Leyva

I always wanna be on top of my game

Envied by the people as they call out my name

Little by little, climbing up to my fame

But when I looked at you, it made me kinda insane

I couldn’t even hide my id from you

Your plan is working, bet you already knew

My heart is screaming, can I turn it off?

I get the feeling that I turned soft

(Chorus)

Hey there heart, won’t you stay with me?

Prioritize your career

What you’re feeling ain’t real

Chase your dreams, not this fantasy

She’s just someone for a fling

Tell me what’s really the deal?

Which one do you choose?

Your heart or your goals

Which one do you leave?

Your feelings or dreams

Which one do you get?

Try not to forget

Hey heart don’t be cruel

You’re an incompetent fool

At first I thought I’m gonna win this love-fame game

I know I got the weapons to get you inflamed

Second every second I divulge in your treat

No, I get to focus or I’d fall down to my feet

I couldn’t even hide my id from you

Your plan is working, bet you already knew

My heart is screaming, can I turn it off?

I get the feeling that I turned soft

(Repeat Chorus)

Breathing’s lost & beating’s weak

Pulse is absent

I must resist

(Repeat)

I think I’m falling in love (Repeat 3x)

(Repeat Chorus)

(Chorus)

Hey there heart won’t you stay with me

I choose what’s good for you

& what is good for me too

All your dreams, I know will happen in time

But first, let her be your wife

I knew your heart is your life

Someday you could use

Your heart for your goals

Someday you could live

Both feelings & dreams

I know what you’ll get

You wouldn’t forget

Hey heart now I’m sure
We’re all incompetent fools
Hey there heart

186th Song- Electrifying Love

Electrifying Love

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

Insulating lips surround my heart

It’s never gonna turn up a spark

Non-creative beating of my heart

Always ends into the start

Where I fall in love with everyone else

Your job is to save me by love & self-defense

(Chorus)

But my love for you glows

It’s like a lightning bolt

The thing that you need is to see & to feel

I’m always pulling the plug

Couldn’t even restart

So give me a beat & your electrifying love

Never needed some old time machine

I’m anticipating you in this scene

I could always email all my faith

I know it would’ve gone to your bin

So I pick up all my excuses

Relive the moments that would change your path to me

(Repeat Chorus)

(Instrumental)

Your eyes are glowing from the distance

We fall in love after in this dance

(Repeat Chorus 3x)

Thanks-civilizing

Seven days more & it's Christmas time. Did you receive your gifts already? Are you preparing a list for your noche buena already? I don't. I prefer being spontaneous rather than the old predictable Aldrinne.

Anyways, I just celebrated my mom's birthday today. She told me not to reveal her age so I'm gonna put it that way. She has always been my personal motivator & inspiration. I gotta hand it to her, even in the pits of hell she knows how to manage us three alone with school & everything else. She's like my very own barkada- I can practically call her my big sister rather than a mom. Anywho, kudos to my mom who just turned another year full of memorable & legendary experiences. Here's a photo of her when she's at her 90's.

I also get to finish 200 songs! Yeah! You know what, half of the year I get to go through hell alone & suffered too much by getting 'voluntarily' kicked out of school & being the image of a bad citizen, but when I think about it, the other half of the year was one of the blessings I have ever received in my life.

From June up until today, I get to appreciate more what Jesus has done in my life, I get to meet a new set of classmates that influenced me to exert more effort as a student, I get to experience how love can make you so happy & contented, & I also get to learn the things I haven't learned when I was in my old school. I don't blame them, I'm just lost in my path back then.

However, even when I had to go through a lot of tribulations, I still have a constant goal which I've aimed for from the start of this year which is to have 200 songs or more. If you're following me on Twitter, I've finally done it last night! It was really one of the best moments of my life, even if it just happened in my bedroom & that no one cares, but seriously guys! It's like my own personal diary (well, aside from LJ... well, they're both public diaries but at least there's a story behind my songs... whatever) that I like to share with the world through turning in into music.

Anyways, there are a lot of people that I really want to thank for intentionally & unintentionally shaping me up for the past couple of years or months or days, or hours even. It's been a crazy journey again & it was as if everything was turning out so great. Just so you know, I've chosen the title Thanks-civilizing because I'm creating (actually we are creating) a civilization full of appreciation & good deeds. Amidst those crazy things that are happening in this world of ours, we are still one with ourselves, our families & friends, our nature, & our God! Let's all spread the appreciation everyone- do thanks-civilizing! :)

I had a good week & the last set of Audit class for this year will be on tomorrow! Then it's Christmas break for me... booyeah! More songs are heading up to you this week! God bless & have a great weekend everyone!

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne :D

185th Song- Blue You

Blue You

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

Yellow lights of June

Walk thru cautious rules

Thought I’ve faced anew

Moved out of my tune

(Instrumental)

Then you came to save

Save me from my cage

Though I’m still surprised

Worthy is my fight

(Chorus)

Stopped me from falling apart

Convinced me & I fell in love

Over & over again

I lived like the tidal waves

You put me in a calmest sea

Never will I feign my love

Into the blue you

Into the blue you

Haze of purple clouds

Surrounded me with doubts

Synchronizing time

This is not my life

(Repeat Chorus)

When you go away

I am here to stay

‘Till you come back to me

I’ll give what you would need

(Repeat Chorus 3x)

Per-FOUR-Mance

Hello everyone! I really have a bad habit of not controlling my anger when you know you're doing something right & people are trying to tell you the opposite. It was supposedly a good Friday morning last week & someone just had to ruin it.

If I have to evaluate my performance this second semester, I have to say I have done well when it comes to contributing my part to our class' seminar & it's a thumbs up in my part when it comes to sitting infront of class in Course Audit as well.

I don't mind criticisms as well, in fact I like how people understand my actions- it makes me aware of my performance in terms of my academic excellence. What I don't like is criticizing me behind my back & sharing false criticisms about me to the people whom I don't even know.


When I think about it, I actually am serious about the seminar from day one since I heard about it. I did not complain (maybe a little) about being in charge of the documentation team, I actually acknowledge it since I like doing projects like that. I did not complain when I was chosen as one of the masters of the ceremony since it's a good experience to enhance my vocabulary skills. I didn't even say anything when conflicts arise, not that I don't care or I'm not part of it, but because I'm always neutral & respect every ideas that are being shared.

It's like I'm going beyond my part as well since I volunteered to make the certificate which isn't part of my job at all. It's like I'm receiving two times the work load even if I still have three minor subjects that I need to prioritize as well.

I don't complain when I'm being criticized that I'm having a bad performance into something I really don't exert effort from. It's okay since I don't do it good enough like they do, but false criticizing me even behind my back was way overboard.

I couldn't really stop from complaining, resulting to my lack of effort in studying for NCM prelim exam because of my mood that afternoon. This is the bad side of silently doing more effort than everyone else- I don't really need nor even care when my performance is being complimented, but complaining about it when everyone knows that I'm doing more than a good job is something I couldn't really just trifled with.

One lesson I learned from all these is that sometimes you have to make yourself be known by your actions even when God knows what you've really done. If respect or reputation is being affected from those false criticisms, I'm holding my peace cause it's actually stupid for me to fight over something that it wasn't true & those people that I love knows what I'm really doing. BUT if my grade is being affected from them, then I really have the right to speak up.

It's what you call E-FOUR-T, because it's four times the effort in my performance. God bless us & those people who have to learn the art of criticizing... or more in the art of appreciating as well. Have a happy start of the week!

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne :D

A Different December

Hey everyone! I've been sensing some climate changes over the past few days. It has been a sweet warm November indeed, & now we're heading to a 'Christmas Celebration' here in Lefty's Journal! Amidst being absent here for weeks which you should forgive by the way lol.

Anyways... updates! I really can't comprehend why I've been having troubles with blog visits; I used to have visits like twenty people per day or more everyday, but now it's like my blog is drifting away. I don't know but the more I try to make my blog to be known, the more it is being ignored. Maybe this is just the transitional phase that my blog & I are going through. I don't know, but I'm sure a lot busy to know the answer.

Speaking of being busy, I've been having a lot of events lined up for tomorrow, the next week & the next year. There's preliminary exams tomorrow although I'm not quite sure if I could take the NCM exam since I don't have an exam permit yet & I'm still waiting for the money to arrive. I'm having troubles with money today, since I'm trying to save up to pay my debt from a friend while day dreaming about buying clothes from Zara, eating DQ almost everyday... obviously trying to compensate my school life from being materialistic this season.

At least I'm looking forward to my Christmas break next week! I'm really thirsting for a break since I got fluxing sleep deprived for the past few weeks because of my duties, which I'm thankful also cause I get to finally fill up my cases in no time. Next year I also get to finish being one of the master of the ceremonies in our seminar & I'm also looking forward to that. Graduation is also coming near, that's why I need to fix everything to prevent any tribulation that is school-related.

So I'm gonna be posting more songs up this week & will be celebrating the 500th post! Woot! It is indeed a Christmas Celebration! Don't stop 'till you get enough... God bless & take care everyone!

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne :D