92nd Song- I Was

I thought I might be dropping you off with tons of debt of explanations why I haven't been in the blogging business lately. You see, I'm not kicking Leftie's Journal out of my habit, I'm just really focused on studies today. I had many bad experiences from procrastination, so I think I learned my lesson.

Anyways, awhile ago we had our last duty on our first hospital that was assigned to us. Next week we're going to a lying-in center so goodbye Cardinal, I'm really gonna miss everyone of them, especially the great Ms. Cherry Ann Templa, who never failed us to teach us about what we have to know about babies. Oh yeah, I'm so gonna miss those cute lil' babies I've taken care of. Who knows, 20 years later Baby Siopao or some of my babies I handled came up to me & just said thank you. Aww, that would be so nice. :)

I'm actually tired from the three-straight all nighters I had because of insomia & school works. I'm actuallly focused today, & at least I could still get my rest today. Together with my accomplishments, I also made my 92nd song & it's called I Was. Eight more to go & we'll be breaking the record... well, at least it's written on my history.

Anyways, I need to go to bed & be acquainted with my pillows tonight. I just miss resting all day, but I still got many things to finish like my SHE report & my NCM project. So I'm gonna end this with my song. Good morning everyone & have a great day! Special thanks to Icey, Cathy, Karren, Mafe, Anj, Jeah & Charlyn :) Signing off, iLAN

I Was

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

Everything is a little bit confusing

Better days are never gonna come again

All the while I’ve never really changed but

I tried my best for you

Love & lies are all the same

I’m afraid to never gonna love again

Yes you came, but I’m never really sure but

You’re leading me to hope

(Chorus)

There’s always part of me who never cared at all

There’s always part of me who’s closing all the doors

& I was just better than before

& I was just blaming you my fall

& what are you trying to say?

Protecting from reality was never a grace

Too much to see the truth

Try & make me so unsure

Family & friends to have

Never really cared for me anyhow

Darkness, mayhems, they prevail

You should’ve said it’s gonna be hard to fail

(Repeat Chorus)

There’s always part of me who’s crying on the floor

There’s always part of me who’s dying just to prove

I was right from dying in the end

I was disappointed in the end

(Repeat Chorus)

& I was uplifted in my haul

& I was just being than before

& I was just trying moving on

& I was just throwing all for me

& I was, yes I was

My Friend Jeah Part II

Does Jeah Jacob Deserve TV's Biggest Bucks?

A new survey from Forbes magazine names Jeah Jacob as TV's highest best-paid actors. The "Faces of the Stars" leading actress earned a total of $50 million in 2007, while Allan Leyva coined the 2nd place who earned with a toal of $48 million in the same year.

Jeah Jacob, who turned twenty one today, was preparing for the fourth season of Faces of the Stars  & her latest game show, Sing or Surrender which got the highest rating today. With her popularity rising, she maybe considered as the It Girl of Entertainment today.

"I am very happy that things are turning out okay. It's been hard & fun running into everything lately, but it's all worth it." Jeah said in a statement. Obviously, she also denied her earnings to us. "I'm not really good at numbers, so (laughs)... I'm not really good at numbers."

"With her charming personality & wicked singing skills, this lady is gonna hit it very far." her manager, Cathy Bautista said in a previous interview in E! News. She's also currently dating with Chase Crawford.

Surely Jeah is ready for more with her upcoming debut album launch "Beauty In Ugly" in the fall of 2011. She's also gonna star in a sequel of Allan Leyva's movie Trifles & Tribulations II- Conquering Korea. "She's just a very great friend of mine since college, & I just look up to her with her singing & acting." the Platinum Record King said in one of his interviews from his sophomore album launch Thrive & Strive.


Although the It Girl never revealed her yearly earnings, just expect her more from new episodes in F.O.T.S. to the movie TnT. ---- Reuters

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy Birthday to my dear friend Jeah! God bless & take care friend. Sorry for the late posts, I've been so busy with tons of school works.Have a good evening everyone! I'll explain everything next time. :D

Signing off, iLAN

Ask the iTunes

One of the things I play when I'm waiting for internet connection. :)

What do you think about life? It's Gonna be Love :)

What does your parents think about you? Turn Back Time (Aww..)

Is it hard to be someone else? Bartender lol

When do you think you're gonna be like? Iris :)

Have you fallen in love? Ultimate you (so positive)

Is she really the one? Dreams (My composition)

A singer & a nurse... what do you think? Umbrella acoustic huh?

What do you think about your families & friends? Everybody's Changing :_)

What do you dream mostly about? Touch my body *what the buck?*

What do you do when you're lonely? Wind... maybe get some fresh air?

The most effective way to be happy- If...

What's the best song you'd ever heard? Fergie's Finally... sweet

What's your song about your neighbors?  Wherever You Will Go lol

What song will be the last thing you'll hear today? Inuman Na! hahaha

Tomorrow? Dirty

When you die? Your Biggest Mistake (Toink!)

Are they true to you? We Can Work It Out :D

Are you true to yourself? When It Comes

What's the song for a broken heart? Maghihintay Ako :(

Will she come back? Even If

Happiness is Love- Infatuation

Love is a Ploy- Love Inside A Bottle Floating On A Puddle (by yours truly)

What time will I go to school tomorrow? We Will Rock You/ We Are the Champions

What will I do tomorrow? Hate That I Love You

What song will end a relationship? I Do (Cherish You) lol

Am I getting serious about the questions? Gimme More (If you say so)

Really? In This Moment (haha)

What will people think of my blog? I'm So Into You (Thanks guys) 

What song is best for my blog visitors? Crazy In Love lol

What song is best for those who don't visit it? Tattoo :P

What do you think about sleeping now? We Belong Together (Got that right!)

About sleeping at 2:42am? Control Myself.

The last song I'll ever hear 'till I sleep? Wasted :)

Salutalk!

A round of applause to the most procrastinating of them all. Argghh, if procrastination's a sin (which I think it is), I'm maybe more than a sinner by now. Dang! I had this day whole planned for studying Pharmacology, going out to claim my NBI clearance (needed for hospital rotation), & visiting my doctor for a check-up... but all this, boom! I just had to be lazy. Ahh! I wish it's new year already, cause I'm ready for my resolution.

I'm getting worst in school, & I have to admit I'm not doing really well in my studies. Way to start my 3rd year college life as you might say. I'm just being a bum like any other unemployed person, no... it's much even worst than that. I'm being this fat lazy psycho monster who just sits all day & pretends like there's not gonna be anything that needed attention for tomorrow & the next day. Raise your eyebrows if you like, this blogger will never finish college in the appropriate time. Sighing twice, that's a sign of devastation from complete destruction in the process from ditractions. You might not get it, but to sum it all up... I'm simply screwed!

I haven't heard from everyone of you. SALUTALK! Drop me a message or two either here in LJ, in Friendster or in my phone... I miss talking about people's problems, cause trust me I'm getting bored at talking on my own, let alone talk about my problems... let's just say my issues are much better left unsaid, & hidden in my superficial character. Questions? No need.

Okay, so my life is pretty normal right now; me being the best fit for the position of a victim being dropped by an atomic bomb &... yeah, that's about it. Sighing trice, that's a sign for waiving the white flag.

Okay, so I'm just giving up & ride with the waves by re-watching the first episodes of Gossip Girl. Damn, I'm so addicted to Leighton Meester! No need to hash out all the details about the season finale of GG, I already finished it... I'm just not ready for studying. Good evening everyone & God bless. Take care everyone. :)

Special thanks to Icey, Cathy, Karren, Mafe, Anj, Jeah & Charlyn :)

Signing off, ---A---

To Cry or Not to Cry

A girl from Yahoo Answers asked me if it's bad if she doesn't cry to her dog's & uncle's death. I told her that crying's really not the most certain proof for a person who mourns. I actually remembered my grandfather being brought to the cemetery for one last look on the world before he could go to Heaven.

Anyways, some people do not cry because maybe they're filling it up inside rather than on the outside. It's not pretty messy compared to the ones who has a fountain of tears but I'm very sure that whether they do or do not cry, that happy bubble was so popped long before the start of an event.

I also think that crying is the process of letting the problems & everything else out. It's more like holding on to the problems for a while, so those tears won't be going out for a moment, but when you're ready to let it go, you'll just let it out by crying.

We learn that everybody cries, but cryng isn't really just described as a person bursting into tears. Maybe it's all for those who just felt that everything happened so fast & that they can't break down now.

Seriously?

A change of character isn't the smartest move I'll do while playing the medical field, but I figure it's the bestest thing to be more serious about life & stuff.

It isn't easy to still ride along with the waves, I think it's time for me to surf my own way to being more mature about life. It's not really doing me any harm having fun & be carefree, but it's better if I focuse more on the job that I'm doing, not just fooling around & not learn anything from something.

I'm not saying I wasn't serious about life, I just thought that if I aim at the target, I shouldn;t just hit the body, I have to hit the head. You get what I mean? I'm considering to set my expectations higher, so I should become more focused on the way I'm trying to be. I don't want to be a prorastinator anymore, & if I had to do the job fast, I'd be finishing it earlier than expected. After all, I'm better off being smart. It makes you look ready. :)

What a day I had in my duty. After Baby Siopao, (whom I miss so much), I also had two babies- a boy & a girl whom I named baby Handsome & baby Beauty. Baby Handsome was so... obviously, handsome & Beauty is such a quiet, little critter. They both look so serene & descent. I could kiss & hug them all day long. :)

I'm learning so much about babies! :P

Special thanks to Icey, Cathy, Karren, Mafe, Anj, Jeah & Charlyn :)

Signing off, iLAN

91st Song- Where Were You?

Music's just keep coming & getting better all the time! With 91 songs, dang! :D

Where Were You

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

Let the good time roll

It’s not enough to control

Since darkness & mayhems unfold

I thought you’re beside me, I’m all alone

What’s your excuse?

For leaving me here with you lies & ruse

It’s all just a game, that’s just what you thought

Mem’ries can fade, but you’ll never go

(Chorus)

I accept you’re un’dinary, but it’s never too late for me

To change from what you have been

& I though you’ll be the one who’ll save me from what I will do

But then again where were you?

& I’ll lose control

Just falling, surpassing the things you don’t

Explain cause you’re busy with all your calls

One day, I found that you’re already gone

You must’ve been happy now

Without me you’ll say that I’m just a doubt

While I was in pain cause I took a vow

I thought you’d comply when there’s no on around

(Repeat Chorus)

(Instrumental)

Two things, one is

Congratulations, you just broke my heart

‘Nother is that you never

Cared for me anyhow

So what am I doin’ now?

(Repeat Chorus 3x)

Where Were You? (3x)

90th Song- Don't Revolve

Oh I just hate loving procrastination. It never makes me finish everything that I need to do or study what I need to study. I haven't been able to talk to my two professors for my make-up exams & I have a feeling I'll flunked my subjects. Sigh! I hate being sick, it makes you so occupied & vacant at the same time. I'm just happy my composing ability is still there. I made another song yesterday & it's good. It's called Don't Revolve :)

Don’t Revolve

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

I was raised like a tiger from a group of bears

You have to do more than a lot of physical pain

I was living a perfect life

Never had a storm in sight

So you’d understand the things I’d like to keep

I made a wall I’ve built throughout the years

I kept it simple cause I know I’ll never be

A commander in my life

Maybe I’ll put up a fight

But I would never change so different

Cause I’m better off the line

(Chorus)

I don’t revolve in someone else’s dream

I’d like to know if you would do the same for me

For I’ve been in part of reality

I’m telling this with honesty

I will never be the guy you ought to be

& I know my boundaries will set me free

I commit every promises life is giving me

Though I am weak, I know I’m more than this

I am walking on my own

I belong to what I know

& I would never close the doors

To the future I will hold

(Repeat Chorus)

Hit & hurt me, I don’t really care

Though my absence is giving you relief, I am there

Give me all today

I’ll make it through okay

Laugh & cry, win tonight

Out of sight

I know I don’t revolve

(Repeat Chorus 2x)

I don’t revolve

Anyways, still need to finish some millions of paperworks due tomorrow. I'm not really in the mood for socializing but I'm sure I'll be picking up that phone in no time. Until then, mayhems, mischiefs, dramas, problems, dreams, life & everything under the sun... will be updated soon. God bless & take care everyone. :)

Signing off, Revolver... ? :D

Yesterday night...

I was ---this--- close to actually leaving home yesterday night when mom & I had a fight. I was gonna keep this to myself, but what the heck, a journal's a journal.

After my friends & I watched Batman which is a very brilliant but long movie, we decided to go home & rest the days away. Unfortunately, sleep isn't really just the activity that I had. I don't know why she became so hysterical, I just asked her what's her problem, which is the question I always want to ask her because when she's angry, she's outrageous. I mean, what's so bad about being concern to your mom. I think she took it the wrong way & just hit me both physically & emotionally. I didn't eat that night. I was so hurt I can't even cry. I just closed my eyes & hope that what she's done will never affect me as a person. She's not the only ones who have problems. After I closed my eyes to sleep, I thought that she should've killed me years ago so she wouldn't have any problems with me today. I don't know with you guys, but sometimes I think it's better if we get emancipated or something to not bother other people. How I wish my dad didn't leave us for someone better. How I wish my mom knows to control her anger somehow. I'm stuck, really.

I don't know if I'm angry or sad, but pretty much I'll be dealing with life the hard way. :_(

89th Song- A Way To Break My Heart

Just call me the unluckiest guy in the whole world. Sigh, I didn't get to take my Pharmacology & CHD preliminary exams because I got sick because of the rain. I was heading home last night from my duty & it rained so hard. I have no umbrella or jacket so I figured to wash away my pride & get wet. Unfortunately, rain has given me much more than a wet uniform. Sigh, I was destined to review Pharmacology all night but the headache was beginning to get worst... to make the story short... I got ill.

I'm getting better now since we went to the clinic awhile ago. I kinda miss being nursed by my mom. She buys me all the stuff I needed for me to get better soon. She even bought me pizza! Just the right amount of food for me to be well again! Arrggghhh... tell you what I didn't miss--- the taste of Tempra Forte. That syrup just got me more nauseous everytime I swallow it.

I missed everything! I was destined to pass the exams with flying colors & now I didn't even get to take it. My point is I should've taken the tests, but my body just couldn't take it. I was so weak when I woke up this morning. I was destined to get better so I drank many warm water. Thank goodness it worked! My Pharma report also got me better because I just finished my 12 page-report due tomorrow. Because I figured I'm gonna suck at tomorrow's exams anyway, I just killed the time by composing another song.

89 SONGS, & still writing :)

I know the title of this song's kinda off but there's good meaning unto it. Just read it & one of these days I'd be singing it infront of you guys... just get me off with the illness, please! Now I understand the meaning of the song Rain on the Brain! Anyways, here's A Way To Break My Heart :)

A Way to Break My Heart

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

There were little mistakes that turned into big disgrace

& there are times where we need to love without the heart

We are old enough to know

That these cases can go wrong

But what good it brings if we ever love by giving everything?

So now I’m wise enough to control my emotions

Though sometimes we fall through, leaving us with broken hearts

But we’re growing everyday

To start learning all the aches

This is better than dreaming now & then

& waking up frustrated

(Chorus)

I am keeping my information to a way to break my heart

I don’t want to break into pieces cause they’re pulling me apart

So I’m giving up in living & just hide in my despair

I’ll never feel the pain again so at least it’s good to bear alone

I guess it’s time to grow up & face all my discretions

Imaginations & dreams are never gonna live

So I’ll face reality & just hope that I could be

Unimportantly, indescribably immune to all the pain

(Repeat Chorus)

Maybe I was being hypercritical

But it’s good, it’s good to disagree

Than getting back to the field & play

The games intended for the early stage

I’m never gonna love again

(Repeat Chorus)

To bear by myself & love all alone

I’ll never go succumb

By the light in front of me

I am promising to keep the information I need

(Repeat Chorus)

There’s a way to break my heart

Still got many things to study... I hope everything's gonna be alright. Watch out for tomorrow, I think there'll be an earthquake hitting here in the Philippines.... come on! I'm no psychic but I'm just careful. Good evening everyone! God bless & take care :)

Signing off, A

Baby Siopao

I think this duty-thing is really gonna work for me. Aside from not having the right amount of time to study for the Prelims tomorrow, I guess babies would really make my hospital work so worthy.

We were assigned to take care of the babies there individually. I was assigned to a cute lil' baby boy who I named baby Siopao. He was so round & pink I could hug him all day. He was the most behaved from all the babies there. Even Joan, my groupmate, was attracted to Siopao. So when I left the hospital at around 9pm, I can't really take off that smile on my face. I'm sure gonna miss cute lil' baby Siopao. :)

Anyways, I can't chat with you right now. Still got many things to do & I'm still going to school for my researched due on Friday. I still have to review for the Preliminary exams & the overdue long test on Pharmacology & SHE. Sigh...

Good morning to everyone & take care always. :)

Special thanks to Icey, Cathy, Karen, Mafe, Anj, Jeah & Charlyn :)

Signing off, iLan

Allan's Anatomy Season Three Episode 1

What an exhausting day I had in my first ever hospital duty. Whoo! I can't believe I was enjoying the torture.

I had learned a lot of stuff today, especially those metal thingys use in the Gamma Knife Center, sounds 'comic-ky' huh? I'm just happy that duty isn't really that toxic. I know it's pain to have many researches to finish lined along the way, but all was worth it, especially tomorrow, where I could finally see the BABIES!!! Yey! I'm so excited about it. :)

Because we were dismissed early from 2pm to 8:30pm, I planned to watch WallE alone but it still wasn't there in the movie theater at Galleria. Dang it!

Anyways, the hospital is such a new environment for me. Because I'm finally closer to being a nurse & put all those pre & post dramas I had since first year, I guess it's time for me to accept reality & do this tiring but fun activity. But first, I'm gonna hit the haystack now. hehe. Good night & God bless to everyone! :P

Special thanks to Icey, Cathy, Karen, Mafe, Anj, Jeah, & Charlyn :)

Signing off, Allan Karev :D

Getting ready for more...

I don't know with you, but I see myself as a different person everyday, & then there was my goals which never change, making me confused on what personality should I wear today to achieve them.

It's not really a bad thing. I get role confusion, but I'm not confused about gender stuff. It's just hard for me to choose a perfect humanistic character that I can be in the future. The one who'll define it as my character, & not really the goody too shoes nor the black sheep character.

I'm not depressed about finding the perfect personality, I'm also getting ready for more. It's quite fun, actually, trying to figure which suits me more. At one point you're being this 3 year old young man & then a serious 30 year old boy. It's not that tiring either; just imagine how many fun & exciting things you can do in a lifetime.

At exactly 2pm today, I'll be having my first hospital duty which is exciting but so nerve-wracking I can't even choose where to start reviewing about babies! I guess I'm lucky enough to be placed in Cardinal Santos Hospital, & super-duper lucky to be placed in their Nursery. I may not be doing American Idol Summer Tour Concerts with David Archuleta (T_T), but at least I'm with this cute little infants that I will appreciate even in the future. Awww, babies! I can't wait! :D

I need air for the moment to savor the last fresh morning air until I grew so tired (in a good way) on my studies. It's definitely gonna be a hell of a journey but I'll be feeling Heavenly good! I'm getting ready FOR more to HAVE more, hence, to BE more. I'd be experiencing every tribulation I could get & learn from it. I'd be sticking to all the people who loves me, & God who never ever left my side for 18 years. (Exhales)

Good... Better morning to everybody & have a nice Monday everyone. God bless & take care. Until then, you know you love me :D

Special thanks to Icey, Cathy, Karen, Mafe, Anj, Jeah & Charlyn :)

Signing off, iLan (gearing up for the concert)

88th Song- Just In Case You Forget

12 more songs & I'm gonna make history! Okay, not really, but I could get to book-bind it for memories sake... for my future job I guess, if ever I was destined to be a singer. ;) Anyways, I'll hit you with this cute lil' song :)

Just In Case You Forget

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

There’s a sign where you could go

A direction to let you know

There are people who just enter you

See their timings are a little off

Now if we thought they are so in love

Close the door & you’re wrong ‘bout vows

If we run & the moment’s wrong

Then congratulations, you just ruined my song

(Chorus)

Just in case you forget, I’m here

This little ‘magination will never disappear

All the while you could be my soul

Don’t ever underestimate the power below

(Just in case) you forget

Don’t you ever come mundane

Just in case you forget

Find a path so we could have somewhere to go on the go

When you hit & something turned up

I’ll go indecent & make it stop

I don’t care if they could judge

It’s their curiosity who’s finding the hunch

So if we thought they are so in love

Close the doors & you’re wrong ‘bout trust

If we run & the moment’s gone

Then congratulations, you just killed my hum

(Repeat Chorus)

Maybe I’m a little crazy ‘bout this feeling, oh baby

But there are things we should feel happy about

Just in case I forget it’s wrong

(Repeat Chorus)

Just in case you forget

I’m still all alone

Datinghood Society

I had a wonderful time hanging out with my four dates yesterday. You got that right! I'm no macho but they really dig guys who are nice. lol

Anyways, I watched Wanted yesterday with Anj, Cathy, Charlyn, & Dalal & woah! We were blown away by the movie. Having that movie-hang over, we pretended to be assasins in the mall, being Wilson & Fox trying to be cool. I had such a good time with them. I guess I needed the time out for tomorrow's duty in Cardinal Santos. I'm kinda excited but obviously nervous at the same time.

I'm gonna be fully tight in this week's schedule, so I really don't know if I can update you guys this week. I have this hospital duties & the prelim exams, so it's also gonna be a tiring week. Wish me luck you guys. :)

Special thanks to Icey, Karen, Cathy, Mafe, Anj, Jeah & Charlyn :)

Signing off, iLAN :)

Archu-Leyva Concert

"It's gonna be the best music experience you will never ever forget." Those were the last words of the international pop-star singer Allan Leyva in his interview about the up coming & most talked about concert with his fellow companion, David Archuleta.

The two famous singers, who happened to be close friends, planned a night where they would define music in a different way. There will be many suprises in store for the audiences. Just imagine how suprised were we when it intentionally rained in the last Charity Concert all over the stadium. The people were soaking wet, same as the singers headed by Leyva, but everyone had the best time ever.

"I guess 2011 would be a great year for all of us. We've been waiting for this concert to happen but we're just so busy with our schedule so we're really thankful that it'll finally happen." said by David Archuleta, who's songs today like "Always Will" & "Now" topped the charts on the music billboard.

The Leyva & Archuleta concert will take place in Hard Rock in New York from August 2 to 4 then on August 8 to 10 at exactly 8 in the evening.

"You definitely have to come early because we're gonna need you for the suprise." :)

Songs, Families, Friends, Updates!

'You Never Talk'. My Dad. Mom's friends. My Life as it is.

Hey ya'll cyber space readers! How's life treating yah? Okay, being a rodeo blogger isn't really my thing. Guess I just had to stick with the things I do best... updating memories from my two-day absence. Well! there's a simple reason to it, being so busy with school works... or maybe procrastinating a little. Okay! I admit, I'm not your so called hardworking kind of guy, but at least I try... Ahhh, let's just get into updates!

I made another song I started writing from July 7, & just finished it yesterday. Actually, this is one of the songs I've been doing together with my first attempt to make a tagalog song after all these years. Sigh! I'm having doubts about it but I'd let you know. I also made a list of song titles for future compositions. It's called You Never Talk & it's way different than I imagined. I'll post the lyrics later.

Cheers for my dad! He just made it so difficult to get through him. I'm not really that angry at him just because he's been ignoring us for a couple of months now & completely not answering my grandmother's call so she could tell him about my pinning ceremony. I'm just sad that my father can't even pick up the phone or turn on the computer so he could just talk to me. Anyway, since he has family there, who am I to judge, right?

Along with the downfall of my trust for my father was that of my mom's friends... or companions... I don't really know what to call them, since they're not having those sisterhood bonding thing anymore. I don't really know if she & her friends are having a fight or whatever, but one thing I do know is that she's been going through a lot lately. Just hearing her in the shower crying every chance she could get completely breaks my heart. Just imagine how you value your friends so much & they just talk behind your back. I don't really want to join this miscommunication party because it's not also my position to bother other people's lives, but I just don't get the point why do friends have to abandon one another after how much love you have given them, & everyone knows that when a mother gets hurt, her children do too.

Sometimes things just got out of hand, whether it be the beginning of a new song or the ending of a relationship. But even though we're in this hurting phase right now, I strongly believe that admitting it than running away from it is the most courageous & probably the bestest thing to do. Moving on is one thing, but facing it first will be the easiest way to confront it.

So much for that, I'm gonna hit the haystack already, so goodnight to all of you guys & God bless us always. :)

You Never Talk

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

I’m moving so close without you

I’m trying too hard to hate you

But tell you what, it’s not even working cause

I’m having some tribulation

In making some false redemption

You were my life & I cannot make a simple lie

To forget you

To upset you

Cause I never wanna turn a simple fight

Into some things we’ll surely hide

& I, don’t even wanna say goodbye

To end a life that I wanna try

& though, my feelings are new to you

I just, want you to know that these are true

So if, you’ll ever gonna be afraid

I’m still beside you, so don’t you fret

I’ll protect you

I will hold you

You’re making some wrong assumptions

I’m telling you now these ain’t true

But tell you what, I’d say the truth if you could just

Not be so judgmental

& set some good regulations

By now you’d feel the emptiness inside of me

To forget you

& regret it later

Cause I never wanna go, leave you alone

& set some boundaries you’d already haul

& I, can’t pretend it’s gonna be alright

Then lock myself up & just cry tonight

So I’m down on my knees & pleading for

A perfect chance to get my fall

I will be sensitive & try to lie

To them who surround us, I will find the right time

I’ll protect you

I will hold you

(Instrumental)

(Chorus)

You see what I mean

I’m making this clear

Tell me now you love me now

I never wanna be stuck in between

Stop the time as I go drown tonight

(Repeat Chorus 2x)

Cause I never wanna be alone for years

You’re just the one I was waiting for to see

You never talk

Special thanks to Icey, Cathy, Karren, Mafe, Anj, Jeah & Charlyn. :)

Signing off, ArchuLeyva

Mother Knows Bestest...

We always experience the bad feeling maybe once a day, the sick feeling- maybe once in a week, but the worst feeling, ah that can happen once in awhile. The former sucks even more because it's not only the event who's gonna blame you in the end, it's the people who are affected who's definitely gonna bring you down, no matter how close you are to them... or even a mother.

I'm not really a fan of her technique, you know, discplining the kids by shouting at them every chance you get, threatening them & slapping them, but I honestly understand why she's being these kind of an authoritarian. She's our mother & at the same time our father & I don't blame her for treating us dirt once in a while. Maybe we just deserve it, but to tell you the truth, if I become a parent myself, I'll promise that I will never physically hurt my child... because it's gonna hurt emotionally to them too, & I don't wanna do that. Trust me, both pain is gonna stimulate in a child. I still don't know if I'm gonna be a great parent someday, but I do know that I'm gonna protect my kids with my life. I may not even say it here but it's tattoed already in my heart & soul.

Being a parent must have been real hard as hell. It's so obvious how my mother was still overwhelmed after 18 years of having kids, but I have to say, she raised a fine, responsible (maybe talented) young man who's giving her a thumbs up in what she's good at... which is raising us. :)

Oh yeah, it only takes my mother to slap me hard on my shoulders while I was sleeping in front of the laptop to wake me up so she could remind me of how Meralco is being our enemy to think about these thoughts. That's why I love my mom, there's a hidden meaning behind those slaps & shouts. So it's not only the words who you have to read between & beyond the lines. Good nighty everyone & God bless. I'm just so tired because we had had our first orientation for our first duty in our first hospital. hehe

Special thanks to Icey, Karren, Cathy, Mafe, Anj, Jeah & Charlyn :)

Signing off, --A--

Ploys

I'm trying to be the one who can understand, but in the end, I'm the one who always takes the fall.

I'm admitting I wanna be vulnerable, but I don't wanna be blamed by misconceptions & miscommunications. For my sake, I'm the one who's always taking the bullet, but honestly, I just know that I shouldn't be the one people will talk bad about behind my back. You may say that you're not yapping bad stuff about me, but please, with my experiences in life, I can really tell. Now I know why we shouldn't talk behind else's back, we don't know anything about the person.

I have no idea how it's gonna turn our for us, but I know the topic's gonna stay for awhile. I'm not lifting any red flags here, why would I do that to a friend? I just know that without this sensitivity that comes so handy with life, I must've been believing the whole parts of the story.

Sorry for being such a bad guy. Trust me, you don't even know anything about me behind this wall. I'm keeping my eyes open for any ploys or rouse.

Know Thyself

Too many people see you the way you're not supposed to be seen. Too many people judge you the way you're not supposed to be known. Too many people treat you the way you're not supposed to be treated. It's the way of life in this world, but who cares about what they think, as long as you know yourself? Okay, I care a little bit... scratch that.

For so long we're being known by people by what we usually do, say or act. Sometimes, they overstep the border because they tend to give you a character that is completely not you. I admit I've been judging people, but I'm usually the one who gives a benefit of a doubt. The thing is, it kinda sucks being yourself in public & then they judge you just like that. Can't you just get to know the person before you think of any irrational thoughts?

For instance, look at me & my bestfriends Ice, Jeah, Achi Aileen, Weegy, Karen, Shanna & Lee. We're not really so close together before, & I tend to know the person by what people say, but dang! They became the people who just got into my circle. So it's not always you who have to know the person, let them be known by the way they should've known. For short, put aside the critic thing & know the person.

Anyways, enough of all of that. I just watched Hancock last night with Mitch, Nico, Joan & Tmac & tell you what, it's so good. Will Smith is definitely my favorite actor & you really have to watch it! :)

There are still many many things to finish, & I'm still having that post-morning laziness so I guess I have to start waking up now. Have a wonderful & blessed Sunday everyone, God bless & good afternoon!

Special thanks to Icey, Cathy, Karren, Mafe, Anj, Jeah & Charlyn :)

A little shoutout to my idol David James Archuleta in MySpace. I'm listening to your Longer right now & I'm waiting for you to finish that album. Good luck all of you in the tour. You said it yourself, you feel jubilant about it. :)

Signing off, Archu-leyva :D

What You've Missed

Guess I'm a little late to greet you all, maybe just the Americans, a Happy 4th of July, & to celebrate this moment, here's me again updating my life after a two day absence because of a broken DSL modem. (Dang it!)

Anyways, how's life treating us lately? It's a shame to ask you all this for the first time because I continue blabbing about my life without having the courtesy of asking your thoughts lately. Anyways, you're all free to comment about anything under the sun. I may not be famous, but I sure know how to give some of my time reading, so yey for me!

It's so good that I'm having these time to relax just before, during & after my school. I'm not saying I'm goofing off to my studies lately, but, you know, the pressure isn't really that big of a deal once you get used to it. Sheesh! After 16 years of studying, is it that new that we are being tortured by education? My point is, even if you're giving your 100% to your studies, you can still have the time to arrange those thoughts or meditate the stress away. So what I'm saying is that you're not just doing the best you can, you're doing what you think is the best for everyone. Go reward yourself anytime soon, & don't worry, those Behaviourist think it's better than working hard with punishments.

It's 12:52 in my clock & I still have to study for Pharmacology & go over through my SHE report but I'm not really that worried... okay I'm worried, but I'd come to a conclusion that everything will going to be alright.

Happy Birthday to Catherine "Direk Cathy" Bautista!

Good luck on the tour for the American Idols especially to David James Archuleta :)

Good mornight & God bless.

Signing off, iLAN

86th Song- Traveler

I don't have a clue whether it's a hidden blessing or just the way Karma wants to play, & I'm just not well enough to distinguish why Tonsilitis is such a pain. Well... I'm not really sure if this is the one I'm suffering to right now, but the diffused pain is kinda going down from my throat & into my stomach, so yeah! I have to make an intelligent guess.

I kinda enjoyed how my day turned out today. Besides being bored to the point of having Dyspnea, I actually had fun today with my 314 buddies. Let's just say we had made the first ever section 314 bloopers... & it involves a Ronald McDonald & a bus. Just thinking about it, it sure is a memorable one to everyone of us, & I bet we'll be having some constant laugh trips in our new environment.

Anyways, I finished another song that I have written awhile ago & I've decided to sing this song with my 'you've seen it coming' duet partner & one of my bestest friends, Icey Velasco! Though my days will never be different without them, I'm sure they're also having the time of their life just like mine. Anyways, here's the lyrics of Traveler :)

Traveler

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

Look out

Look out we’re gonna go back

Go back to where it started from

The love & lies, the people that I’ve trust

I am searching for a new life

Without those that protrude my selfishness

I rather work on my own confidence

(Chorus)

& I’ve, I’ve been waiting for a reason why

To live a life outside a watchful eye

Cause I’m a traveler in people’s eyes

It’s helping me in moving on

But I have to go back to begging for

A place where I create my happiness

A place where I create my (scat)

Fall out

Fall from the sky I know why

Know why you had to be alone

With all these fights & people who just devastate your life

We’ve been being so accountable

It’s time to, time to be unbearable

To let us breathe, I’m mortified that they won’t see the leaks

(Repeat Chorus 2x)

My love, there’s a limit to everything

We can’t always be in the perfect lane

But know that my faith is still the same

& there are people who just cry today

& just to break the ice I know

I’m having troubles in letting go

But then there was you who just keeps me wake

& found all the answers that made me safe

(Scat)

(Repeat Chorus 2x)

Cause I’m a traveler in people’s eyes

Special thanks to Icey, Karren, Cathy, Mafe, Anj, Jeah & Charlyn :) God bless & good evening everyone!

Signing off, Traveler