‘& early in the morning he came again into the temple, & all the people came unto him; & he sat down, & taught them. & the scribes & Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; & when they had set her in the midst, they said unto him, Teacher, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what say you? This they said, testing him that they might have to accuse him.
But Jesus stooped down, & with his finger wrote on the ground, as thought he heard them not. So when they continued asking him, he lifted himself up, & said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. & again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.
& they who heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: & Jesus was left alone, & the woman standing before him. When Jesus had lifted himself up, & saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those your accusers? Has no man condemned you?
She said, no man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, neither do I condemn you: go, and sin no more.’
This is gonna sound (or look, I.d.k.) so bogus, but I was like the woman who created adultery on that story… okay not really, but somehow it did happen to me not so long ago, minus the gender role & an experience in love making. When I think about it now though, it seems like Jesus loves me that much.
Common response when I first thought about it- what the heck? How could someone who was a Christian who only had faith in Jesus but does not practice Christianity at all for a very long time became so lovable by our Heavenly Father?
Last night when I’ve read this verse again, I had an epiphany; that woman, who was seen committing adultery by the Pharisees, who became the talk of the temple & who made an offense equal to being casted with stones, was forgiven by Jesus Christ with no condemnation at all.
After that, waves & waves of memories went back leading me into the most specific part of it- the time when I was accused for posting something in YouTube that did not just ruin my reputation, but the entire school as well. The worst part about the incident was like being in that temple, scared to be casted with stones while everyone looks at you like a criminal.
Not only that, back then I was so hopeless that I even questioned God. “I was happy, Lord, why did these mayhems, which could’ve fallen into someone more evil than me, specifically chose me from 8 billion people in this world?” Turns out I wasn’t really happy at all.
From my former school, I was like involuntarily pulled & placed in some random section in my last year of college in Arellano University. My response- how did I deserve this crappy second chance anyway? I mean, I was happy; I had a lot of friends… best friends even, had extra money from my business, had a lot of people looking up to me & a lot of things that only I can do. & all that were completely taken away from me.
I was sinking in this pit where no one could even possibly see me & pull me out. There was a point in time when I even thought about suicidal intentions. That was normal, I guess. After all, it’s more scary when I go jumping up & down merrily because of the fact that I’m falling apart. I prayed & clung to God & developed a sudden faith that only appears during crises, & then drifts away when things turned out good. & even if I did all that, he was the one who pulled me out that hole.
& there I was, getting ready to be stoned. Throughout my nineteen years of existence in this world I was a Christian, but there was never a day or even a couple of hours in those nineteen years that I really acknowledge him & let him enter my heart. I just believe that there was a God, but then again, even demons believe in God.
Then one day I woke up early in the morning, & saw myself: my true form, which was far more than an atheist & a demon combined- a non-practicing Christian. & I stayed to that form for more than I could ever think of. I didn’t see that coming though… all that bad experiences were actually God’s plan for me to be a better person in the end.
He saw me as an adulterous woman just like in the story, but then He didn’t judge me, nor condemn me, nor have forsaken me. When I got lost in my path, he was actually beside me to pull his flashlight out to clear my path; When they have ruined my clothes of dignity, leaving me naked, he did not laugh at me nor tell me ‘I told you so’. He even clothed me with the finest robes only a king can wear. & he even said he loves me that much… so much that I couldn’t even deserved in a lifetime. He was beside me all along, & I ignored him.
God loves me so much that he didn’t send me in some random section in what I first thought was a crappy school (I actually believe I could pass the board exams now, unlike before). He loves me so much that he even put me in a class full of Christian friends along with my old classmate John who became my tour guide in my first week of class. God loves me so much that he specifically put me to Sir Jed’s class who not only became my favorite teacher, but the one who really showed me the way to Jesus Christ. God loves me so much that he didn’t wait for me to come back & apologize to him (even though it’s unforgivable if it was me), He was the one who even came to look for me… the mighty King of kings, the Savior, the biggest of all the biggest things, searched through the dark & twisty roads just to save a mere servant who doesn’t even deserve to live in the first place. He saved me out of all the miseries & burden I’ve caused him.
While they see me as a person who committed a crime big enough for me to be forgiven, He protected me from condemnation & told them “those who wanted to condemn my son Allan, they shall admit that they do not commit any sins whatsoever, for a sin is still a sin no matter how big or small it is.”
God bless & take care everyone! The script, by the way, is found in the book of John 8:2-11. *Chants ‘I do not boast & I do not have to. I just testified His love before you.’
Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne :D
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