Ready to Fall...

The title says it all. It's been awhile since I last felt it, & now it's coming back. I had thoughts about this, but now I'm very sure that this is it. This is the moment that my heart is telling me to do it. I am ready to fall... literally.

I guess when you're tired as heck, you just have to set aside those love & friendship dilemmas for a moment. At first, I always say that summer school is hard but fun. Now, it's the other way around, making it seem more negative than what I thought it was.

I'm so sleepy, tired, & hungry, but I'm just so occupied with a lot of school works that sometimes I just forgot to take care of myself. The bad thing is that I'm starting to get worried that I might not show my concern & love to the people I know because I can't even take control of myself in the first place, thus, giving me the space that I need to have, but I don't want to have, at least not right now.

Solutions like editing your pictures & stuff like than make me feel serene just for awhile. It's a good thing for me to show my creativity that I started to love back when I was a child, & it gives me the rest that I needed to continue working hard... I mean studying hard. You see! I can't even distinguish studying from working anymore. It's as if I'm doing both, with no salary. sob

I have always believed that I can do this because I've been in this troublesome world for eighteen years & I'm not giving up, but I just want to be locked in my room all alone, AC in full blast, sleeping & waking up to watch t.v. while eating pizza. Even just for one day I wanna be that couch-potato slob, I'd kill anyone to have that piece of day.

Many, however, are counting on me. I suppose I could say I'm also counting on myself, so I'm not giving up all because I cannot sleep or that I feel like a mess today, no! I'm not giving up with these burdens that can ruin me because I'm not a mediocre when it comes to handling superficial & all-what-you-can-think-of pain. I am my Alaxan, I am my Neozep, I am my Pizza Hut. The only thing that can stop me now is... nothing. This thing that I am experiencing now is nothing but a test to prove that I can push myself into my limit. I'm getting stronger, so I can handle tough jobs like this. YEAH!!!

It's weird that I can become an optimistic guy from being a negative person by just updating my blog. I guess it's also one of the things that I need to do to pump those muscle & start burning fuel again. I am my own Friendster! :D

Special thanks to Icey, Karren, Cathy, Mafe, & Anj. :)

P.S. But I do really need that day with just me & my pizza tee-hee-hee :D

Signing off, Ready to Fall... & rise