It's really annoying how you tend to be the 'shiny new toy' when you transfer schools & ended up sitting with a group of strangers. People look at you differently, define you differently, & even when you think you've become a part of the flow, let's just say ripples are different from turbulence.
I guess I was lucky enough to have a classmate that was also my previous classmate from our former school a year ago. Before the start of this school year, I promised myself to be the Allan I was before, & tell you what I became even more thirsty for knowledge than I previously was, became more sensitive to my body by losing a lot of weight & sleeping before twelve o'clock, & never felt so spiritually-inclined (especially during Thursdays & every mornings) because of Bible study & when I'm reading the Bible.
I'm happy & contented- I'm not really earning from business now but the feeling of having to achieve your dreams in the future really tries to put me back to the ground. I also didn't care much about making new friends now (though I'm not rejecting them) because I'm really into studying. It's actually nice to have a couple of people as your friends- talking about school stuff & interesting subjects, especially that the classmates I'm kinda hanging out with doesn't really fit in the group.
Actually, that's the friends I'm looking for- spontaneous, doesn't need to act cool, & talk about things that normal people don't know about but aren't deviant at all.
However, people actually said I'm weird. I was talking to my mom the other day & she said one of her classmates before noticed that I've been hanging with some friends who they call weird.
I actually just kinda laughed it off, because my plan is doing great- being able to be completely avoidable by hanging out with some people they judge, having a backpack so worn out & look so soiled people will think I'm a loser (though I believe I am lol), & being quiet during breaks just doodling or finding some new words from my Bantam.
To tell you the truth, I believe that I am weird in so many levels. Being actually weird really separates me from the group but I really don't care, cause the things that I'm doing that people usually don't do like writing songs, blogging, reading, drawing or doodling, listening to the songs I love instead of the songs that are hitting the charts now (not really though), really makes me a lot happier than I was being normal. Those are the things that I find pleasurably & interestingly. It's not really a lot different from other people but I like to think that I am.
& besides, weird is cool! :)
I'm doing so great in my studies now that I'm always staying out of trouble (not posting some videos that will involve many people or staying out late), & I think I'm becoming more mature that I was back then.
It really helps when you have a good not-really-broken-now family, having a good mom to guide you throughout your life, good sets of friends that protect me from any misconceptions or misunderstandings, good professors that will not only shape you academically, but will entirely haul you to be the greatest person you can be, my God who's my Alpha, Emmanuel & Omega, & Jesus Christ who still washes all my sins away before I could ask for forgiveness.
If you think about it, those things actually keep me normal, making me a weirdness wannabe lol. I'm positive, still prospectophobic (that's a good thing for me now- makes you care about the future), & look & feel a lot better than before. Who says you can't regress & progress at the same?
Song for today is Ordinary People by John Legend. God bless, take care & have a good, safe & productive week everyone! :)
Shaping in, shipping out, Allan :D
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