Okay, so if you're following me on Twitter or Plurk you might already know how I spent my first two days of hospital duty in a faraway place, meaning I had to be alone & emotional for an hour & a half just to go there. Seriously, I tend to get blank whenever I travel alone. It's pretty good cause my contradicting personality wants to have a quiet atmosphere sometimes, though I could really use some company every now & then.
I'm just really lucky my OR duty doesn't suck- I've met a lot of friends including Diego, Grace, Simang, Aron Mark & my classmates Randy & Rainier, viewed some major & minor procedures there like appendectomy & debridement of a diabetic patient's foot, had a minor case on the second day of duty (Dilatation & Curettage) & got to spend some time reading & checking out some big words from me' old Bantam.
I've also experienced riding a public vehicle running like a Ferrari for the first time! lol, & the scary part was we're actually on top of the mountains! Kinda think of it, that driver really values his time as he swerved on both lanes... making that one hour & thirty minute-ride only thirty minutes or less.
Last night, before I went to sleep I thought about how people say they support & love you, but once you get used to a different setting away from them, they tell you how you seem to ignore them or how much you couldn't lend a hand on something particularly, my business. That's where I'm confused- I did ask for some help before but I was always turned down from my upline (like how I begged him to give me a downline on my left side of the group & he said he's not responsible for giving me one), & I also gave my time to help some of my downlines (if they could remember how I ran back & forth just to talk to the invites from the office & to McDonald's to explain how our business goes). All that I have done just to prove I am willing to help even if I'm not earning anything in the latter part of my business.
But once you get to detach yourself from something just to prioritize your future, people complain about how useless one can be. I apologize if I'm not there to support you guys now, but let's just say I wasn't even supported when I was starting out like the rest of you guys. The fact that some of your uplines didn't also show their faces up in the office, it's because they complained about a mismanagement from a certain upline & I was put on a pedestal where I have to protect all of you guys from any negative comments from our upline who boasts about how he expanded his group without any help whatsoever. Talk about gratitude, huh?
To the people who always say that I'm not there when they were at their lowest- just think about how much I suffered from the last couple of months & how much I was devastated to suffer the consequences. I'm not always there because I started thinking about myself for a change while I'm valuing the friendship that we have left. If you guys talk about how bad I am for not being there all the time, then what do you have to call yourselves when you were enjoying your lives partying all night, while I'm alone & not able to move on?
"FINE! Magsama n nga lng kau LAHAT! Pareparehas lng naman kau eh." What makes you a lot different from us anyway?
It's not really how I thought this post would even go, but one thing's for sure, I am more messed up than those other people you might know, but the only thing that separates me from them is that I don't see life as an obstacle, focusing on the rejections & people or things that they have lost, but I see life as a road you have to travel with God & with the people who really love you to be a better person in the future.
I'm gonna prepare for school now, hope this would be a good & productive day! Belated Happy Fourth of July in the United States! lol Sorry for the late greeting though. Oh yeah! I want to say hi to my blog visitors from the United Arab Emirates & my constant readers from Saudi Arabia & America! Yay! You guys are so awesome! Song for today: Green Light by John Legend.
Shaping in, shipping out, Allan :D
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