Well, happiness didn't really last for quite some time. Before I was enjoying reading some of the posts I have, I came across this post dated December 26, 2008 at 1:34PM- Previously on Trigger... & I can't help bursting into tears when I was reading it. It was when my father called me & said I love you.
Now when I think about it, I'm not really sure if he really meant it when he said that to me. I mean, I didn't even have the chance to spend a lot of time with him when he's here & I hardly knew him other than the fact that he plays the keyboard. I seriously didn't even feel I have a father.
Actually, I've never been angry at him, but I am so furious at what he's done to us. Sometimes I think he's being selfish because he always wanted to have a perfect family, & he didn't find it on us. However, at times I understand him & his situation right now, & all the time I think about the reasons why he had to leave us & not be contented to the family he once had. I don't blame my half-brothers & half-sisters for sharing a father, it's just that sometimes I wonder what they would feel about the situation when they grow up. I don't want them to feel we despised them... but what would they say about us?
Right now I'm just happy my mom found a father who really loves us like we were his own kids. Actually, it's my first time to have two people as your parents & I'm glad to think that my broken family isn't really broken at all.
It's my first time to have a dad whom I could share my ideas & opinions with. It's my first time to have a dad who texts me if I'm doing alright & if I'm having a good time when I'm away. It's my first time to have a dad who worries if I haven't eaten yet. It's my first time to have a dad who drives me to where I'm having my nursing duty. It's my first time to have a dad who picks me up at a bus station or at school after my community immersion. It's my first time to have a dad & I can see my mom looking so happy when he's around. It's my first time to have a dad whom I can really depend on. It's my first time to have a father whom I know will be there when I need him. It's my first time to celebrate Father's Day this year.
Father's day will be on the 21st of June 2009 & I just want to greet him an advance Happy Father's Day & to thank him for all the things him have done for my family especially to my mom. I know you hate this kind of stuff Dad- you know, cheezy stuff like this.. when my mom is texting you about how we didn't experience having a father until you came around- but seriously we can't help not saying anything about the things you've done for us & you're good intentions to my family.
Papa, if you're reading this... I'm feeling it's already too late for everything. To my Dad, thank you for loving & accepting us. If you think my family is still broken... guess what, you're the one who put us back together. :)
Shaping in, shipping out, Allan :)
Posts
0 comments:
Post a Comment