Here I am again trying to knock your cyber door, bringing you the mayhems life could ever get into. A techy hug to all of you people!
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You might think that these lines & dashes are just typo's, but it has a lot of meaning to me. This line represents my life right now. A couple of keys & boom! It narrates my whole life story right there.
To make it long, let's just say I'm struggling between what's good & what's bad right now. It's as if I'm changing from one person to another & I'm just scared that I may not know myself in a point where I really wanna know myself. I just realized that even when I want to entirely take this mask off & this balloon in my chest, there's something I can't emit in my nonexistent character. I have given my personality to everyone, but the thing is, they are confused because of the fact that they wanna know me better, & I just keep putting lies to everyone, giving me the impression that I'm like this to one person, but I'm like that to the other.
Sinning isn't also helping me to stay back on track. I keep telling myself that I'm an angelic person by showing that I'm such a good person to everybody else, but it's not helping me to see what kind of person I am today. I have hauled myself to the point where I have this twin beside me, the one who's pretending to be me. The sad fact about this is that he's always the one who keeps being me.
The only thing I wanna do this week is try to know myself, but it is so hard to try spend time with myself when everything is going topsy-turvy. It's also difficult because I prioritize my studies too, & we all know that we should give our very best to be the best. Just this Saturday morning I have encountered the lowest point in my life that might be riding along in my journey throughout this week.
I can try to make it throughout the day & I sure hell can try to seize the day with dignity. I can be my own author... but being one requires being nothing. :_(
It's still a blessed Sunday amidst the drama. I've been trying to write some songs but it's not just right when I sing it. Hopefully I could haul myself to be the person I'm sticking with. God bless & take care everyone. Special thanks to Icey, Karren, Cathy, Mafe, Anj, Jeah, Charlyn, Mark Lawrence, Chellang & Eric.
Signing off -A-
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