Bash

With fear flamboyancy towards brevity I cannot acquire. The endless nonchalant personality was not working. I composed some courage to try and blend with people. However, there's an aversion of some sort that keeps me isolated from the rest of the group. I cannot breathe... I clearly have to remind myself that this is my world now, whether I like it or not. The emptiness I must avoid for an overhaul. I made a choice that I must stay. It's reversible but I have to be constant, whatever the circumstances it may bring. I have a family... that is what is all about. Change is the only issue... not quitting nor remaining...

The endless torture was frustrating, but I must avert the feeling through a melancholy merriment. The wave of emotions continued to a false frenzy- addicting but a mistaken crevice. I was laughing, but it was a mask... a mask of utter regret, not to these people who enjoy a normal celebration & company, but to me who never was human. No matter how I try... I had friends but never permanent.

There's only a few hours left until this ceremony is over. I'm appalled by the wasted time. The clock is ticking & I'm not getting any younger.

I left without sudden permission...