12 o'clock in the 'Mourning'

As soon as the clock hit twelve o'clock, the vague appearance of my happiness started to disembark for the mourning period to come & fill its course into an end of something precious... life.

I don't know what to say to someone's someone who passed away. You can say I'm a little around the dark & twisty corner, but I cannot decipher what to say to a person who lost someone. Let's just say that I myself am not that good in convincing nor better in assuring that everything's gonna be alright. I'm just not that kind of person.

I think there was a time I had to talk to my classmate in elementary about how she should be happy that her grandfather died. I meant to deliver that she should be focused on the celebration of life- how her grandfather lived with greatness- rather than the agony of death... I failed to deliver it well.

The reason why I had to suppress myself into not seeing someone who just had lost someone is because I'm not that good at comforting someone. I feel really bad about the fact that I'm not good into talking to people. I'm also not good in confrontation, I rather prefer living in lies than finding out the truth. My dad, for instance, is whom I can't directly tell my feelings about how much he had hurt us for leaving to start a new different (maybe much better for him) family.

That's why I didn't exactly got happy today in my birthday, because if I did had a wonderful time today, I could hurt someone in the process. Why celebrate when they are mourning?