Per-FOUR-Mance

Hello everyone! I really have a bad habit of not controlling my anger when you know you're doing something right & people are trying to tell you the opposite. It was supposedly a good Friday morning last week & someone just had to ruin it.

If I have to evaluate my performance this second semester, I have to say I have done well when it comes to contributing my part to our class' seminar & it's a thumbs up in my part when it comes to sitting infront of class in Course Audit as well.

I don't mind criticisms as well, in fact I like how people understand my actions- it makes me aware of my performance in terms of my academic excellence. What I don't like is criticizing me behind my back & sharing false criticisms about me to the people whom I don't even know.


When I think about it, I actually am serious about the seminar from day one since I heard about it. I did not complain (maybe a little) about being in charge of the documentation team, I actually acknowledge it since I like doing projects like that. I did not complain when I was chosen as one of the masters of the ceremony since it's a good experience to enhance my vocabulary skills. I didn't even say anything when conflicts arise, not that I don't care or I'm not part of it, but because I'm always neutral & respect every ideas that are being shared.

It's like I'm going beyond my part as well since I volunteered to make the certificate which isn't part of my job at all. It's like I'm receiving two times the work load even if I still have three minor subjects that I need to prioritize as well.

I don't complain when I'm being criticized that I'm having a bad performance into something I really don't exert effort from. It's okay since I don't do it good enough like they do, but false criticizing me even behind my back was way overboard.

I couldn't really stop from complaining, resulting to my lack of effort in studying for NCM prelim exam because of my mood that afternoon. This is the bad side of silently doing more effort than everyone else- I don't really need nor even care when my performance is being complimented, but complaining about it when everyone knows that I'm doing more than a good job is something I couldn't really just trifled with.

One lesson I learned from all these is that sometimes you have to make yourself be known by your actions even when God knows what you've really done. If respect or reputation is being affected from those false criticisms, I'm holding my peace cause it's actually stupid for me to fight over something that it wasn't true & those people that I love knows what I'm really doing. BUT if my grade is being affected from them, then I really have the right to speak up.

It's what you call E-FOUR-T, because it's four times the effort in my performance. God bless us & those people who have to learn the art of criticizing... or more in the art of appreciating as well. Have a happy start of the week!

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne :D