Past Fasting

If you've been keeping track of Lefty's Journal since 2007, you can actually see my not so famous (& my infamous) journey through the use of my own context. Just like everyone else, there will always be bumpy pavements along the way. Until we reach a certain point where we need to give up to rise up.

Just like my recent post days ago, there are certain people that you have to momentarily forget when you move forward & start anew. Those people were not completely the good guys in your story; they can be the villains who betrayed you, or your victims who fought back at you. In order to rise up, that would be basically one of the things you have to do.

So as I was saying, the journey I've been travelling now has never been better. Seriously. I can't say that I'm not having problems in some aspects of my life, but they're not that big of a deal like before. It was a learning experience for me- having to ride that roller coaster life. But I'm 100% sure I'm not riding that anymore. Rather than earn money & respect from people, I even lost everything I've ever built for myself. & now I really am appreciating being incognito from almost everyone I know in the past.

I'm happy with the trail that I chose. It wasn't easy to enter this 'life lane' but I worked hard for it. & when you're just about to close the gates of your past, this person shove into my serene life & tried to get what I didn't take in the first place.

I can accept anger with a reasonable defense from anyone. But I fight back to those who are being judgmental. & one of the things this person said to me that really flared me up is that I am a 'scammer'. Wow! I know a lot of scammers (per se, my *eherm*) who takes your money & run away with it, but never did I become a scammer. I don't need to explain the things that I already laid out to her, but all I can say is that the money she used to make a 'reservation' to that company, went to (you know it!) my controlling used-to-be upline whom I trusted so much before.

& sometimes scammers use fake names to people they've just met. & she was even my schoolmate in high school, plus I wasn't even the one who convinced her in the first place. & I do blame myself for bringing her there, for giving the money to my upline so I couldn't spend it, & for telling her the lies my upline is telling me. I was in a very complicated pedestal, but I still received that jabs she gave me that weren't mine to take in the first place.

Although I want to tell her the person who took her money, I'm just gonna be responsible & do the right thing, since I'm trying to become someone who blames himself no matter how minute his contribution to a mistake is. I don't want to make excuses anymore, & there's no point in hiding either (Just a quick search for my blog or social networking profile will immediately narrate all the details about me). I think I just pointed out the villain, the victim who actually turned into a villain, & me who was once her villain who became both his & her victim in the end. Boy do I always like to play the underdog...

Anyhow, I apologize for exceeding to my usual length blog post. I just miss being around you guys whom I can tell my explanations & complaints to. & I'm really thankful for the 'nangs' some co-bloggers of mine have given me this week. I just found out my 209th song, For Your Entertainment, was one of the featured popular posts in the last 24 hours in Nuffnang Innit! Not only that, it's also one of the posts that topped today in imcurtain.com. Despite of my current trifle, I really am appreciating all your comments, nangs & the time you guys have given me to check out my blog. I love you guys! :D

Fasting from the unimportant past, Aldrinne :D