Getting ready for more...

I don't know with you, but I see myself as a different person everyday, & then there was my goals which never change, making me confused on what personality should I wear today to achieve them.

It's not really a bad thing. I get role confusion, but I'm not confused about gender stuff. It's just hard for me to choose a perfect humanistic character that I can be in the future. The one who'll define it as my character, & not really the goody too shoes nor the black sheep character.

I'm not depressed about finding the perfect personality, I'm also getting ready for more. It's quite fun, actually, trying to figure which suits me more. At one point you're being this 3 year old young man & then a serious 30 year old boy. It's not that tiring either; just imagine how many fun & exciting things you can do in a lifetime.

At exactly 2pm today, I'll be having my first hospital duty which is exciting but so nerve-wracking I can't even choose where to start reviewing about babies! I guess I'm lucky enough to be placed in Cardinal Santos Hospital, & super-duper lucky to be placed in their Nursery. I may not be doing American Idol Summer Tour Concerts with David Archuleta (T_T), but at least I'm with this cute little infants that I will appreciate even in the future. Awww, babies! I can't wait! :D

I need air for the moment to savor the last fresh morning air until I grew so tired (in a good way) on my studies. It's definitely gonna be a hell of a journey but I'll be feeling Heavenly good! I'm getting ready FOR more to HAVE more, hence, to BE more. I'd be experiencing every tribulation I could get & learn from it. I'd be sticking to all the people who loves me, & God who never ever left my side for 18 years. (Exhales)

Good... Better morning to everybody & have a nice Monday everyone. God bless & take care. Until then, you know you love me :D

Special thanks to Icey, Cathy, Karen, Mafe, Anj, Jeah & Charlyn :)

Signing off, iLan (gearing up for the concert)

88th Song- Just In Case You Forget

12 more songs & I'm gonna make history! Okay, not really, but I could get to book-bind it for memories sake... for my future job I guess, if ever I was destined to be a singer. ;) Anyways, I'll hit you with this cute lil' song :)

Just In Case You Forget

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

There’s a sign where you could go

A direction to let you know

There are people who just enter you

See their timings are a little off

Now if we thought they are so in love

Close the door & you’re wrong ‘bout vows

If we run & the moment’s wrong

Then congratulations, you just ruined my song

(Chorus)

Just in case you forget, I’m here

This little ‘magination will never disappear

All the while you could be my soul

Don’t ever underestimate the power below

(Just in case) you forget

Don’t you ever come mundane

Just in case you forget

Find a path so we could have somewhere to go on the go

When you hit & something turned up

I’ll go indecent & make it stop

I don’t care if they could judge

It’s their curiosity who’s finding the hunch

So if we thought they are so in love

Close the doors & you’re wrong ‘bout trust

If we run & the moment’s gone

Then congratulations, you just killed my hum

(Repeat Chorus)

Maybe I’m a little crazy ‘bout this feeling, oh baby

But there are things we should feel happy about

Just in case I forget it’s wrong

(Repeat Chorus)

Just in case you forget

I’m still all alone

Datinghood Society

I had a wonderful time hanging out with my four dates yesterday. You got that right! I'm no macho but they really dig guys who are nice. lol

Anyways, I watched Wanted yesterday with Anj, Cathy, Charlyn, & Dalal & woah! We were blown away by the movie. Having that movie-hang over, we pretended to be assasins in the mall, being Wilson & Fox trying to be cool. I had such a good time with them. I guess I needed the time out for tomorrow's duty in Cardinal Santos. I'm kinda excited but obviously nervous at the same time.

I'm gonna be fully tight in this week's schedule, so I really don't know if I can update you guys this week. I have this hospital duties & the prelim exams, so it's also gonna be a tiring week. Wish me luck you guys. :)

Special thanks to Icey, Karen, Cathy, Mafe, Anj, Jeah & Charlyn :)

Signing off, iLAN :)

Archu-Leyva Concert

"It's gonna be the best music experience you will never ever forget." Those were the last words of the international pop-star singer Allan Leyva in his interview about the up coming & most talked about concert with his fellow companion, David Archuleta.

The two famous singers, who happened to be close friends, planned a night where they would define music in a different way. There will be many suprises in store for the audiences. Just imagine how suprised were we when it intentionally rained in the last Charity Concert all over the stadium. The people were soaking wet, same as the singers headed by Leyva, but everyone had the best time ever.

"I guess 2011 would be a great year for all of us. We've been waiting for this concert to happen but we're just so busy with our schedule so we're really thankful that it'll finally happen." said by David Archuleta, who's songs today like "Always Will" & "Now" topped the charts on the music billboard.

The Leyva & Archuleta concert will take place in Hard Rock in New York from August 2 to 4 then on August 8 to 10 at exactly 8 in the evening.

"You definitely have to come early because we're gonna need you for the suprise." :)

Songs, Families, Friends, Updates!

'You Never Talk'. My Dad. Mom's friends. My Life as it is.

Hey ya'll cyber space readers! How's life treating yah? Okay, being a rodeo blogger isn't really my thing. Guess I just had to stick with the things I do best... updating memories from my two-day absence. Well! there's a simple reason to it, being so busy with school works... or maybe procrastinating a little. Okay! I admit, I'm not your so called hardworking kind of guy, but at least I try... Ahhh, let's just get into updates!

I made another song I started writing from July 7, & just finished it yesterday. Actually, this is one of the songs I've been doing together with my first attempt to make a tagalog song after all these years. Sigh! I'm having doubts about it but I'd let you know. I also made a list of song titles for future compositions. It's called You Never Talk & it's way different than I imagined. I'll post the lyrics later.

Cheers for my dad! He just made it so difficult to get through him. I'm not really that angry at him just because he's been ignoring us for a couple of months now & completely not answering my grandmother's call so she could tell him about my pinning ceremony. I'm just sad that my father can't even pick up the phone or turn on the computer so he could just talk to me. Anyway, since he has family there, who am I to judge, right?

Along with the downfall of my trust for my father was that of my mom's friends... or companions... I don't really know what to call them, since they're not having those sisterhood bonding thing anymore. I don't really know if she & her friends are having a fight or whatever, but one thing I do know is that she's been going through a lot lately. Just hearing her in the shower crying every chance she could get completely breaks my heart. Just imagine how you value your friends so much & they just talk behind your back. I don't really want to join this miscommunication party because it's not also my position to bother other people's lives, but I just don't get the point why do friends have to abandon one another after how much love you have given them, & everyone knows that when a mother gets hurt, her children do too.

Sometimes things just got out of hand, whether it be the beginning of a new song or the ending of a relationship. But even though we're in this hurting phase right now, I strongly believe that admitting it than running away from it is the most courageous & probably the bestest thing to do. Moving on is one thing, but facing it first will be the easiest way to confront it.

So much for that, I'm gonna hit the haystack already, so goodnight to all of you guys & God bless us always. :)

You Never Talk

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

I’m moving so close without you

I’m trying too hard to hate you

But tell you what, it’s not even working cause

I’m having some tribulation

In making some false redemption

You were my life & I cannot make a simple lie

To forget you

To upset you

Cause I never wanna turn a simple fight

Into some things we’ll surely hide

& I, don’t even wanna say goodbye

To end a life that I wanna try

& though, my feelings are new to you

I just, want you to know that these are true

So if, you’ll ever gonna be afraid

I’m still beside you, so don’t you fret

I’ll protect you

I will hold you

You’re making some wrong assumptions

I’m telling you now these ain’t true

But tell you what, I’d say the truth if you could just

Not be so judgmental

& set some good regulations

By now you’d feel the emptiness inside of me

To forget you

& regret it later

Cause I never wanna go, leave you alone

& set some boundaries you’d already haul

& I, can’t pretend it’s gonna be alright

Then lock myself up & just cry tonight

So I’m down on my knees & pleading for

A perfect chance to get my fall

I will be sensitive & try to lie

To them who surround us, I will find the right time

I’ll protect you

I will hold you

(Instrumental)

(Chorus)

You see what I mean

I’m making this clear

Tell me now you love me now

I never wanna be stuck in between

Stop the time as I go drown tonight

(Repeat Chorus 2x)

Cause I never wanna be alone for years

You’re just the one I was waiting for to see

You never talk

Special thanks to Icey, Cathy, Karren, Mafe, Anj, Jeah & Charlyn. :)

Signing off, ArchuLeyva

Mother Knows Bestest...

We always experience the bad feeling maybe once a day, the sick feeling- maybe once in a week, but the worst feeling, ah that can happen once in awhile. The former sucks even more because it's not only the event who's gonna blame you in the end, it's the people who are affected who's definitely gonna bring you down, no matter how close you are to them... or even a mother.

I'm not really a fan of her technique, you know, discplining the kids by shouting at them every chance you get, threatening them & slapping them, but I honestly understand why she's being these kind of an authoritarian. She's our mother & at the same time our father & I don't blame her for treating us dirt once in a while. Maybe we just deserve it, but to tell you the truth, if I become a parent myself, I'll promise that I will never physically hurt my child... because it's gonna hurt emotionally to them too, & I don't wanna do that. Trust me, both pain is gonna stimulate in a child. I still don't know if I'm gonna be a great parent someday, but I do know that I'm gonna protect my kids with my life. I may not even say it here but it's tattoed already in my heart & soul.

Being a parent must have been real hard as hell. It's so obvious how my mother was still overwhelmed after 18 years of having kids, but I have to say, she raised a fine, responsible (maybe talented) young man who's giving her a thumbs up in what she's good at... which is raising us. :)

Oh yeah, it only takes my mother to slap me hard on my shoulders while I was sleeping in front of the laptop to wake me up so she could remind me of how Meralco is being our enemy to think about these thoughts. That's why I love my mom, there's a hidden meaning behind those slaps & shouts. So it's not only the words who you have to read between & beyond the lines. Good nighty everyone & God bless. I'm just so tired because we had had our first orientation for our first duty in our first hospital. hehe

Special thanks to Icey, Karren, Cathy, Mafe, Anj, Jeah & Charlyn :)

Signing off, --A--

Ploys

I'm trying to be the one who can understand, but in the end, I'm the one who always takes the fall.

I'm admitting I wanna be vulnerable, but I don't wanna be blamed by misconceptions & miscommunications. For my sake, I'm the one who's always taking the bullet, but honestly, I just know that I shouldn't be the one people will talk bad about behind my back. You may say that you're not yapping bad stuff about me, but please, with my experiences in life, I can really tell. Now I know why we shouldn't talk behind else's back, we don't know anything about the person.

I have no idea how it's gonna turn our for us, but I know the topic's gonna stay for awhile. I'm not lifting any red flags here, why would I do that to a friend? I just know that without this sensitivity that comes so handy with life, I must've been believing the whole parts of the story.

Sorry for being such a bad guy. Trust me, you don't even know anything about me behind this wall. I'm keeping my eyes open for any ploys or rouse.

Know Thyself

Too many people see you the way you're not supposed to be seen. Too many people judge you the way you're not supposed to be known. Too many people treat you the way you're not supposed to be treated. It's the way of life in this world, but who cares about what they think, as long as you know yourself? Okay, I care a little bit... scratch that.

For so long we're being known by people by what we usually do, say or act. Sometimes, they overstep the border because they tend to give you a character that is completely not you. I admit I've been judging people, but I'm usually the one who gives a benefit of a doubt. The thing is, it kinda sucks being yourself in public & then they judge you just like that. Can't you just get to know the person before you think of any irrational thoughts?

For instance, look at me & my bestfriends Ice, Jeah, Achi Aileen, Weegy, Karen, Shanna & Lee. We're not really so close together before, & I tend to know the person by what people say, but dang! They became the people who just got into my circle. So it's not always you who have to know the person, let them be known by the way they should've known. For short, put aside the critic thing & know the person.

Anyways, enough of all of that. I just watched Hancock last night with Mitch, Nico, Joan & Tmac & tell you what, it's so good. Will Smith is definitely my favorite actor & you really have to watch it! :)

There are still many many things to finish, & I'm still having that post-morning laziness so I guess I have to start waking up now. Have a wonderful & blessed Sunday everyone, God bless & good afternoon!

Special thanks to Icey, Cathy, Karren, Mafe, Anj, Jeah & Charlyn :)

A little shoutout to my idol David James Archuleta in MySpace. I'm listening to your Longer right now & I'm waiting for you to finish that album. Good luck all of you in the tour. You said it yourself, you feel jubilant about it. :)

Signing off, Archu-leyva :D

What You've Missed

Guess I'm a little late to greet you all, maybe just the Americans, a Happy 4th of July, & to celebrate this moment, here's me again updating my life after a two day absence because of a broken DSL modem. (Dang it!)

Anyways, how's life treating us lately? It's a shame to ask you all this for the first time because I continue blabbing about my life without having the courtesy of asking your thoughts lately. Anyways, you're all free to comment about anything under the sun. I may not be famous, but I sure know how to give some of my time reading, so yey for me!

It's so good that I'm having these time to relax just before, during & after my school. I'm not saying I'm goofing off to my studies lately, but, you know, the pressure isn't really that big of a deal once you get used to it. Sheesh! After 16 years of studying, is it that new that we are being tortured by education? My point is, even if you're giving your 100% to your studies, you can still have the time to arrange those thoughts or meditate the stress away. So what I'm saying is that you're not just doing the best you can, you're doing what you think is the best for everyone. Go reward yourself anytime soon, & don't worry, those Behaviourist think it's better than working hard with punishments.

It's 12:52 in my clock & I still have to study for Pharmacology & go over through my SHE report but I'm not really that worried... okay I'm worried, but I'd come to a conclusion that everything will going to be alright.

Happy Birthday to Catherine "Direk Cathy" Bautista!

Good luck on the tour for the American Idols especially to David James Archuleta :)

Good mornight & God bless.

Signing off, iLAN

86th Song- Traveler

I don't have a clue whether it's a hidden blessing or just the way Karma wants to play, & I'm just not well enough to distinguish why Tonsilitis is such a pain. Well... I'm not really sure if this is the one I'm suffering to right now, but the diffused pain is kinda going down from my throat & into my stomach, so yeah! I have to make an intelligent guess.

I kinda enjoyed how my day turned out today. Besides being bored to the point of having Dyspnea, I actually had fun today with my 314 buddies. Let's just say we had made the first ever section 314 bloopers... & it involves a Ronald McDonald & a bus. Just thinking about it, it sure is a memorable one to everyone of us, & I bet we'll be having some constant laugh trips in our new environment.

Anyways, I finished another song that I have written awhile ago & I've decided to sing this song with my 'you've seen it coming' duet partner & one of my bestest friends, Icey Velasco! Though my days will never be different without them, I'm sure they're also having the time of their life just like mine. Anyways, here's the lyrics of Traveler :)

Traveler

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

Look out

Look out we’re gonna go back

Go back to where it started from

The love & lies, the people that I’ve trust

I am searching for a new life

Without those that protrude my selfishness

I rather work on my own confidence

(Chorus)

& I’ve, I’ve been waiting for a reason why

To live a life outside a watchful eye

Cause I’m a traveler in people’s eyes

It’s helping me in moving on

But I have to go back to begging for

A place where I create my happiness

A place where I create my (scat)

Fall out

Fall from the sky I know why

Know why you had to be alone

With all these fights & people who just devastate your life

We’ve been being so accountable

It’s time to, time to be unbearable

To let us breathe, I’m mortified that they won’t see the leaks

(Repeat Chorus 2x)

My love, there’s a limit to everything

We can’t always be in the perfect lane

But know that my faith is still the same

& there are people who just cry today

& just to break the ice I know

I’m having troubles in letting go

But then there was you who just keeps me wake

& found all the answers that made me safe

(Scat)

(Repeat Chorus 2x)

Cause I’m a traveler in people’s eyes

Special thanks to Icey, Karren, Cathy, Mafe, Anj, Jeah & Charlyn :) God bless & good evening everyone!

Signing off, Traveler