St. Valentine wants to play Part I

February 14, 2008- My most memorable Valentine's day. Honestly, everything was unexpected, & it turns out alright... yeah right! lol. Cupid must be bored... & I was the subject for his fun.

(Don't mind the fictional parts aryt? I just finished watching Gossip Girl & I kinda feel royalty hehe)

5:30pm - Spotted! Allan, left behind by Juanton, Yas, Weegy, Aileen & Mitch, plans to walk with his other classmates, Cathy, Jeah, Marisse, Anj, Charlene, Sheila & the rest of the class from South Cembo Gym after P.E. class.

Allan : Jeah, lakad tayo hanggang Market ha.

Jeah (Kunot noo) : Oo na.

Allan : Check ko lang bag ko... wallet (nilabas), iPod, phone, laptop...camera, ds... Nasan isang bag ko ng shoes?... Ayun! Grabe! I think I'm turning into a new leaf, di na ko nawawalan ng gamit! Yes! Halika na.

Jeah (Picture-picture sa kanyang phone dahil may suot siyang braces na candy) : Teka! Hintayin natin sina Cath.

Cath : Halika na. Let's go guys.

Marisse : Nagba-basketball pa sina Reggie. Mauna na kami.

--------- After 15 minutes of walking...

Allan (To Malana) : Bili kaya ako Rubik's Cube today? San na ba wallet ko?... (Kal-kal bag) Teka na'san wallet ko? (Kal-kal uli) Hala! wala wallet ko dito... (Kal-kal uli bag) Shocks! Wala talaga dito.

Malana : (Di namansin, naglakad lang ---> Bwisit!)

Allan (To Sheila) : Nawala ko ata wallet ko. Here I go again!!!

Sheila : Hala! Hanapin mo uli... akin na yung bag ng school shoes mo, bitbitin ko para hanapin mo wallet mo. (Naunang maglakad)

Cathy : Anu nangyari sa'yo, Allan?

Allan : Nawala ko na naman ata wallet ko. Di ko makita dito (sige! kal-kal lang)

Anj : Hala! Anu bang klaseng wallet yun?

Allan : (Pa-susyal) Well! It's an original Louis Vuitton wallet, brown siya. Shi-yocks! Pusang hilaw naman oh!

Marisse : Hala! Yun ba yung brown? Nakita namin kanina yun, nasa tabi ng bag ni Reggie. Kala namin sa kanya yun, kaya hindi namin tinanong.

Charlene : Pano yan?

Anj : Magkano ba nandun?

Allan : Small amount lang naman eh, P9K? Kaso yung dalawang platinum credit cards ko nandun, hala! Damn it! (Sabay pukpok sa ulo) Balikan ko kaya?

Charlene (Nanlaki mata pero worried pa rin) : Ang layo na eh. Baka sinara na yung gym.

Allan : Shocks! Sana makuha ni Reggie yun. Alam ko nakikita niya wallet ko eh, baka malaman niya sa'kin yun. Hay nako! (Pukpok uli sa ulo)

Cathy : Text mo na lang siya, sabihin mo kuhanin niya na lang tapos magkita na lang kayo sa Market.

Allan : Sige sige! (kal-kal uli ng bag) Wait! Ds... Macbook Air...

Charlene : Air?

(Biglang tumogtug sa background ang New Soul ni Yael Naim, bumukas ang tv sa isang junkshop sa tabi ng kalsada at pinakita ang ad ng Macbook Air.)

Charlene : Ahh...

Allan : Carrying on with my sophisticated pagkal-kal ng bag... Where am I? Right! Macbook Air... Camera... iPod... Flash disk (5GB)... cellphone? Nasan yung phone ko? (kal-kal uli) Shocks! Nasan iphone ko?

(Patay)

End of Part 1

Belated Happy Hearts Day & Chinese New Year to all. Plus, Happy Flag Day in Canada. Of course, Advanced Happy President's Day in the United States. Lastly, Advanced Happy Birthday to Washington (February 22).

3:46am

Sometimes we thank God for having a family & a set of friends... but at the end of the day, you're just... alone.

It's not that I don't feel their presence & love, I just can't really place myself to what they are & what they have. It's also not that I'm different to them, I'm just not similar to them.

I'm not a deviant person, but when I think about it, maybe I am. The thing is, I had to rub my eyes infront of the mirror, & when I see this person looking at me, I doubt that what he looks isn't really what he is.

I think it's just a matter of still finding my purpose in life, that is why I'm occasionaly having this kind of dilemma resulting to being a nocturnal blogger. I cannot find the main reason why I still need to live. It's really hard in my part, & I know I'm not the only person who knows about it.

I just need a little appreciation, I guess. I'm not much of a bragger, but I do want someone to tell me I'm doing a great job. Maybe from this point, I maybe one step closer to finding the real me.

I'm posting this thought not to show that I'm updating my blog, but to share what I feel right now. To everyone else, have a good day today & God bless.

Still Alive!

Surpirse! Surprise!

It's so good to be back. Woah! it's been awhile since I last posted something here. Last year my computer went for a long, long vacation, so I haven't had the chance to say Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to everyone. I really cannot find a computer technician to fix my computer. Plus, I celebrated Christmas & New Year in Cavite & Las Pinas with my uncle & grandmother. There's also no signal there, so I can't contact everyone. I really am sorry for not greeting you all. But I hope everyone had a fresh new start in 2008.

This year is going to be different, I really can tell. =)

Psssttt! Hey You!

Yes you! The one checking out my profile! Haven't you heard? You're part of my blog? Yup! so try & visit it! ^^

<Don't mind the crazy parts aryt?>

                                             -iLAN-

Everything is Better Than Before!

To those people who made me what I am today- Thank you for shaping the real Allan. I like to believe that I, myself am a product (iAllan) & all of you guys are the reason why I keep myself changing for the better. It doesn't really matter if you're the good or the bad guy in my story, I don't even care if I was the bad guy in your's. The thing is, what you have done really made a big impact in my life. Because of you people, I became a good, loving, caring, & an honest person. Because of you, life became very hard- the reason why I became strong. Because of you, I learned to become a person.

To God- I know you already know what I will write, because You are the only one who knows me in & out. Thank you is not enough to give back everything that you have given, but You said all we need to do is to follow & obey You. & even though sometimes we don't do the way the way that You have told us, You still give us something we need. Thank you, thank you, thank you God. ~~I love you more than you'll ever know~~ Actually, you do know. Thank you God for accepting me here in friendster as one of Your soldiers. ^^

Happy Holidays to everyone!

Everything will be better than before!

Everything is better than before! ^^

Pretending to be Busy

It's quite funny how people say they're so busy, but they actually do nothing. I do that, telling people I'm occupied with tons of school works but when I think about it, I do have a lot of free time! Wow! It's been a long time since I last posted something here. I also didn't get a chance to upload some music I've been listening lately. Anyways, I'll be having my Prelims in Monday so wish me luck, cause I'm really not that paying attention to some of the subjects (Let's just say my Christmas spirit started so early), but I'll really study hard tomorrow. I'm just really really tired from school, but I can't sleep. I think it's also because of the chocolates I had a while ago.

No dramas for today. Though I'm freaking tired, I still am happy. But I do need some doses of Hale & Maroon 5 to make my day more complete. =)

<Starting to make a new profile design for Christmas>

Confessions of a Hopeless Person

Good morning everyone!


Guess what? I couldn't sleep again... it must've been this thing I'm feeling right now, or maybe just the green tea frap. lol


Anyways, just to be different, I'm feeling kinda happy today. I don't know if it's the song 'Bubbly' which keeps me from feeling great.


You see, I first thought that I was hopeless from everything... but something is changing... is it because of the weather?


I should've been very tired right now since school has started again... it was a little pain in the ass, but hey! I miss studying :)


I still have many answers to seek & time to grow... I'm just holding on... I will hold on, you see.
Thank You God for a beautiful day (though I have BioChem today)

STOP

At this moment, I would appreciate if everything would just stop...


To those people who really know how to express their anger- STOP shouting!


To those who give "friendly" advices that humiliates people- STOP backstabbing!


To those who has other people's personality- STOP pretending!


To the people who can't keep their mouth shut- STOP talking!


For those who cannot keep their promises & keep assuring people they will try their best to keep it- STOP lying!


To those who seem to see the real beauty of the world but has no time to look into the mirror- STOP judging!


To those who love to be someone else & envy other people- STOP comparing!


To the people who can't seem to be contented to one lover- STOP cheating!


*If you need a shoulder than a critic, then*


To the people who think their lives are full of crap- STOP believing!


To everyone who just need to take it slow & relax- STOP working!


For those who seem to be in a wrong path- STOP walking!


For those who are being pushed & pressured by people, let themselves be victims of false fate & can't stand up from everything- STOP falling!


For those who just need time to close their eyes & be separated from reality- STOP thinking!


To people who just need to cry- STOP fake-smiling!


To everyone else- STOP... just stop it... 

You Don't Get to Judge Me

You can tell me you're dissapointed


You can tell me you're angry at me


You can even rub it on my face


But you don't get to judge me, & you have no right to tell me things based on what you can see, because you don't even know me... you didn't even have the slightest chance to know me, so don't tell me who I am... because I, too, am confused.


I just hate it when people throw something negative even when it isn't true.

*Breathe* I'm just so angry today... but I shoudn't...

3:24AM Thoughts

I don't know if I'm the only one who thinks about this... actually, I don't even know what to think...


I'm just tired of everything from this moment. I keep wondering how I end up here- sitting in front of my computer, alone... after all the things I asked to myself. Why can't I be someone else? No... How did I become like this? I don't even know the person I am now, & the hardest part is, I am not pretending... or am I?


There's so much things revolving in my mind right now, but I feel so blank. I don't have any problems, but its as if I am carrying the whole world.


I should've become a better person... but I should be this person right now to be someone I want. At first, I blame destiny & the rest of the people for my fate... but kinda think of it, I guess your own desicions are the cause of what you are & have right now, destiny & those people just... just...


I can't cry, but I can't be happy either... I feel so fulfilled, yet empty... I feel I have won something, but I keep losing everything. Is this just a stage? Because it really gives me a fright, & I keep worrying I might kill myself.


I do need God, I do need love, I do need something that will fill my humanity, & I have them, I just can't feel it... I really can't.


I don't understand myself... & the rest of the world. & why do I even sob... I know I am contented... I think... am I searching for something more? I don't know... I honestly don't know.


What should I do now? Go to bed, wake up, prepare for the day, watch tv, talk to people, meet new people, eat, sleep, & wake up again? It's just keep going... I'm getting tired... very tired. What is my purpose? I know serving the Lord is one... but what is my PURPOSE?


I do need God, I do need love, I do need a purpose... I have God, I have love, I have a purpose... I do need God, I do need love, I do need a purpose... I have... nothing for now.


Tears are now forming in my eyes, but I can't cry... wait.


What is it with life anyway? Can I just dissapear for now?


I want to dissapear...


I just want to have something.