Ctrl Damned

If I could undo everything today, I really would. You know, all that stressing activities & feeling not being cared by my friends really just got into me, & now, I'm having this habit of blaming myself at the end of the day. I just don't know what to do... & that's just great!

Do you have this feeling of giving everything you got, & when you're there to let them see it, they were not there to support you? The worst part was that they cared about someone so much rather than me. I mean, I'm not jealous or anything but... I'm not just a character in a story where they could just kill me or something, no... that sucks when they treat me like one.

What a perfect season ender this drama had had. I mean, that's what I love about reality; you'll never really know when everything that was up there would come down in just a couple of seconds...

Signing off, Needing someone

Secretary's Note

Guess who's running for secretary in the student council? I could've imagine David Archuleta being my assistant secretary, but I guess he's just too busy going for the gold in today's finals of American Idol Season 7.

Speaking of being busy, what the hell is happening to me? I couldn't even fill a week of messages here in May. I guess the impact on getting pretty busy really got into my butt lately... no wonder it's big...

Anyways, my last two weeks have been dedicated to school & everything about school. It's all about being, you know, attentive in your duty, especially when 'the going gets tough.' Certain problems may arise but it's all good... I mean everything is just a blast! You know, it's like making it to the finals & you're just there... with the feeling of serenity & the power to acheive everything. More to that, you'll be able to feel like today's your day, like there will be no chance in heck that I would get depressed to anything that will go likely infront of me.

At least I still get to boost myself even though next week is gonna be my last week of summer classes & the start of hibernation again lol.

Nothing has changed, I guess. I'll be writing more songs that's coming from this little vessel of emotions, but now, being focused on running for Secretary & passing summer classes with flying colors are what I should prioritize just for a few more days.

God bless & have a good day to everyone. I promise I'll be posting more blogs here in Lefty's Journal.

Special thanks to Icey, Cathy, Karren, Mafe & Anj :D

Signing off, Secretary Archuleyva! Love it :D

In my throne again...

From the rising fame of the two Davids in American Idol to the fall of China because of the earthquake, there's still me who exists to continue the path that I God had planned for me to take.

This is the very first time this year that I skipped blogging for a couple of days. I really cannot blame myself because every little bit of life's tribulation is moving me & sipping out all of the energy that's inside me, & all I could do is to be dragged along & not complain about it.

You might be wondering why I didn't have any time posting something here... let's just say I'm really out of time for everything. Imagine going to Starbucks from eleven in the evening upto two in the morning just to finish a project, then sleeping at three and waking up at five. Not satisfied? Then imagine doing two scrapbooks in just one full night; researching the topics & of course, designing it. I spent an all nighter for that. Still not satisfied? Then maybe you're one my classmates today- trying to juggle it all.

It's kinda ironic, actually, to think that these are only temporary in making yourself a better person but it's taking you forever to pass them. I know that in the end it's all gonna be worth it & that you'll be rewarded with full of surprises, but I think I want to get my reward now... even just a complete bed rest for the whole day. That would be so good!

Lots & lots of school works are still needed to be finished though summer classes are finally going to end... I think we only have two weeks left until another one starts sometime later in June. Expect a heck of an adventure in hospitals! Oh yeah! I got to have my own Grey's Anatomy now! & to sum it all up... I think I'm running for the position of secretary in student council...

Have a good day to everyone & God bless! Take care! :)

Signing out of my throne, King David :)

Special thanks to Icey, Cathy, Karren, Mafe & Anj :D

...& everything else

Another week finished & I feel so relieved! It's been a week of tribulation, disasters, & fun moments here in this little world of mine.

In life we always experience unexpected turns, whether good or bad. That's what I have done this week, took unexpected turns, & at first I thought it's a mistake, but then again... who knows? It's just the way we learn something about life, & though change is rather a pessimistic thought, everything can't always be the same.

We have to be brave in everything- that's one of the lessons I really haven't learned this week, but rather, prove to myself that courage is next to independence, & even if I'm just an 18 year old, I still wanna be the guy who can stand alone without any hands that lend a help... because, based on my experience, there won't be any hands to reach you & pick you up. A sad thought, but a true one.

I haven't realized I haven't updated my blog for... two days? I think I'm just soooo tired to do anything right now, & today I haven't made any promises to myself that I will study or do some exercises because I just need my vacation so bad. That's procrastinating, I know, but what can I do? If you haven't noticed yet, being dragged around 24/7 can give you the right to just sleep yourself away 'till tomorrow's school.

I'm a little needy, but isn't it a super-duper cliche? We all are needy people & we need something to get something, & at the end of the day, you just need to rest.

Another great achievement for me today is that I already had 79 songs! Yeah! With two new songs I'll be posting later this week. It's called Battlefield of Love & Make Me Feel Alright. In those two songs, I again imagined David A. singing it with me... oh my! I have got to stop my obsession... well, it's an inspiration so... undo... lol. Speaking of David A., woah! I loved his performance from Wednesday's show, Simon said it himself- "You didn't beat the competition, you crushed it!". Though I already know that the other David is more likely gonna be the next A.I., well, I think that night David A. got back to his game & proved that he can be one too.

So okay, I'm tired & happy about the songs & A.I., took unexpected turns & signing out!

God bless & have a good night everyone! Take care.

Special thanks to Icey, Cathy, Karren, Mafe & Anj. :D

Signing off, Battlefield of Love- Allan Aldrinne Leyva Feat. David Archuleta (So cool!) :P

*Puff Puff

I really miss being dismissed early. Seriously, I never felt so happier when we were allowed to go home at, I don't know, maybe four pm? All I know is I saw daylight again! hehe

When I arrived home, I went straight to bed & woke up at 9-ish. I'm so relieved having the feeling of satisfaction & contentment from the day I had, plus the rest that I needed so badly. At least I get to spend time with my pillow before I go back with my school bag.

Although I had so much to do today, I think I'll be putting everything behind for now & put a little attention to myself. I've been doing school stuff so much that I never realized I've never been having my me-time, so I decided to take the time off & just sleep myself away. Yeah!

I'm also writing a song later. It's gonna be a different one! Rn'B baby! lol That is so not me... but I think I could pull it off. What do you think?

Special thanks to Icey, Cathy, Karren, Mafe & Anj :D

Signing off, Home Spa

11:42 pm Thoughts

Life...

It may sound so ordinary to everybody

It may be used for any sorts of general cliches

It may sum up everything that has happened for a second or a lifetime

It may also be a dramatic opener to any sentimental know-hows

As it begins to constantly wither in any dictionary that you may find, one can always look for life than having a book telling you what it really is. Though maybe simple to define or to describe, it's still complicated how the word life & everything else that revolve around it exist the way it should not exist.

Sure we can define the word, but it isn't enough to apply it to yourself.

I'm maybe lost, & I always find life a very hard thing to keep.

...Questions...

Friendster's Horoscopes

I'm not really much of a horoscope-believer, but honestly, I've been keeping updated with my horoscopes here on Friendster, & I really really like it.

Since I'm a Cap-rius, meaning a Capricorn & Aquarius, I've been appreciating horoscopes lately, I guess it's because it gives you advices on how you should deal life today. It's quite witty, being updated everyday & not running out of ideas & advices, so I'm giving them a thumbs up. Thank you Mr. Friendster. :)

Another week with another term for me... of course, can I not include mayhems? Probably not.

It's gonna be a tiring but great week, I can tell, especially because we're having cooking class in our Nutrition subject! Woohoo! Finally, something I really wanna do for a long time here in my school. At least before I get bored in Microbiology, I'm doing something exciting. Our group decided I should be the designer of our dishes, & it's gonna be so uberly cool! I'm researching for different kinds of food designs right now.

As for the rest of my day, I'm gonna continue reading Microbiology for sure. Maybe I'll go out later just to prove I'm not a vampire who sleeps at mornings & is awake during evenings... wait, I'm always awake because of school.... zzzz

Anyways, Merry May-hems to everybody. There will be a new moon tomorrow... I don't know what time & I'm not really sure so let's just wait & see...

God bless & take care everyone. Special thanks to my readers out there! You know who you are. :D

Signing off, Nutritionist major in Food Designing :P

Saturday Night Live!

77 Songs!!! I'm on an emotional-music roll, & though my days are making me a complete mess, I guess every bit of my feelings put in those songs are all worth it, I think it comes with the new hair. :D

Later I'll be posting the songs that I have made. I'm also thinking about my second album haha & it's called Strive & Thrive with new hits. <Smiling>

My days are pushing me down to the lowest point of my life every now & then, because of school & all the things that revolves around them. It's been hard dealing with the ocean waves of my life, especially when you're underneath them, but of course, it's all gonna be good when you reached the shore.

My midterm exams are sooo hard, talk about medieval torture. I really hope I could pass the tests because I really, really worked hard for it... not really, but I pulled up a show in my school so it must be really worth it. I don't know but I feel I shouldn't worry about everything right now... finding peace amidst the storm... maybe tempest is what I'm doing now, before it'll be Monday again, where I have to be a busy, busy bee to pass summer.

Within my circle there are few enough people who entered my life, & I'm so thankful for that. Do I have to state the reason?

Anyways, I think I had enough rest for today... Rest, not sleep. The word 'sleep' doesn't exists in the nurses' dictionary anymore. It's just the way it is.

I'm posting the four recent songs that I composed including the alleged Never Had I, duet with David Archuleta... in the future. David, if you can feel my presence now... lol. Along with Never Had I are This is Your Point, Hurt No More & Bring Me Back to The Happy Days whom my friend Juanton requested. As for me, I'll be downloading youtube videos all night... not really. hehe, I'm going to read in advance in Microbiology... suprised? Yeah! Me too. :)

This is Your Point

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

I get your point that I can be over something just for a night

& I see that your decision from leaving the rendition is just a fake ride from all the lies

Happiness is all I got

Darker it may seem but I’m alright

Just bite me off tonight

You could never really tell

If love is something we both share

Just tell me if you’re ready to bear

All what you have done for the past few years

Every teardrop that fell because of you

You alone had start the game

I’m just the one who finished it

So if this is your point, then it’s alright

Oh!

& now I see that you had put ourselves into your past amends

It’s alright cause I know that you’re making this stories up with you & I

Happiness is what I lost

Not contented anymore

Close your door cause I’ve closed mine now

Now I could always really tell

What happened when you left me there

Just tell me if you’re ready to bear

All what you’ve become for the past few years

Every changes that you’ve always reappear

You alone had fished the lake

I’m just the one who reeled it in

So if this is your point, then it’s alright

Oh!

I never really wanted to continue being cold to you

It’s your idea anyway to break us two & cut us too

You left me with your letters, you expect me to reply the truth

Uncertainty is broken, now I’m always on the place of fools

You love me with your hatred; I become a never part of you

I’m begging then but you refuse, so now I’m always thanking you

Because if you had chosen me to get a little close to you

I’m not sure if I get to breathe with someone that resembles you

Because of what you have done for the past few years

Every teardrop that fell because of you

You alone had start the game

I’m just the one who finished it

So if this is your point, then it’s alright

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Bring Me Back To The Happy Days
Allan Aldrinne Leyva

You never failed me

You always show up everytime

& when I am lonely

You speak of the right words to make me fine

You’re the one who laughed with me

Still the one who cried with me

& I open all my doors

Change will come but you’ll remain

(Chorus)

Would you bring me back (3x)

To the happy days

& when life had pushed us hard

You were there to make it easy

Though sometimes we always fight

I know that it’ll be alright

You’re the one who crossed my lane

& the one who’s with me dancing in the rain

I was made because of you

Now my life would be so sure

(Repeat Chorus)

Would you hold my hand?

& never let me go

Would you bring me back to the happy days?

(Repeat Chorus 3x)

You never failed me

You always show up everytime
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Never Had I

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

Ifthe truth came to a point where I will cry

It’s better if we just put things into a lie

& if I can’t have you

Then I’ll choose to be wrong than true

If destiny came to a point where we won’t meet

Then I’ll bow my heads & pray that we would live

Though it’s blasphemy

I still believe that you love me

(Chorus)

Never had I been searching for my strength

& use it for the pain that you have mend

Never had I been falling hard

Never had I been playing numb

Never had I been living with despair

Love is just the hardest thing to do

Tried to tell it’s worth it but I’m always so confused

& now I’m all alone

Hold me now before I go

Life won’t be the same is just so typical

You have seen the future, now I’m holding all for you

You came & you have stayed

But with someone else

(Repeat Chorus)

Never had I been taking all the tests

But in the end, I’ll see that you just played me with the rest

Never had I been looking for

A person who just makes you fall

Never had I been blaming to myself

(Repeat Chorus 2x)

If the truth came to a point where I will cry

It’s better if we just put things into a lie

------------------------------------------------------------------

Hurt No More

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

It’s been a little bit quiet here

Don’t care if you would like to disappear

Apart from me, they know you’re wrong

A suspect of my heart, you know you don’t belong

If you think I’m right to where you want me to be

& that I’m fooled by your anatomy

Stop, think twice, I’ll be a little nice
I’ll give you some minutes for you to throw the dice

(Chorus)

I never said I’ll be alone

If you go home

All your mistakes I have known

Let you go, hurt no more

Go back not if you’re here to obliterate

I’ll do the things you can’t commemorate

I should’ve known from the start

You came just to break my heart

Like when you hide the things I should’ve shown

I could’ve said that you’re incredible

Lies are what you say to me

I’m wiser now than what you think of me

(Repeat Chorus)

You’re a mess, don’t commence (2x)

Give me back all what I gave (2x)

Don’t you come back cause I moved on (2x)

Ladies tell me if she’s gone

Gentlemen give me one more round

(Repeat 2x)

(Repeat Chorus 2x)

(Repeat Bridge)

------------------------------------------------------------------

God bless & Good night everyone!


Special thanks to Icey, Cathy, Karren, Mafe & Anj. :D

Signing off, Champ Archuleyva

May. Midterms. Mayhems.

I'm such a bad person... but I should be when you're protecting your rights as a student, especially when you feel like you've been disrespected.

This isn't gonna sound nice, & what I'm gonna say isn't applicable to all the security guards out there... just in my school. They got to stop being 24-hour bastards all the time. Damn! Do they know the word concern?

Awhile ago I pulled up a show in the school hallway, I shouted at the guards about how they should understand the word autonomy. They're like robots who only do what they need to do, regardless of what the students will experience.

What's the use of their brain for, anyway?

I'm not usually the type of person who shouts at people because I have high respects to them, but it's not the same when you're being treated low. It just hurts in my part.

Anyways, got to keep studying. I'll be posting my 74th song that I have written & it's gonna be a duet between me & my David Archuleta lol. It's called Never Had I.

Peace!

Signing off, MicroAllanogist :D

Merry May-hems!!!

I never realized I've been blogging my life here for 6 months already, & it's a good thing to let my feelings be placed to somewhere I could read from this heart of mine.

The start of May was not really the day that I wanted it to be. I mean, I'm happy because it's my brother's birthday & he was enjoying every minute of it, but all day I'm so worried because this procrastinator (referring to myself) just can't handle studying 15 chapters of Nutrition & NCM for less than 24 hours. I'm so depressed because what I'm doing is not the regular activity of an 18 year old, but that's the consequences of taking up Nursing.

For obvious reasons, I'm always distracted from studying... like writing here. But I don't consider blogging a bad habit, I think it's  already a part of my daily activities, & it's not really time-consuming but time is so cruel.

I'm also blaming school. Can't they imagine we're being dragged around from 8am to 6pm with 2 hours of going home & still be opt for going to school the next morning? Can't they at least think that we're only sleeping for less than 5 hours & give us only one day to study two major exams? Can't they imagine that this day that the school gave us is only for us to rest more? Can't they realized that we're studying 500 pages of Nutrition, NCM 100 & Microbiology for only a day? Geez, what the hell is happening to them?



I know taking a little challenge is what I love but dang! I took this 'little' challenge 3 weeks ago... you know, summer school from 8 to 6? I just don't know what to do anymore, I'm brain dead but feeling every pain of it.

Only nine hours to go until the exams will start, & I'm so not ready for it. I got to stop procrastinating cause it's gonna kill me even more. I'm expecting a tombstone in my chair later in the exams.

To splur things up a bit, I'm happy that my David A. is still on the track. I didn't like his performace but I'm happy of the results. I know that the other David is gonna win because he deserves it more that David A. does, but I have always looked forward to seeing David A. after American Idol...

Anyways, got to set my priorities straight, I'm maybe skipping a post tomorrow to burn my eyebrows in Microbiology for the midterms on saturday, but wait... what's the use of burning it when you have no eyebrows because of Nutrition & NCM100 Midterms tomorrow? Just kill me now... please.

Special thanks to the people who visit my blog. You already know who you are... :D

God bless us everyone & Good night.

Signing off... Happy May-hems