205th Song- Thrice the Pain

Thrice the Pain

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

    

I never need some deepest lines

To say what’s going on your mind

But always think of this

Your pain, I can’t resist

   

So I’m working hard to bring you joy

I made you happy like a toy

But what can I do now,

If the cause of your pain is me?

     

(Chorus)

I never intended for myself to break your heart again

Cause everytime you dip into your pain

It always hurts me then

& I couldn’t even smile

Couldn’t ever try to give you strength or hand

If I hurt you

Remember, I’m always hit by thrice the pain again

   

It’s been three months when we became

One in front of everyone

I know that I could bring

The rain amidst the sun

  

I wish you’d say

At least we’re ‘kay

I don’t want our love to dive

Six feet on the ground

All because of me

(Repeat Chorus)

    

Everytime you cry

I’m always saying that I wished I’d die

Everytime you cry

I’m always saying I wished I’d tried

To stay away from you

Just to see you happy again

But I’m a selfish man

You’d probably knew it then

(Repeat Chorus 2x)

Moment Memos

I've always thought that life is a slow process. Well, in the mundane parts of my life, it maybe is. But million moments & miracles do not show up in life all the time. They happen spontaneously, leaving a mark in my memory. & those moments were the days that I really live, giving me the conclusion that life is on its fast-paced lane.
  

& there are moments where I never really cared about anything. Moments where I slept the whole day. A moment where I got drunk for the first (& last) time with my friends & had my worst hangover in the morning. Moments where I slipped, fell, & stood up, only to find myself slipping again. Moments where I ventured in every direction without any particular destination. Moments where I cry with or without any reason. Moments where I caught myself doing good & bad things. Moments of my worst experiences. Moments where I made bad decisions of my life.
  
Those moments were rather a mess when I compare it with my glory days. They can be those moments which you can just forget just to pave way for the more important things. Sometimes they can bring you humor. But when I think about them, they were the moments that gave me the ability to differentiate true happiness from, just happiness.
   

Sure I had my moments where I never really cared about anything. Cause I was either dancing the night away, or dreaming good dreams in my sleep.
   
I had my moments where I slept the whole day. It's cause I was awake the whole night, spending time with my real families & friends. 
   
I had my moment where I got drunk with my friends & had my worst hangover in the morning. But I still felt really happy.
   
Moments of my downfall. & for that I regained my self-respect & able to stand up on my own, willing to do it again for the sake of learning.
   
Moments where I got nowhere else to go. & for that I inculcated my true directions in life... & beyond life.
   
I had my moments of crying. But after those sessions, I felt stronger.
   
Yes, I had my moments of pointing out my good & bad things. For that I built better qualities for my personality.
   
Moments of my bad experiences. They allowed me to distinguish what the good experiences are. 
   
Moments where I made some bad decisions of my life. & for that I learned how to decide, think before I make a decision, & evaluate their results.
   
It's actually your own point of view; life can either be fast or slow for you, & can either be good or bad. But one thing's for sure. Some moments, even when they aren't that any good, are still worth the pain.
   

Making a million memories, Aldrinne :_)

I Inspire Me

Bad things happen for a reason- to grow & learn from them. This is basically the best way for people to swerve back to their destined lane.

We always wanted to be in a good place, that's for sure. But to be in that good place, sometimes we have to lose or sacrifice some other things that we value. At times those lessons are not really that worth it. But you'll never know how much it'll help you someday.

You start to hate yourself more than the person who wronged you. Having constant thoughts about believing him/her in the first place, or about the things that you've probably might have done for this person to pull a stunt like that to you. You blame yourself for choosing the wrong decisions in life. & even when you fake a smile, at the end of the day, it's not just enough to remove that stain.

In the midst of your fall, you consult the people that might help you to regain your stance. They are the ones who have been truthful to you, gaining distance to the people who throws bad stuff at you. Those people will help you stand up... but I bet they're still not gonna make you get up.

Because, even when they try to help you, you'll never gonna be able to move forward... unless you help yourself to move. Cause even when people might tell you the things that you needed to do to become better, there's no other person whom you can cling to but yourself. Cause even when there's a lot of people who you can call your hero, there will always be you whom you can call your own. Don't be afraid to fail because only through failure do you learn to succeed.

I am my own hero. I am my own rock. I am my own best friend. I INSPIRE ME. Aldrinne :D

Past... Tense

When you move forward, there are a lot of things & people you get to leave behind. Not that it's not your fault nor you just don't like these people. It's just that moving on, no matter how slow or fast its pace is, is a transition where everything, whether important or mundane, must be restarted.
  
Sooner or later, you find yourself in a different environment. Doing the things you're not doing before. Having new sets of friends whom you fit into. Basically living the life in a new perspective. Until you reached the point where the old life was just a thing of the past.
  
Sometimes this new life of yours go back to the way it was back then, but all the time it gets to change a bit. & at the end of the way, you get to remember those people & things that were, before, the ones that revolve in your world.
  
& then at some random day, they show up again. & whether or not it feels good, one thing's for sure- you can never escape the past.
  

It is a small world after all, Aldrinne :D

Employment

'Welcome to the world of employment,' I told myself. Hey, if you have to enter a new phase in life, better to greet myself, right?
  

Things that have kept me really busy during the no internet dilemma was to apply in certain companies that offers a job that is related to my profession. I mean, there's still time to review for the boards & I don't wanna rush everything, so I choose to earn money first than waste my time bumming in my home.
  
Besides, I really want to have some work experiences. I really don't care much about the salary, just having to finish my course & really earning from the real work that you've done is enough for me. How can you enjoy the luxuries of life when you don't have any directions or friends, right?
  
Last Monday, I had my first job interview & a typing test which is a good experience for me. I just hated that I didn't receive any calls verifying that I got the job. Oh well, better luck next time I guess. They kinda hire people with work experiences, & I don't fit that quality.
  
Today, just after the 'media-inspired' elections, I have a second job interview at a health related company & I really wish I could get the job. The salary's not exactly a bed of roses, but it's a chance that I  must take so I could finally have something to put on my recent employment tab on my resume the next time I'm going to apply. *Smiles*
  
Kinda think of it, I kinda am more excited in this employment thing than my past networking business; sure you can earn really big & you get to control your working hours, but the truth is, I'm not really happy doing it. I have lost a lot of friends & the respect of my mom cause of that business, & money doesn't really make me happier either. Anyways, time to put all that to rest. I'm thankful I entered that kind of business though. Because of networking, I think I became a much better person... & I can sleep every night now. lol
  
Anyways, wish me luck on my interview today. God bless & take care everyone! :D
   

Employee of the Eternity, Aldrinne :D

Voting & Visiting

Told you I'm gonna be back as soon as you remember visiting this site. Okay... hello everyone! LJ functioning again in... three, two, one... Yey! :D

So, as you know, it's been four months since I really got serious about my blogging. It's not my fault in the first place cause there's this thing with our internet that made me M.I.A. on the virtual beach. But I didn't give up on fixing it since I have commitment issues with my Lefty's, so when I plugged our newest internet connection, I immediately started blogging again.

Anyways, aside from having internet again, today was a really adventurous day for the family... minus my little brother. First, we went to a nearby public school where we were assigned to vote. It was a really really hot day & it got worst when we saw the long line of people before us waiting to vote. So my mom kinda made a scene & walked out. We headed for lunch, but we decided to go back cause my mom really wants us to experience the voting thing.

So after the elections, we went straight to my 'lolo uncle's' house just to pay him a visit. He actually has a stage four colon cancer, & I really am devastated about it. Although he's ill, I'm just glad he could still have the energy like a normal adult & I think he can actually recover amidst the severity of his illness. Hope you guys would pray for him as well.

We had a good time at his house. But my attention was mostly fixed on the election news... but still I had a good time. :)

Anyways, I'm back for good! Just wait for my May banner which is coming up soon! I'll try to update you guys more, okay? I miss everyone! God bless & take care everyone! :)

Good times, Aldrinne :D

LJ Break

General Douglas even told us that he shall be returning... LJ is doing the same. He's taking a short little LJ break in the blogging business. Promise! :)

  

Will be back soon, Aldrinne :D

Walking on Sunshine

So I'm actually tired of apologizing for not updating my blog everytime I make a post. So I posted some of my new songs like I promised. *Smiles*

Anyways, our internet connection actually had a kidney failure or something. We subscribed to another internet company but turns out it's actually slow as a turtle (no offense to turtle-lovers out there though). If ever there will come a day where it'll get running like before, then no more internet-condemnation, I promise.

However, there are certain things in life that needed to go slow. For me, you don't have to rush life too much to a point that you're beginning to hate it. It's more enjoyable to slow down a bit, becoming a turtle & appreciating life the way it should be.

Just like learning how to play a guitar or writing some songs or even enjoying a vacation with your cute little cousins, you create more moments when you ride the waves on a mundane speed.

Appreciate life by walking. You'll never know what good things might appear... God bless & take care everyone. More songs & 'blupdates' here in LJ. :D

Setting altruism to the third bar, Aldrinne :D

204th Song- Love Stays Right Here

Love Stays Right Here

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

  

I couldn’t believe

It’s another year

Some friends leave

& others are here

Emotions were leased

Put out all my tears

Secrets are found

To answer to your doubts

(Instrumental)

Started a life

Follow what’s right

Put up a wall

Started to fall

Problems at peek

Brought down to my knees

Respect was redeemed

Changes appear

(Chorus)

But my love stays right here

Made to fight my fears

Designed to bring me near

To you, I submit

Gained some of my strength

Weakness amends

Promises break

Changed our faith

Decisions are made

Time cannot wait

Impairments of grace

Perfections erased

(Repeat Chorus)

(Instrumental)

I couldn’t believe

It’s another year

You bid your goodbye

I couldn’t ask why

Goals are achieved

Tried harder to live

I still exist

So I’m going to sing

(Repeat Chorus 3X)

My love stays right here

My love stays right here

My love stays right here

My love stays right here

My love still remains unchanged

203rd Song- Runner

Runner

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

   

Memories may fade away

So I am saving all the things that you would say

Cause this time will never stay

So let’s pretend everything remains

Like that day when I first saw your face

Or the time you said your love won’t fade

When we grow up & act like we’re adults

I know our love together has no faults

(Chorus)

Maybe we’ll stay in love forever

Or say the word goodbye

At least it’s worth a try

But honestly, I’m betting on my future

We’ll have to stick together

You’ll always be my runner

You’re always first on the line

Though you don’t know

I’m on your control

& I’m not complaining cause it’s why I’m born

Recently, I wished you’d talked to me

That our love is more than complex but it’s real

You cast away the storm & brought the sun

It’s like I’m living in the dark but now I’m found

Like the waves, you hit me in the heart

I’ll cross the seas to make this feeling won’t stop

(Repeat Chorus)

Can’t predict the future, I’m afraid

Just tell me you’ll be there & that you’ll never fade

But it’s alright when things don’t go my way

Maybe next time I’ll hit the target when I play

(Chorus)

Maybe we’ll stay in love but suffer

The rumors spread like thunder

At least I’m on your side

Lately, I wish this love would linger

Together fire & water

There’s this you’d conquer

I know you’re first on the line

(Instrumental)

(Repeat Chorus)