Rising Up...

At this very moment... I could rise again

A phoenix never intends to die as its flames wither its feathers one by one. Even if everybody thinks that its existence is gone forever, another one rises from the ashes to live through eternity. I am a phoenix, & I can spread my wings & fly again if I want to, if I get tired of suppressing myself to rejection & if I have the chance to stand up again. It's been kinda lonely sinking yourself deep in depression, especially that fate pushes you away from your belief, although I do have faith in my own fate, but it just gets hard sometimes. However, this is where I have to either start over again or continue living as a miserable person. I chose the former one. Hence, it's difficult for me to make my way into myself, but I am devoted to even take the exit doors just to place myself to where I belong again. My pride is pushing me away from the people I love, but I will try backing up a little bit for them so no one could get hurt.

My absence presented itself as a way for me to ignore the blogosphere for a few days & take a plunge into the realm of realization. I came to devastating intra-conclusions by knowing myself, but the fact that I am trying to change now that is progressing a little bit is a good plan to start overwriting my character again. To tell you the truth, I disliked myself from time to time, probably because I compared myself not just to the people around me but to my "older" me who knows how to be a good person. Everything went backwards when I try to be still... but I learned that as soon as you try to stop yourself from doing anything wrong, the more you do it. It's rather a weird cliche, but it fits to everybody.

Soon I'd be feeling better, so I'm expecting my emotional limbic system in the brain to keep on pumping my mood enhancers! I watched Gossip Girl Season 2 & tell you it was still great! Good drama... with absolutely different players. I'm also gonna be working on my studies, see if I can still ride the waves.

At this very moment... I am back...

With a fresh start of October

Absolutely better!

Signing off

Lan