Familingectomy

Hey guys! What a stressful but brilliant start of the week I've got, primarily my hospital duties, adventures & regression moments all jam-packed in just two days.

So I've been out from the blogosphere yesterday & even took a break from the virtual world because of all the errands I was juggling. I was kinda dizzy when mom woke me up at eight in the morning to buy her something from a store faraway from home.
  

The dancer, the pilot & the father lol

   

You see, I haven't had any early retirement for the last couple of weeks now cause of school works &, of course, procrastinations. On monday, after I was dismissed early from our duty cause of the strike, we went to Quezon City to have dinner with my aunt & bond with the two cutest little angels whom we call Anton & Macky. :)

Those guys were old for their age. Well not really, but you don't get to see nine or ten-year olds downloading different iPhone applications, dancing like Michael Jackson or reading Twilight, making three pages essay, or even parking a car! everyday, right?
 
I played chess & chinese checkers with those two. I enjoyed it cause they really  know a thing or two in those games, though Anton's kinda used to playing board games from the computer. It's funny how you enjoy playing with kids- it lets you know that your inner child still exists. Regression isn't really that bad, you guys.

I never really had a little brother. I mean, I do have one but I can't baby a seventeen-year old?! I already have a little sister to spoil but I also want a baby brother like Anton or Macky. They actually let me forget how many things I should be finishing, but playing with them decreases my worries & burdens.

I only had a few hours with them & I felt like they're already family, they are actually. They'll be going home to the States though, so too bad I don't get to spend more time with them. I constantly looked at my phone last night when we're in duty to check those cute little faces & it's sad that I'm not gonna be seeing them & aunt Gina for a few months.

At least I'll have the chance to go with them to the airport later after my class, meaning I could say goodbye to them & have a lot of picture taking later. Argghhh! I really want a baby brother. Make me one now! lol Guess time will tell.
 
Yesterday, I didn't get so much rest nor preparation for my last duty in Rizal Provincial Hospital. I went to buy something for my mom at eight o'clock, picked up the camera from an office & hurried back to the house. I hadn't had any time to rest so I immediately ate & mom didn't even give me extra money for my effort haha, but it's okay though. Rewards will be given when you at the least are expecting it.
 
I left the house at 12:30 & arrived to the hospital at exactly two o'clock. Two of my clustermates, Randy & Rainier, scrubbed in for an appendectomy in a pediatric patient like an hour later. I haven't had the appetite to ingest something but I was really parched.
 
At eight-ish Jerha & I scrubbed in for a Bilateral Tubal Ligation or BTL procedure. I felt like an idiot cause I'm shaking during the preparation, & even got confused when people were talking at the same time when I was trying to insert the glove from the doctor's hand.
 
At least I've learned so much though, especially the instruments I already have forgotten during Health Care 2, & it's officially my first time to scrub in cause I was just an assistant retracting the bladder & suctioning the excess blood in my caesarian section case. I also didn't know that stages is another term for pathology of a disease. I hate that I studied that of the appendicitis & didn't even know what a stage exactly means...
 
Well, at least I've learned so much from Sir Virgilio Zafra, he actually has a technique that boosts your knowledge in the Operating Room do's & dont's. Thank you sir for making our clinical skills better than before. I really need to practice harder this time if I wanna be a nurse next year.
 
So to summarize this thing up, since aunt Gina's getting vertigo from reading long posts haha, it's just so nice to be back on track. It's not really about the way I wanna be for now, but it's about the way I should be for the future.

Verse for today comes from the book of Hebrews 4:12: For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. I've read two straight verses from Hebrews now & I'm getting interested on reading but I'm still reading Mark so I'll just wait. My song for today is Undiscovered by james Morrison.
 
Before I forget I wanna say hi to my new blog readers from Indonesia & Singapore. Many were sending me suggestions from my comment section in all of my posts. I'm trying to simplify it where you could just enter your name & email address & you're good to go. Subscription process where you put the same thing on Mark My Mouth does not change though.
 
I also apologize to those who are reading my blog posts in Allanned! & is asking me why I'm not updating it unlike LJ. I actually make my post here but I keep forgetting posting the same thing on Allanned! so I'm really sorry but I'm gonna make it up to you, I promise. God bless, take care & have a nice Wednesday! I'm gonna prepare for school now :)
  

Shaping in, shipping out, Allan :D

Escape...ular Pain

I wasn't supposedly posting a blog at this hour today, but duty's cancelled & I'm celebrating here. lol... not really.

I guess I'm gonna be joining our family dinner later anyway this evening with our aunt who's coming home to the States this week. I feel ambivalent though, cause I just wasted a couple of hours & money to go there & I didn't even get a case or something before we were dismissed. & the ride going back & forth was so exhausting!

My left scapula's been acting again, & this time it really really hurts even when I'm not writing or anything.

Actually, it's been acting up since I was in third year college but I just ignored it cause it didn't really hurt that much unlike now that I can't even finish a hundred point long test & Preliminary exam without experiencing this diffused pain that's bothering me for months now.

Not only that, it's been extending to my neck now. I just hope it's not gonna turn out to something bad. If I have the time I'll be having an X-ray & maybe consult an orthopedic. Please let it be just mechanical pain!

Speaking about the long exam & Preliminary exam, I really didn't quite did my best. I mean, I didn't even study for it but I'm really lucky I passed the long exam. Unfortunately, most of the people who took the Preliminary exams didn't pass, & I'm one of them.

I'm not really devastated or sad though, for me I mean. At least I have a good record in my quizzes & that long exam, & my Prelim exam actually helped me to not be a potential candidate for the Audit from another branch of my school which is so faraway from my house. That five-minute ride going to school will turn to a fifty-minute ride if I'll have my Audit class there.

Okay, I browsed a couple of neck & scapula pain & it actually involves some nerves... yikes! No! I'll be positive about this.

Anyways, despite my personal celebration due to a normal grade I'll be having (I hope), it's actually sad some of the people I've met there didn't really made the cut, & they even studied for the exams. However, I know everything's gonna be fine & it's just a class to train our minds to be more on the analytical side. No worries guys!

I'm also receiving some updates from our office & it's good to hear that my direct upline will be purchasing his first car at the end of the month. We patched things up last week & I figured hating isn't good for me, even for everyone anymore. Well, I'm just so happy that he's earning that much now! His hardwork actually paid off.

That got me thinking. I wish I could've stayed a little longer just to earn some money cause I'm getting tired & guilty taking my allowance from my mom who's working hard for us to have a good & descent life. But I can't go back now cause I'm really, really so damn busy & I'm so focused on my studies.

I actually gained some trauma from the experiences I had whenever I go home late at night & try to find some excuses to not go to school in the morning. Just had an epiphany- never thought I would turn out to be that guy. So I'll just prioritize my studies first while looking up to those who are now experiencing a life-changing moment.

It's raining outside... thank you Lord! Call me weird but I really love the rain (when I don't have to go outside lol), I do! It's like a way of cleansing the earth we've messed up, & it really calms my nerves.

Wait, I just remembered a funny moment in our class- actually, one of my classmates is complaining about the annoying heat, & everyone was suggesting going to cold places when I said we should all go to Riyadh! Everyone looked at me weird. "Eh di ba mas mainit dun?" I suggested that place so you could actually appreciate the heat here in the Philippines & we're just laughing our crazy heads off. Don't get me wrong, Riyadh is a beautiful place though. :)

I've also been having a good quiet time talking to God. He's giving me the strength to take all the battles in life. I'm just thankful He granted my prayer & didn't make me go down with a flu awhile ago. Maybe later tonight I'm finally gonna write a gospel song. I just found out what Jars of Clay means from that band, & the symbol of fish that was actually the one people are using to talk about Jesus Christ from the past. Cool huh?

Okay, so I'm really looking forward to dinner later- wish it wouldn't be postponed again like last night. I've also been finishing some of the old compositions that I haven't finished, though I'm still not posting some of my new songs here. I'm gonna head to bed now for a quick rest- don't worry, mom's gonna wake me up afterwards lol. Song for today is Sweet Dreams by Beyonce. Cool video!

How about you? What happened to your day today? God bless & take care everyone! God loves us all even if we don't feel it sometimes.

Shaping in, shipping out, Allan :D

Sorry doesn't seem to be the hardest word...

Okay, so I'm gonna make a quick post just to update you guys even though I should've been studying for our Audit Preliminary exams today at eight o'clock in the morning... what the heck?! I'm even playing Restaurant City now. lol
 
Anyways, I really felt awful last night & highly guilty not showing up at our dinner with my three high school best friends. I missed dinner & entertainment with them cause of my Audit class.

It really is a fun class for me, but it's too much energy-consuming. After I went home to check & make sure my grades from the tests we had are recorded & problem-free, I went straight to bed just to take a little nap. Now I know I suck at power naps. lol
 
I woke up at nine o'clock in the morning & felt so refreshed, then I looked at the windows & it's already dark outside! I checked my phone which I was charging the whole time I was napping & there were like ten missed calls I've received & a dozen of messages asking where the heck I am. I quickly stood up, feeling the adrenalin rush as I was going to the bathroom for a quick shower while making a text message. I think I kinda frightened my mom from that stunt.
  
But just as I was turning on the showers, my body quickly gave up chasing time. I erased the message about going there asap & changed it to an apology. I still have tons of lectures to read for my preliminary exams for Audit & though I really wanted & needed to hang out with them so bad, I guess I felt bad just missing out.
 
So I planned to study the whole night instead. However, I wasn't really feeling good so I picked up my Bible... actually, my little sister's Bible for children & read all of Jesus Christ's parables. I kinda like the one with the widow & the judge which is all about praying, the other one about the shepherd & his one hundred sheep & the other one about a servant who owes a large sum of money to a rich man which talked about asking for forgiveness & doing the opposite thing to those who have wronged him (technically, it's not really 'forgive & forget' but more like 'forgive & be forgiven'). It really calmed my nerves after reading the parables.
 
Just to empty my mind while inculcating Jesus' teachings, I just did all of the chores I wasn't supposed to be doing for my study time, clean the bedroom & shared a parable (the one with the prayer & the judge) to my little sister. Though she's not really 100% having fun, I've still felt the presence of our Lord as I was sharing it to her.

Because of that, I already picked up my Bible- it's really nice that I have a good Bible even though it's translated into King James version, though I personally wanted that version years ago than the NIV, I don't know why, but it sounds more interesting reading the KJV instead. It has also a feature- it's like a guide about where, when & how to read the Bible. Then I started reading the book of Mark which is like a fast-paced story made for an impatient audience & focuses more on the miracles Jesus Christ have done.
 
Anyways, I've read the first three chapters & it's really amazing how Jesus Christ shared the Gospel with intellectual words, & how He healed the sick people from that time.
 
I tried to study again but it seems like I have to retire now, so I got up, brushed my teeth (I sound like a kid lol), turned the alarm at three in the morning, & went to sleep after a good conversation with God.
 
I'm not really putting up a show by saying I'm reading the Bible just so people could tell that I'm religious or to prove I'm better, no. I just really want you guys to try reading the word of God. It really gives you a feeling of contentment & all the hate you've been carrying will really vanish. That's what happened to me awhile ago. Because of that, I texted the people whom I had unpleasant moments with & just said sorry not because I had to but because I wanted to... from that moment I felt at peace. Sorry isn't really that hard when you know everything will be better than having to hide yourself from your mistakes. After some conversation with Mhae through text, I dozed off.

I woke up at like 2:30 in the morning so I could start studying & get to talk to my high school friends, if they're still awake. Crappy YM doesn't work this morning but Chellang dropped me a tweet saying she was still awake so we ended up talking on Twitter lol. We just had our first Tweetersation (I love inventing stuff with Twitter) there until she said she's gonna retire now while I'm just scanning through my notes. I also received a good verse today from Christ Notes from the book of John.

I thought about not sharing it to all my virtual network communities cause I have this feeling that people will just roll their eyes on this one, & that I don't want to be accused as a false follower- sharing the word today but is actually sinning. However, I remembered (just now actually) reading the parable about the mustard seed & the story about a servant who invited the normal (or not really rich) people after the king heard that the people who were originally invited made some excuses just to turn down the invitation. I also remembered the book of 1 Corinthians chapter 13.

The mustard seed, based on my memory, was about our obligation to share the Gospel of our Lord so you would spiritually multiply & be saved before Jesus' second coming. About the king with the servant, it basically talks about how God doesn't really push people unto believing His word cause He gave us free will, & it is our decision to follow God & make Him our Lord & Savior.

After remembering those parables, I decided to share the verse on Facebook anyway. I really want you guys to understand that the Bible is our weapon from all those non-believers whom we can share the good news with & also the answer to all our questions.
 
Start by reading some verses according to different categories- just search for a guide in the internet, I'm sure there's a lot of it. If you want you could also read the books filled with beautiful poems like Psalms, Proverbs & Ecclesiastes. Okay, so it's not really the length I really planned for today's post but I'm just so happy & eager to share this with you & update all of you guys.
 
I just wanna say hi to my readers from United Arab Emirates & the Philippines. You guys were actually the constant visitors for this week so thank you for the support. Song for today is To Be With You by David Archuleta (I was tweeting with him awhile ago & can't help but listen to his songs). Verse for today is John 14:21- "Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him." God bless, take care & have a nice day everyone!
  

Shaping in, shipping out, Allan :D

Weirdness Wannabe

Once you finally get a hang of it- how it works & all that cycle stuff, people started talking about your personality.
  
It's really annoying how you tend to be the 'shiny new toy' when you transfer schools & ended up sitting with a group of strangers. People look at you differently, define you differently, & even when you think you've become a part of the flow, let's just say ripples are different from turbulence.

I guess I was lucky enough to have a classmate that was also my previous classmate from our former school a year ago. Before the start of this school year, I promised myself to be the Allan I was before, & tell you what I became even more thirsty for knowledge than I previously was, became more sensitive to my body by losing a lot of weight & sleeping before twelve o'clock, & never felt so spiritually-inclined (especially during Thursdays & every mornings) because of Bible study & when I'm reading the Bible.

I'm happy & contented- I'm not really earning from business now but the feeling of having to achieve your dreams in the future really tries to put me back to the ground. I also didn't care much about making new friends now (though I'm not rejecting them) because I'm really into studying. It's actually nice to have a couple of people as your friends- talking about school stuff & interesting subjects, especially that the classmates I'm kinda hanging out with doesn't really fit in the group.

Actually, that's the friends I'm looking for- spontaneous, doesn't need to act cool, & talk about things that normal people don't know about but aren't deviant at all.
  
However, people actually said I'm weird. I was talking to my mom the other day & she said one of her classmates before noticed that I've been hanging with some friends who they call weird.

I actually just kinda laughed it off, because my plan is doing great- being able to be completely avoidable by hanging out with some people they judge, having a backpack so worn out & look so soiled people will think I'm a loser (though I believe I am lol), & being quiet during breaks just doodling or finding some new words from my Bantam.
  
To tell you the truth, I believe that I am weird in so many levels. Being actually weird really separates me from the group but I really don't care, cause the things that I'm doing that people usually don't do like writing songs, blogging, reading, drawing or doodling, listening to the songs I love instead of the songs that are hitting the charts now (not really though), really makes me a lot happier than I was being normal. Those are the things that I find pleasurably & interestingly. It's not really a lot different from other people but I like to think that I am.
  

& besides, weird is cool! :)

  

Just to clear things out, I just wanna be the weird, nerdy & spontaneous kid now just to focus on my academics... having a mother as your classmate during Saturdays & Sundays really helps too, but I'm happy I'm spending time with her. I still hang out with my best friends from high school, still talk to my previous classmates & friends from college & socialize in the virtual world.
  
I'm doing so great in my studies now that I'm always staying out of trouble (not posting some videos that will involve many people or staying out late), & I think I'm becoming more mature that I was back then.
  
It really helps when you have a good not-really-broken-now family, having a good mom to guide you throughout your life, good sets of friends that protect me from any misconceptions or misunderstandings, good professors that will not only shape you academically, but will entirely haul you to be the greatest person you can be, my God who's my Alpha, Emmanuel & Omega, & Jesus Christ who still washes all my sins away before I could ask for forgiveness.
  
If you think about it, those things actually keep me normal, making me a weirdness wannabe lol. I'm positive, still prospectophobic (that's a good thing for me now- makes you care about the future), & look & feel a lot better than before. Who says you can't regress & progress at the same?
  
Song for today is Ordinary People by John Legend. God bless, take care & have a good, safe & productive week everyone! :)
  

Shaping in, shipping out, Allan :D

Extrapyramidal System

"It's like buying vinegar from your house to a store; I travelled through the obstacles just to get there, but eventually, I would still go back to where I belong..." -Allan Aldrinne Leyva
  
Took me three years to finally arrived home, at least I made it though. Good morning everyone! Figured to update you guys while I'm taking a break from everything... & by everything, I mean academics haha
  
Anyways, though I only slept for like three hours, I still feel so great even though I'm coming down with a flu or something. That's how I maintain homeostasis- I couldn't get a week off from having a cold, but I don't gradually get a fever or something, was it wrong to have that kind of balance? lol.
  
When I was lying awake in my bed ready to seize the day, I've thought about the motion of the changes in my life & how it's getting back to normal, for now though. I don't get to spend the whole day being spontaneous after classes like I was before, & it's better to be driving on a straight road for a change.
  
These past few weeks, maybe the most random thing I've done was going out with my lovely ladies on a school night (Actually, everyday is a school night according to my schedule), & now we're actually planning to have dinner somewhere, followed by our scheduled 'Hot Seat Live' on a Saturday night- it's just a talk show that we created for our entertainment purposes for our almost-everyday conference.
  
I really like how my days seem to be like high school again, except that we have the weekend off. But seriously, I'm happy how things are getting pretty kind of good being a not-so-hardworking student & hanging out with my high school friends again.
  
I still have no idea why I haven't had a nice & long conversation with them for like three years. Maybe I was living the college life too much that I forgot the people I've been with when I was in high school.
  
Maybe the recent accident & the change of atmosphere is also a wake up call to finally get back to the people who entered my life when I was desperately seeking for friends during high school. Hmm.. am I really that desperate? lol
  
I really have to pat myself on the back for maintaining my social life while studying. I've recently thought about focusing on my business again, but I just can't squeeze it in my jam-packed schedule. I know people will tell me that I'm making excuses just to avoid it, but I had an epiphany a couple of days ago as my personal reason- it's not that I don't want to do the business, surely I still want to continue it, but whenever I do something that's out of my activities, I eventually get into trouble for the wrong reasons.
  
I think God is trying to tell me that I have to make my last year of college a constant & predictable one, & that I must focus on what's important to the people around me, & not just to me.
  
Even though I'm lying low on the earning side for now, it's still gonna be worth it when I graduate, & much more worthy when I passed the board exams & able to work in the States & maybe chase a dream that was waiting for me for a long, long time now.
   
Oh yeah! Just in case you're wondering, (gonna make this explanation simple) an extrapyramidal system is located at the brain & it's like responsible for our fine motor movements or gracefulness in our body motions.
  
How is it related to my post? It's more like I was suffering from extrapyramidal disorders before & that I couldn't seem to control every movement my life is trying to make, & it seems like God treated these involuntary & irregular motions & He just let me focus into a single flow which I will be benefiting in the future.
  
Thank you for the constant blog readers all across the globe. You know who you are guys, but I don't really know you that much haha, so it'll be so much better if you could drop your name in the comment box just beneath a post or go to Mark My Mouth & say what you have to say. Any comments, suggestions or violent reactions are accepted. lol
  
Also, I wanna say hi to the newest members of the LJ & Allanned! family, the new blog visitors from Chile! Looks like Mexico is spreading the LJ word to the South Americans.
  
A shout-out to my twin brother (when it comes to destiny), David Archuleta. I just read his blog & it's actually his fault that I'm doing a post right now haha, & I really need a night with him & his music again so bad.
  
Of course, I couldn't forget giving thanks to my three lovely angels- Sweetie pie Rachelle Ang, my partner in crime Mhae Co, & my stuff toy Bearatz' hubby, Celine Leonardo! (Cel's gonna be so furious when she read this) I love you guys!
  
God bless & have an LJ day, alright?! Song for today is A Little Too Not Over You by the one & only David James Archuleta! Verse for today is on the book of Deuteronomy 30:16- "For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess." It's a nice verse, right?! :)
  
Thank you everyone! :) (This post is kinda long, don't yah think? haha)

      

Shaping in, shipping out, Allan :D

P.OR

Hey guys! I'm just having some free time off before school so I figured to update my journal for everyone to see! lol

Okay, so if you're following me on Twitter or Plurk you might already know how I spent my first two days of hospital duty in a faraway place, meaning I had to be alone & emotional for an hour & a half just to go there. Seriously, I tend to get blank whenever I travel alone. It's pretty good cause my contradicting personality wants to have a quiet atmosphere sometimes, though I could really use some company every now & then.

I'm just really lucky my OR duty doesn't suck- I've met a lot of friends including Diego, Grace, Simang, Aron Mark & my classmates Randy & Rainier, viewed some major & minor procedures there like appendectomy & debridement of a diabetic patient's foot, had a minor case on the second day of duty (Dilatation & Curettage) & got to spend some time reading & checking out some big words from me' old Bantam.

I've also experienced riding a public vehicle running like a Ferrari for the first time! lol, & the scary part was we're actually on top of the mountains! Kinda think of it, that driver really values his time as he swerved on both lanes... making that one hour & thirty minute-ride only thirty minutes or less.

Last night, before I went to sleep I thought about how people say they support & love you, but once you get used to a different setting away from them, they tell you how you seem to ignore them or how much you couldn't lend a hand on something particularly, my business. That's where I'm confused- I did ask for some help before but I was always turned down from my upline (like how I begged him to give me a downline on my left side of the group & he said he's not responsible for giving me one), & I also gave my time to help some of my downlines (if they could remember how I ran back & forth just to talk to the invites from the office & to McDonald's to explain how our business goes). All that I have done just to prove I am willing to help even if I'm not earning anything in the latter part of my business.

But once you get to detach yourself from something just to prioritize your future, people complain about how useless one can be. I apologize if I'm not there to support you guys now, but let's just say I wasn't even supported when I was starting out like the rest of you guys. The fact that some of your uplines didn't also show their faces up in the office, it's because they complained about a mismanagement from a certain upline & I was put on a pedestal where I have to protect all of you guys from any negative comments from our upline who boasts about how he expanded his group without any help whatsoever. Talk about gratitude, huh?

To the people who always say that I'm not there when they were at their lowest- just  think about how much I suffered from the last couple of months & how much I was devastated to suffer the consequences. I'm not always there because I started thinking about myself for a change while I'm valuing the friendship that we have left. If you guys talk about how bad I am for not being there all the time, then what do you have to call yourselves when you were enjoying your lives partying all night, while I'm alone & not able to move on?

"FINE! Magsama n nga lng kau LAHAT! Pareparehas lng naman kau eh." What makes you a lot different from us anyway?

    
It's not really how I thought this post would even go, but one thing's for sure, I am more messed up than those other people you might know, but the only thing that separates me from them is that I don't see life as an obstacle, focusing on the rejections & people or things that they have lost, but I see life as a road you have to travel with God & with the people who really love you to be a better person in the future.
   
I'm gonna prepare for school now, hope this would be a good & productive day! Belated Happy Fourth of July in the United States! lol Sorry for the late greeting though. Oh yeah! I want to say hi to my blog visitors from the United Arab Emirates & my constant readers from Saudi Arabia & America! Yay! You guys are so awesome! Song for today: Green Light by John Legend.
  

Shaping in, shipping out, Allan :D

A Duty-ful Monday

Wow! Never thought I'd be so energized again to study hard for my last college year. Although I'm kinda hiding from the social world here in my new school, at least I'm getting better in my academics side again.
  
I never realized how much fun & educational a Nursing Audit could be until I enjoy being there! Seriously, I thought it would really ruin my Saturdays & Sundays, but I'm really having a blast listening & reviewing all the past subjects we have taken & we've kinda forgotten already. However, it would really be nice if we could have a day-off from school every week so we could have some rest before a new brain labor begins.
 
I've also discovered how to take all those stress of mine away... talking to my lovely angels! Actually, they are my best friends in high school Rachelle Ang, Mhae Co, & Celine Leonardo. We're having a YM conference almost everyday for the rest of the week & just talk about the most random things while being nostalgic from our HS memories. It's really good cause I could talk about everything to them. It really relaxes me after a stressful day at school.

Getting spiritually-inclined again is my personal goal for this year. I mean, I did promise myself to lose weight, to sleep early, & to be close to God again. I'm proud to declare that I've been losing weight & have been sleeping early. Unfortunately, due to my schedule, I couldn't really go to church every Sunday but at least I started having a quiet/ devotion time with God again. I'm also picking up a random Bible verse from a site where it's updated everyday. It's now part of my routine to have this time with God before I start my day just to feel fresh & problem-free.

Today I'll be having my duty in Morong, Rizal at two o'clock in the afternoon up to ten o'clock in the evening. I know! I think it's so far from civilization... not really, but I guess it means no internet for me for two days this week & the next week. I'll also stay at a dormitory near the hospital there with my classmate for a night. It's not really that bad though- it's actually good to start having my hospital duties again cause, after all, the last duty that I had was like two months ago, & I also need to fill up my cases before the end of this semester... or else I have to fill it all up in my semestral break.

Okay, so that's about how my life is turning out now. No dramas & no Melatonin-induced behavior. I'm really proud to be shaping in right now. I just want to give a little shout-out to my Lefty's Journal & Allanned! blog readers from the Philippines, Saudi Arabia, Malaysia, Norway, France, Germany, Canada, Mexico, & from the US of course. Just dropping by my blog every now & then really means so much to me.

Anyways, I'm getting a haircut now & I hope to catch you all later. My song for today is This Boy by James Morrison. Hope you all have a beautiful... or a duty-ful week! God bless & take care everyone!
  

Shaping in, shipping out, Allan :D

155th Song- Walk A Little Lighter

Walk A Little Lighter

Allan Aldrinne Leyva
  

We all know you’ve got dreams

You even got the chance to reach for it

& everyone is stuck inside their shells

While you can just forget

All the reasons why you came this far
  

You’d never understand

That these hopes & dreams are why we live

While you are taking all the things they give

You don’t appreciate

Things will disappear in the end

So now I’ll say to you is

  
(Chorus)

Walk a little lighter, stepping far & wide

Bring out all the best in them

Help them touch the sky

Walk a little prouder by telling them to try

I know that we can do it

Hone ourselves in time

If we have love to share than keep

We know that they’ll believe

So walk a little lighter

Guide them to the right
  

You said you passed the test

Without some any help, you ignore the rest

While everyone needs the one who can explain

Bring them out the rain

Try to be the one who can inspire

So now I’m saying

(Repeat Chorus)
  

If you can guide them to their path

It’s like you ‘gain achieved

Let them learn what they should learn

Let them dare the impossible

Know their strengths & teach them

To walk a little lighter

(Repeat Chorus with children choir)

  
(Repeat Chorus)

Walk a little lighter, let them fly so high

Rainovation

Today, I officially welcome July in my life!

At the start of this year, I've constantly talked about how everything was going to be different & better. Turned out I was wrong.

Basically, the last couple of months gave me one of the hardest tribulation I've ever encountered in my whole entire life. I remember being accused, leaving an important life behind, being distrusted, quitting, became the talk of the town, lying, disappointing, how I almost failed everyone, & how I can't seem to uphold my principles & ideas in life.

I see people coexisting with life in good harmony. I see people flow the happy river without any ripples. I see people living their dreams & people living serene, & then I see myself & it wasn't that pleasing as how I thought it would be.

Based on my previous years, I have never experienced a difficult nor an unpleasant life. In the past I was on top of my game & constantly facing life with no doubts whatsoever. You see, I've always thought I can be perfect if I wanted to & I sure am a lot braver & tougher when dealing with events like these. However, even if you really like to stay the same, things just change.

When I think about how my life become so slippery & rough, I always think about our Lord. Maybe all these are the signs He is knocking at my door again. It's not that I pushed & locked Him outside my door, it's more like a parent setting her offspring free to face the world. He would exposed himself to too much problems & reality that eventually, he would always come back to his mother or father. Yeah! It's just like that scenario.

My NCM professor also shared this verse to me- Revelations 1:17. At the last sentence of this verse was another name of God- The First & the Last. Based on his cognition (& eventually on my own cognition too), the Lord already loved us way before we were created, even before we roamed the earth- it was God who loved us from the very beginning, & will love us at the very end of our existence.

So I made mistakes a couple of times, been sad & depressed thinking about how I'm alone in this world, been to much damnation, had bad epiphanies, became worst, lost some friends, lost my pride & dignity & conjuncted with events I have never even imagined would happen to me. But who cares? That's one of the biggest alarm clocks I have ever experienced.

As I have said before, God really do throws rocks at our lives sometimes just to remember how everything is worth livable & appreciable & all we must do is to have faith in everything that we think is right.

 

At the start of this year, I've constantly talked about how everything was going to be different & better. Turned out I was wrong, but then again, what's to learn when you're always right, right?

God bless & have a wicked & awesome day! My song for today: Extraordinary Machine by Fiona Apple. "Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier." - Colin Powell.

 

Shaping in, shipping out, Allan :D

154th Song- When Is When

When Is When

Allan Aldrinne Leyva
   

Got my folders, brush & my luggage

Walk a little, last glance on your face

You never really needed something other than me

In case you just forget, I felt the same feeling

  
I said I’m sorry for all those things I did

You know that I don’t mean it when I did those things

In time I wish that you could just take me again

& now you know I got to ask you when is when
  

Why don’t you just let me live happily?

I need some time to think about what’s happening

You told me that you’d do everything to stay

So can you try to disappear, it’s good for me
  

I know you said you’re sorry for all these things

& that you didn’t mean it, please stop & think

Why’d you even tell me if you just pretend?

So now I cannot answer that when is when
  

When will you accept my apology?

When will you stop lying when loving me?

When will you continue living in blasphemy?

When are you planning to stop me?

  
(Chorus)

I don’t know, don’t know why

Am I feeling you’re right?

You never even have to explain

Can you just forgive me?

I’m saying sorry

Things would never be the same again

But I know that I can make things right again

Please just tell me when is when
  

When will you try to give me space?

How long will you be angry from what I did?

When are you planning to learn from these?

Tell me when this hate is vanishing

(Repeat Chorus 2x)

  
When is when?

When will you see my point here?