P.A.P. Smears

Yeah, I was also laughing like crazy when I thought about an appropriate title for having evidences on my 'patience-&-perseverance'... woot! 'I Try' by Macy Gray is now on the radio... what a great Monday morning!

'Goodbye & I choke... try to walk away but I stumble... though I try to hide it, it's clear... la-la-la' 

Anyways, last night the service was really one of the most heart-felt moments I ever had- it wasn't really a topic people are looking forward to hear, but simple words like patience & perseverance echoed through my ears that gave me some realizations in life.

So the topic was actually one of your favorites too- SUFFERING (lol).

We all, if not underwent, are undergoing with a lot of sufferings right now- financial crisis, job promotions (worst, unemployment), retirement, pressures from our peers & parents, being gossiped about something you did, losing some of the closest friends you have, or being hated by everyone.

Suffering, how much we try to get away from it, really is a normal part of life. I hear people saying 'why me, Lord?', 'it's not fair...' or (your fave) 'out of eight billion people in this world, I was chosen to...' (blah-blah-blah).

I have this friend who is in a relationship with someone who is not that physically-well, & she keeps asking me the same questions too. WHY? Why do we feel that God wasn't there when we are asking for His help?

There are actually three reasons why we have suffering in this world *couple of deep breaths*:

1. Because of the people's wrongdoings- which is actually true. Ever heard someone found peace when he just committed a sin?

2. We live in a fallen world- No matter how much we try to deny that fact, it's still part of our reality. 'Why is this man blind when he was born?'... because we live in a fallen world. (1st Peter 4:15)

3. We suffer for righteousness sake- When everything is lost, God wants us to turn to Him.

When I think about these reasons, I was thinking about how it really sucks for us. But you know what, we're actually have the power to overcome these sufferings in life.

How? Well, we just have to become like the farmers. What the heck?

Yes! It's true. When a farmer plants his seed, he expects a harvest. But before that harvest, he knows that there will be seasonal disasters that can ruin his crops- storms, locusts, drought, etc.

Why does he have to plant his seeds & expect a harvest when he knows there will be many natural destructions that can hinder his harvest? That's actually the point of the story.

As said on the book of James 5:8, God is a constant God- no matter how much we suffer, God is still willing to give you what we need, all we have to do is to stand firm, have faith, patience & perseverance.

Sometimes we always grow impatient when it comes to asking God something we like- that's what I feel now for my iPhone, my driving lessons, & dad's car (lol). But he reminded me that sometimes my time & God's wasn't really jiving (thank you mom for that word) at all.

Like a farmer, we just have to believe that in the end of all those sufferings, God will find a better path for us... & it's gonna be so worth it in the end.

In the midst of all those trials & tribulations, I know we're not alone- a good fact that eases up our burdens. Our God, family & friends will always be there to keep us sane enough to overcome all these.

Sometimes we just have to be messed up... to step up.

Patience & Perseverance- what evidences can you prove to yourself how much you can endure the sufferings just to overcome them?

It's really unbelievable how much I'm looking forward spending time with some of the people I love. Today, I'm gonna go to C.H.I.L.D. (but first, I'm gonna pack some old clothes & I have to look for 'pogs', my promise to Mark) to visit those angels & then go watch a movie with Markie & Mafe, the 'birthweek' celebrant.

I have to say I'm really moved by the support you're giving me these past few days. All of you bloggers & readers really made my heart grew bigger & I just can't believe the efforts you're giving me whenever I needed something. I love you all & thank you so much! The nominations are still up so thank you in advance for those who nominated me. God bless & have a happy Monday morning!

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne :D

Faulty Filiation

At times I get to be jealous at other people who are close to their siblings; not that I don't have a good relationship with my little brother, it's just that it's hard to understand him. I think we just grew both mentally & emotionally separated for the last seventeen years of our ties.

I'm really close to my little sister though- I tend to regressed so much when it comes to playing with her & how she demonstrates her love by giving us hand-written cards really makes it easy for us to be close. Plus, sisters have always been the one who looks up or supports you in every single way. Unlike my little brother.

So I'm not saying I don't want my him, I do. I think one of the best traits he has is how he shows his concern to you, even though you might think he's just plainly ignoring you. At times he becomes active & bugs the heck out of me, but I think it was his way of showing how he values each & every one of us in the family.

Although it seems like we're that close already, how our misunderstandings & fights really did compensate our good brotherhood; many times they successfully get on your nerves too.


He has a unique pattern of doing chores almost every week; skipping when he doesn't feel like it unless he needs it. Plus, he tends to backfire too much when misconceptions arise. Recently, he deleted some of my songs because I accidentally & unknowingly deleted his freestyle game on my laptop. Good thing I saved all my songs in my flash disk (which Ate Nikki borrowed), but I'm still angry at him for pulling up a stunt like that.

Sometimes... all the time I've been wishing to have a little brother whom I can take care of. Seriously! My little sister even knows that I want a brother who looks like this kid Bugoy Carino or Anton, our 'well-if-you-put-it-that-way' cousin whom I love so much (with Macky of course), or Matt, my best friend's little brother.

So I guess I feel guilty too for constantly thinking about that- it's like saying that I wanted a better brother than I have now. Although I seriously know he doesn't think like that anyhow, I still kinda made a wrong point.

I know sibling rivalry is common in other families. But for me, I think it shouldn't reach up into adulthood (I'm only nineteen years old people!) because that would really cause too much tribulation in the future.

I think one of the most common cause of this problem (based on my experience) was each other's differences- when he perceives this way when you are completely the opposite. Often times we get to have more differences from each other than those of our similarities... or it's just that our similarities are so general we couldn't even relate it to ours.

Surfing the internet or drawing (maybe before), for example, are the things that we really like, but I tend to be more on the productive-side blogging or writing while he's more suited playing online games, which we would argue about when it comes to computer storage.

There maybe instances that I really just wanted to understand him because, after all, I'm his kuya & I should be the one who has to get him. Although I think that rationalization was unfair because it's like giving him the power of authority in the household. The worst part was that he did act like the oldest, & it's like saying I'm not well enough to be the man of the family- not like I wanted more responsibility, I just want the title.

So we tend to punch each other with words & hateful comments- he always say I'm stupid, gay or scared, but he usually curses me cause he knows that would really insult me. Being controlled by my id personality, I constantly warn him that I'm not gonna be helping him on his financial needs when I'm already a nurse in the States now, or I tell him he's just like a devil & God is going to rebuke him. So we're both mean when it comes to fights like these.

I guess it's pretty weird to be making up with him now, since I still have this aversion with him for crossing the line (deleting some of my compositions). Sometimes he's just too much for me to handle, & I really wish I could have a little brother who has my little sister's age or has the same personalities like me.

I could really imagine a life without my brother, & all the time I wish I didn't have any thoughts like that. It makes my world a lot easier, but it makes me much worst than Cain. *Sigh*

Hmm, don't worry about me, I'm not really affected though lol. It's just that I wanted to reconnect with my little brother like how siblings do. I had a good sleep guys, all because of the support you guys are giving me for the last couple of days now.

Special thanks to all the readers from my Friendster, Facebook, Twitter & Plurk. I wanna say welcome to those bloggers who have been featured on my Ads.Blogs.Collabs. page now. This campaign will give good results & new friends, I can tell. Please nominate me also! Thanks guys!

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne :D

We are BLOG Family!

Hey guys! Sorry for the hold up with this blog post; I was so caught up from keeping myself sane after I checked some of the blogs I visited today. So I'm trying to make a blog family cause I think it's a good, good way to become a junction of some blogs I'll soon be posting at the Ads.Blogs.Collabs. still in Lefty's Journal.

& tell you what, after all those blogs I've seen, I think I've made a decision to create a green-eyed monster out of all the blogs I envied. Seriously! How they organize their site & how they make it look presentable really caught my attention. Plus, their content is so better than the posts I've been blabbing here. Kudos to every blogger who knows how to rule their techno-universe so well.

Anyways, it's been so great having your support with me. I've been so intact lately because of you guys, & it really gives me the energy to have that time to focus on my blog & everything else. So I guess that makes me a true blogger now huh? LOL, so much for making this as a means to build my ego-integrity in the future.

So later tonight, I'm gonna be spending time going through my old clothes just to donate something for those cute little angels in C.H.I.L.D. whom I'll be visiting on Monday, before Mark, Mafe & I watch a movie just to make up for my absence. Anyways, I'm so excited about the visit cause I miss those children already. If you think I'm boasting, I really just wanted to spread how much these kids have touched my life- they're not alone on their own battle against their illness & I am praying to have the money to be able to help them.

So now it's raining outside & I really thank God for it. Yes! Rain's actually a blessing for me (I said it before, it's like the only way how the world cleanses itself from our shortcomings, or something like that). I think I'm gonna make some songs later tonight, since my class will start at one in the afternoon anyways. Hope you had a good day too!

Oh yeah, fellow bloggers, just drop your blog address on the said page & I'll be doing the rest. Take care everyone & please, nominate me in the Nuffnang Blog Awards. Thank you so much for the support again. I love you!

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne :)

Lefty's Righty

Last night I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw my Nuffnang blog updates; it was incredibly piled up with too many visits from different countries. I also received a jaw-dropping rank from top 1,020 & now on top 818 just now. Today, I really wanted to give my appreciation to all you readers who were kind enough to pay a visit on my blog &, even more, drop some comments too.

I must’ve been acting weird trying to convince you all to read or visit my blog, & I really did pull off a crazy attempt for my blog to be seen & finally, be nominated. I also finished renovating my other blog that was then called ‘Allanned’ & is now Lefty's Righty which is beautifully renovated but still has the same content with that of the original. It signifies how Lefty’s Journal extends its blogosphere beyond Friendster, solely because of your support.



Everything that I've invested in this blog was so worth it, & I'm happy that people appreciate what I'm trying to do- not really change the world, but share my thoughts, opinions, or my stories too. & how much you were spending time with me thru this site is like having you here beside me. I feel the love, people!

Anyways, it seems like I'm over-crossing my fingers too much. You know, about the Nuffnang Blog Awards thing. I know it's impossible to get so many nominations, & more when it comes to voting, but I really believe that if it's not for you, at least I know that we put up a good fight. It's still weird when I think about it- going to Singapore to compete with this blog (when so much people have more awesome blogs than mine), plus my schedule is gonna be a little problem (but I think it's already the semestral break). It's still amazing if you think about it.

So I just really want to express my biggest appreciation to all of you. If I could kiss or hug you guys right now, I really would! lol. My composition folder is piling up with new cool songs now, but I have to maintain a balance, you get me right? God bless & take care everyone! Hope you had a good day too!

Special thanks to all my Friendster & Facebook readers & my Twitter & Plurk buddies as well. I love you guys!

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne (my second name... for a change) :D

163rd Song- The Long Wait

Nominate me. Twitter, Plurk, Facebook... whatever! :P

Happy Birthday to my friend Maria Felisa I. Fernandez! I'm sure your mom is smiling at you now this very moment. Anticipate your day today! :D

The Long Wait

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

It’s now my turn

To spread my wings

Climb a mountain & shout my dreams

I’ll tell the world

I’m ordinary but I’m real

Yes I’m real

To bring together two worlds in my hands

Through my singing, I know I’ll make amends

Not on me, but to the world we’re living in

I’m ordinary but I’m real

I’m ordinary but I am real

(Chorus)

Finally the long wait is over

Like a silver refined in the fire

& now I stand here before you

I’ve won this call

A gift from above

The long wait is over

I have surpassed

The tribulation fate has gave

Through the subway, I tripped into the darkness

But in the end, there’s a limit to everything

I saw the light & I survived

(Repeat Chorus)

Sometimes I feel lost

Thinking what could have been

I know that I have

My God, my family, my friends

Myself, my hope & my strength

(Repeat Chorus 2x)

& though sometimes I feel

I know I’m not the best in here

But then again, things will end

As long as I believe & dream

The long wait ends here

C.H.I.L.D.

Yesterday, I was supposed to tell you about our last day at the Center for Health Improvement & Life Development, but I really had to start begging for your help when I received that Nuffnang Blog Awards letter in my email. Well, good news because if there is a prize money involved in this contest, it will go automatically to these children who need our help.

But first, I'm really happy about yesterday's socialization on that place. I really had fun bonding with these cute little angels who deserve so much more in life.

We arrived early in the morning to discuss about the last topics about pediatric common disorders, which was really helpful during our Course Audit. Dr. Lorelei, our clinical instructor, is really a good teacher; When the students are reporting in front of the class, she makes sure everyone understands the things that are being told to us.

After that, we had a quick brunch outside & then started talking about the program. So I was assigned for the opening prayer & all that.

We started the program at around twelve o'clock in the afternoon. Mark (who has Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma), May (with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus), John (who has Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia) together with the other kids were present too. That made me smile.

So the socialization went off smoothly. We danced & feasted on the food we prepared, & I gave them cute little gold stars & told them that they symbolize hope if we just pray to God.

The program was a success, but it got me really sad when I remember that this was our last day here, although for sure I'm going to visit them soon. I promised Mark to buy him some 'pogs', May was scheduled for a biopsy so I told her I'm gonna go back. John kissed me on the cheeks when I was carrying him; that was his way of saying 'thank you' &, for me, was his 'you're welcome' too. I really believe that these children are destined for greatness, I just know it.

I tried to hold my tears from falling- success. From that moment, when I left the gates of their sanctuary, I really wish I was a billionaire. Although impossible (for now), I just want to give the treatments they needed. Even though we planned a socialization to help them cope up from their worries, I guess in the end we were the ones who needed that socialization after all. That's why I wanted to thank them for helping us appreciate life in every way. I was planning to go there at the 31st of August, so if you want to come with me, just drop me a message or something.

God bless & have a nice day everyone. I'll start preparing for school now, & thank you for helping me in the nomination phase, I really appreciate all your efforts so much. Please continue supporting alright? Thank you!

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne :D

Nuffnang Regional Blog Awards 2009

For two years I've been constantly running Lefty's Journal as a lonely blogger who have been receiving little recognition from my efforts. Although I planned to make my blog as a means for my journal entries, I did get many supports from my friends, my co-social networks & fellow bloggers all around the globe. I thank you for the praises & kudos I received.

However, I really want you to make me a huge but simple request- please nominate my blog as The Best Entertainment Blog & especially The Best Hidden Gem in the Nuffnang Regional Blog Awards 2009.

When I received this letter from my email, I really decided to finally make some huge effort to get my blog the utmost attention it should've been having from the past years. I know it seems like I'm boasting, but I really deserved to win the title especially the The Best Hidden Gem, & I know that you know that I really do. If you want to check some other categories, just check what you think what category(ies) fits my blog the most.

I know it's a lot for me to ask you of this, but I really have a good feeling about this & that I know you'll share the word somehow, because this recognition will finally pave the way for us to prove that my blog you've been visiting is really a hidden gem that's waiting to be discovered.

Just think, I get to be one of the best bloggers in the Asia Pacific with your help. This will be the best gift I'll be receiving from all of you this Christmas & I really am gonna appreciate this forever, for I am nothing without your participation & without your presence in my blog. Please give my determination a chance, please?


So you can nominate Lefty's Journal by clicking this form right here. Fill your information first so your vote could be counted in this contest.

Now, like what the picture beside this post is showing, type havock_pone@yahoo.com or aldrinne_leyva@yahoo.com in the nominee email, www.allan-leyva.blog.friendster as my name address, Lefty's Journal as my blog name, country of origin in Philippines, & please check the two categories which are The Best Entertainment Blog & The Best Hidden Gem. After that, click the button 'submit nomination' & please cross your fingers with me. :)

I really owe you for doing this; this is my only chance to be recognized by the blogosphere & I hope you're there when I receive the trophy. I'm really expecting this time. Please visit my blog just once everyday too, even if you don't have to read the content. Your visit will be counted as one blog unique by opening the blog.

My chance in winning the nominations will increase when you kill a little of your time to nominate me. Thank you so much guys! I hope we'll win! God bless & more power to Lefty's Journal!

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne :D

Retino-BLAST-oma

A 30-hour wakefulness didn't do me any good... cognitively I guess, but physically... I'm not sure. lol

Sorry guys for my absence, but after my crazy Audit class yesterday I went straight to church then went home only to find out my research on Retinoblastoma (cancer of the eye on pediatrics) wasn't saved in my laptop. Good thing I'm just gonna pass it tomorrow.

When I think about it, I'm actually conducive to my assigned topic haha, though I wish my eyes can still take all my strenuous activities. I promise I'm gonna sleep early later tonight; it'll help normalize my body clock.

Anyways, it sucks when you're getting used to your duty then it's all gonna be over tomorrow. I'm sure gonna miss those little angels who were so behaved (& knowledgeable than us lol) when we're trying to study them.

So after our duty I went to a mall near the venue & had lunch there. It's kinda weird eating alone; I don't know why but it's actually the first time I ate without anyone to accompany me. Plus, some people are definitely looking at me (I'm not paranoid); the best reason I thought was because I was wearing all white... guess it's there first time to see a nurse eating.

Ignoring them, I picked up my PRN review book & started to chug some food down while reading... mastering the congenital heart diseases.

I could've been strolling around the mall looking for new clothes but I thought of books, so I spent my time reading this book I was planning to buy awhile ago (I'm gonna buy it tomorrow though); it was all about the serial killer who almost took away fifty women in Seattle dates 1982 (not sure) until the year 2004. I wasn't planning reading it but I really love criminology too, & I've also put to use my recently acquired psychiatric nursing-mind to diagnose this killer- Yep! Freud's anal stage. I guess his mom made an anti-social kid & was successful. Yikes!

Two o'clock & then I took off. I dozed off for about an hour & now I'm still widely awake chatting with you guys. Okay, project good-mental-heroine is now activated! Haha! I hope you had a good day too! God bless :)

Shaping in, shipping out, Allan :D

Rational Plotkai

I gotta hand it to the PRN professors; they really know how to prepare us to our future. Boo-yeah!

I know Audit class is probably designed to assess whether we're ready to take up the board exams in the near future, & it'll show how much you have learned from the subjects you had encountered from the past.

We all know that's impossible too... well, possible, but hard & time-consuming, but I'm happy how much we depend on review centers so much, though I'm not really sure if other centers do that. I'll stop judging from here. haha Well, at least our speakers also credit something (more like, SOMETHING! lol) out of their sessions- still a win-win situation.

Anyways, albeit the lack of sleep, I really had a fun, entertaining & productive day listening to developmental theories. Yes! It's a simple topic, but it's really more focused on analyzing than it was on recalling them, & I saw it more like a parenting class than any other things, which is actually good! I needed that class anyway if I'm gonna have children of my own someday.

For now, I'm gonna focus my love on Anton & Macky, my cousins... well, more like my cute little friends whom I miss so much... & aunt Gina too! I only have to wait four more months so I could hug my brothers again! Ha! :D

It was a perfect day if I might say, but of course, emo Allan struck me again last night. Well, paranoid, more than an emo. I just realized I'm wrong about the moral support thing from my old friends; I couldn't blame them because they're busy with their lives, but I've thought about aversion & how much it could destroy my character.

Long story short, I'm worried about eyes & tongues...

But all in all, I couldn't really please everyone. As long as I got my true friends, a cool deviant (lol) family & my God, I don't have anything to worry about. Besides, it's really true & definitely possible to have a heart that can love even your meanest enemies or those people whom didn't like you because of your status in life (or you just probably suck in their eyes... funny, I thought of an S-name). King David asked for a new heart (that, for me, comes with a new tongue) that do not boast nor judge someone.

Although it's still vague & too early to tell (not really, I wanted a genuine faith so bad), maybe there's still a lot of processes we need to undergo to make it through the end of that tunnel- whether we get intimated or isolated, that's just Erikson's way of saying hi!

Also have to share this photo I took last week ago when I was running some errands. I took a picture of the bridge where I was almost mobbed by those goons. Cause of the trauma, I really waited for someone to accompany me while crossing that small bridge- that was girly of me (lol), but I don't want it to happen again. Plus, there's a creepy man standing over there... yikes!

I tend to over talk... or overtype, am I? Well, I really want to make something out of my day... even though it'll bore you to death anyhow, but still, thank you especially to my Argentinean readers today. Hope you had a productive day too cause I surely did! :)

Shaping in, shipping out, BMI of 22.4! Woot :D

162nd Song- Who Are You

Who Are You

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

I see your smile in the back of my mind

Who are you?

I need to know if you really exist

Who are you?

My mind is playing tricks to me

Holding down on me

I’m not that needy still I believe

It’s you who gives me life

You who shows the light

But then again, I don’t know your name

(Chorus)

Who are you?

Why do I think of you?

Are you the one who calms my spirit in tune?

I know it’s you who can give me the peace

& the tears cause I don’t know if you live

Answer me who are you

I see your blurry face

I think that in time

I could meet you

You’re making me the man I could be

But still, who are you?

Your face I couldn’t interpret

Tell me, don’t you fret

I know someday you’ll show up to me

Please give me a chance

To know I’m not in trance

If I wake up, I just wish you are here

(Repeat Chorus)

(Instrumental)

(Repeat Chorus 2x)

Who are you?