167th Song- Change Me Now

Change Me Now

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

Two hearts together make them one

Dark streets, light up on me

Reach out & then we’ll surpass these

Judgments that they have thrown

(Chorus)

Change me now 

You know I couldn’t wait

One moment, faraway from you

Take my hand

You’ll fix this broken love

& don’t you worry

I know you’ll change me

Change me now

Fighting, fight off this feeling

Better if you succumb

I’ll be a better man than him

Love me then you will see

(Repeat Chorus)

Gold strings try control me

& I know you made a point

Blue songs let me know that it’s so bad to be alone

Bad storms just reminded that there’s so much love I’ll show

Silver winter snow is the proof our love is true

(Instrumental)

(Repeat Chorus)

(Chorus)

Change me now

You know it’s all a must

To be the one you

Wouldn’t take my limits off

Set apart the things that can destroy

All our love in what you’re saying

What you showed me

Please just find me &

Change me now

I'm Perfect & Imperfect

Ever since... I actually don't remember, but what I'm trying to say is that I have this thing where I want everything to be perfect. Well, at least that's what I wanted to be.


At an early age, I likely developed my stage of industry by doing my chores whenever I feel like it. What's weird was I tend to overdo cleaning, & in the end I just pat myself on the back while I take a shower. When it comes to art, I make sure that the lines are perfect when I draw or color, well, who doesn't anyway? When I entered 4th grade, I think that's when I started to carry an alcohol sanitizer or disinfectant. I also tend to transfer my notes from my 'scratch notebook' & into my original notebook... blah blah blah, obsessive compulsive, antisocial, schizophrenia, word salad! Whatever! My point is that I rather make myself squeaky clean than worry about getting any flu virus or any kinds of diseases.


Today, I still do overdo cleaning.. but it's more likely evident when it comes to organizing & arranging stuff. I still make my drawings or even my writing (as you can see in my blog) perfect enough for everyone to appreciate. There was an instance that I even carried three disinfectant- an alcohol & a sanitizer for my hands & a toilet disinfectant for emergency purposes. I kinda carry two or more 'scratch' notebooks & I couldn't make myself stop writing all the things that are being written or being shown on the board.

So I had my 'perfectionistic' side... & today I kinda screwed it up.

I don't know but being able to convince myself that I'm perfect (or kinda) is really a big problem of mine. I even cross the line sometimes... & that's not even healthy. Being a perfectionist requires more pretentious activities that sometimes go beyond than what I've expected. I also pretended to be histrionic, a goody too shoes, a brainiac & things that I couldn't even describe due to my crazy antics.


Today, however, I became vulnerable; I acknowledged the things that needed to be there; I looked at the mirror for the longest time with a flashlight hitting my face; I cried my eyes out, thinking it was something I had to do in private but it's better if I let the people know it; I emptied my mind & focused on the ceiling for a couple of minutes; I accepted my lack of knowledge, wisdom & skills; I accepted my holistic self; I discarded the fact that I'm perfect... & decided that's it's so much better to be the opposite.

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne- The imperfect but better version :)

Meet the Newest Beatles Encore

For Part 1, Click here!


Help!

Come Together

Here, There & Everywhere

Yellow Submarine

I Saw Her Standing There

Here we go again! Academy award director Robert Zemeckis & Producer Don Shain bring you the sequel of the very famous blockbuster hit Meet the Newest Beatles- MTNB Encore!

A year after their struggle for success, Bryan, Andrew, Lucky, & Suk-Eunkyu thought they've passed the test... only to find out they've just reached the first round of tribulation. This time, they need help not only from Uncle Cooper, but from a soldier & a painter?

Being the leader of the group, Bryan Edworth (played by Daniel Radcliffe) always has a plan for everything. With a smart mind he always have a plan to get away from the paparazzi & the crowd. Then he met a girl named Sunday (played by Emma Watson), a singer, & together they fell in love with each other. Bryan might've been living the perfect life, although sometimes love & work really couldn't go well together. After Bryan met Sunday, he arrives late at the group's concerts & in everything else, with being caught up by the fans as his only excuse. When the group discovered why Bryan acts like this, they let him decide whether to choose who or what he really loves the most.

Andrew Tennessee's (played by David Archuleta) family might've accepted his chosen career, but they aren't really used to seeing him with his friends. Andrew's parents are a little bit racist in nature, so they couldn't help but worry for Andrew especially when they've noticed that he changed. They soon hired some talented teenagers to be friends with Andrew. Because the band of Beatles are having problems of their own, Andrew is tempted to perform with his other friends, & now he must choose whether to be with the Beatles or to be with his 'perfect' friends.

After leaving his company & became a singer, Lucky Evo (played by Aldrinne Leyva) is determined to become more famous that what he had achieved so far. The problem now is he couldn't focus on writing good songs now, & he is too proud to get some help with famous compositors, saying an original composition wouldn't be his when someone change it. He eventually met Mary (played by Hilary Duff), a die hard fan with a great talent for writing. The two become close, but Lucky couldn't escape from his family's tradition, now that he is unknowingly engaged for an arranged wedding! Now he's facing a lot of problems about his writing abilities, his 'girlfriend' & his family too!

Suk-Eunkyu (Played by Jang Geun-suk) knows he is smooth when it comes to the ladies, especially now that he is famous... unfortunately, not famous enough for model/actress/singer Vivian (played by Leighton Meester). Suk-Eunkyu became crazy about Vivian, & he is determined to win her heart. Vivian planned to disband the Beatles just to become more famous, so he used Suk's heart to initiate it. When the group blames Vivian for their diminishing fame due to different issues, Suk hesitated to continue singing with them & is planning to be with Vivian instead. In the end, will he choose his friends... or his fake girlfriend?

Because Lucky is having a hard time in writing a song, Bryan, Andrew & Suk secretly hired a soldier who doesn't want to be a soldier in the first place but to be a composer & a singer instead, Eagle Nathaniel Cade (played by Zac Efron). Eagle is a good singer, but a bad actor; he is hired not only to secretly write, but to pretend as Cooper's assistant just so Lucky wouldn't know. Is he able to outwit Lucky's smart observations? Will he choose the path of making music or the path towards a battlefield?

Oliver Ryle Eastman (played by Robert Pattinson) is a painter rather than a singer even when his good at both talents. The only problem is, he needs money to be able to graduate as a fine arts student. Andrew's parents hired him to pretend as one of Andrew's new friends who have a talent for performing. Eventually, he became close with the Beatles as well. Will he try to pretend being friends with Andrew as he do the same with Andrew's friends as well? What art will he choose instead?

Before, their problem was only their race... but now, it's wuth everyone else! Catch Meet the Newest Beatles Encore & you'll see how they struggle for fame at the second time around.

For more updates & information regarding the sequel, go to http://mtnb-encore.com & you can even win free tickets in their world premiere on December 14, 2013!

A Bionic & Biological Father

Being appreciative... or becoming more appreciative is one of the things I really learned this year. I mean, why can't I? This year I got myself a father, a more uncomplicated relationship with my mom (lol she's gonna be so angry when she sees this), a better complexion on the inside & on the outside, a better outlook in life, a better school with great professors, a new set of friends, & a better appreciation towards the five of my best of friends Eric De Los Santos, Mark Antony Jabalde, Rachelle Ang, Mhae Co & Celine Leonardo even when we don't see each other more often now. & oh yeah... Twitter too! lol


It's a crazy journey... really a crazy journey. I think I have to give an even more better kudos at my loving God, who never gave up on changing me. Crazy changing journey!


There are still a lot of downsides in my life though. It's better to acknowledge it & focus on a lot of happy thoughts but sometimes you just have to say it. Before I drank two glasses of coke & got a sugar rush from it, I thought about my biological dad & how he's doing with his own family now. I don't do drama much (like before) but I couldn't imagine how an adult like my dad do such a thing to us.


I'm not really being judgmental, people. I guess it's probably one of those reflection-moments where I asked myself if people usually follow the rules... or follow their hearts. My dad actually did the latter one, & I'm not sure (20% sure & 80% unsure) if he's happy with the things he'd received after this big decision. I'm not against his family there too, of course; I think it's still nice that his children there have a father to look up to. Trust me... it's no fun being the eldest & have this job where you get to be the father of your own family. Being responsible at an early age, too, both has a positive & negative effects.


Either way, at least I think I turned out right... not that there's no right or wrong in growing up, I'm just a little blessed in a way.


I kinda associated my biological father to a bionic one too... maybe because of the fact that he couldn't get emotional when it comes to our emails; I think not replying is more like not taking his long-distance-dad-job seriously & that it feels like he doesn't need kids like us. I don't know... I'm pretty sure he couldn't have the strength to send something too, but I want him to understand how we don't want to be left hanging especially those times when we were expecting him to email us about our situation here during the typhoon Ketsana/ Ondoy. My dad now, on the other hand, was really worried... so it kinda compensated that of my biological dad's big time!

The only thought about this post is... can people be emotionally bionic all the time?

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne

Rumors

Once you were able to put off that spotlight on you, the show doesn't stop there...


I'm not really planning to live in the past. Heck, I'm even way over it. From school to being physically fit to having a better spiritual life to having a good relationship with everyone I know... or so I've thought.


When it comes to rumors, let's just say it's not so new to me anymore; everyone talks & it's in our nature to judge a person whom we don't know so much. That's alright, I guess... when you have no idea of that person. When judging becomes too much though, it's a different story.


First of all, some of my friends (well... I don't know if they still are anymore) in my new school. In my opinion, I don't really get affected with rumors about me too much... not that I love being the center of attention (I don't need to), I just don't care cause they don't really know me. It's completely normal to be gossiped about by people you don't know. What's annoying is having your friends do it to you.


Maybe it's inevitable because I'm like the 'new meat' in school, but I hate the fact that my new friends couldn't even tell something to my face. Whenever I remember being alone during my first day of school... I couldn't help but appreciate the pseudo-silence.


The scariest rumor I've received just last night was that I was blacklisted from taking the local board examinations. As soon as I got my friend's text message about that... it's like my brain didn't receive enough oxygen to sustain my equilibrium. That rumor was not believable at all... but I still took it seriously because of the things that have happened to me.


Anyways, I have to ignore these bad stuff around me & focus on the important things... especially my Audit final examinations tomorrow. Wish me luck! Mom is trying to make me review now! God bless & see you later! By the way... rumors are just the halitosis of the mind. Shrugging it off now!

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne :D

FAB- Facts About Bloggers

"When you have something to say... you can either tell your friends by talking, or tell the whole world through blogging." - Aldrinne Leyva

In my two years in the blogging business, I sometimes wonder the differences of bloggers from other people. It's not that we're like abnormal people, aliens or something, it's just that people have been asking me about the thrill through typing your ideas. Because of the fact that I tend to get silent depending on my mood, I've thought about highlighting the characteristics of us bloggers.

FAB 1: First of all, bloggers are more sensitive in nature. This is because we like to disregard blurting out some words that sometimes can deliver a wrong impression or conclusion. Since we're careful on what we say or we want to clear out something, we tell it to people using one of the fastest ways & that is through blogging. In the process of blogging, we are also able to be careful on what we type. You see, unlike talking, blogging has an undo & backspace buttons that you can use. I think it's a good way to be able to compose your thoughts & turn it into something which people can connect to.

FAB 2: Second characteristic of a blogger- our observation & imagination skills are better. Honestly, I lack too much when it comes to being observant not as much as being imaginative, but when it comes to blogging, we get to hone both skills because when we talk about something, flight of ideas just enters our minds. For instance, when I talk about David Archuleta, everything about what he just did & what he's planning to do automatically distorts my brain in a good way. By blogging about it, we could actually make something out of those ideas & turn it into something like 'oh, so this is the David I am talking about' or 'so this is why David is doing it'... something like that.

FAB 3: Third fact about bloggers is that they live their lives in a good stance between their public & their private lives. Sometimes people give you a wrong impression & the only thing you can do is make them know you. Again, one of the most fastest ways is through blogging. Of course, bloggers don't live too private because we get to say what we want to say infront of the computer, & not too public because we tend to hide ourselves from words, unlike video blogging. Not that I don't love vlogging, sometimes it can develop more haters that can break you. In blogging, more words... less pain.

FAB 4: Fourth fact about bloggers is that they hold a great record of their past experiences & opinions. We don't have Alzheimer's or something for forgetting some past activities, but it's really great when you have this kind of public journal where you can read online whenever you browse your blog. Blogging for us is really helpful because it's like a recovery file when you're computer went crazy on us. In my own personal experience, I'm grateful that I've posted my compositions here because whenever my laptop accidentally reformats itself, at least I still have the files of my songs. We also get to store past events that sometimes we forget & we must remember for sharing or emo-mode purposes. lol

FAB 5: Last but definitely not the least fact about bloggers is that they learn to be appreciative. Because of the fact that I become silent sometimes, I could probably praise like a million people in one time when I'm blogging, & still make it like special to each & every one of them. I mean, we don't usually get to give people a good job sign.. sometimes we just think about their good deeds afterward. When it comes to blogging, we bring out the best in people we talk about & become more focus on the good side of a person or a situation. People live in a black-&-white world, but either way, we give the benefit of the doubt.

So here are the top five facts/reasons why we blog! You see, we don't usually blog for popularity or money... we blog for ego-integrity & better humanity. So whenever you think you can dance... or blog, you're actually making the world a better place.

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne :D

Know-I-ng

Sometimes I get to juggle everything that I keep forgetting myself in the process. It's likely my typical adaptation to the world we're living in... & even when things might have been getting better, there are moments when you think it's not. These moments, however emotional it can be, are actually happening to me right now.

I feel ambivalent to the person that I am, I guess. If the world stops revolving, you couldn't really help but reflect on the things that have happened in the past few days. All I know was I've been talking to many people about their problems or concerns, but at the end of the day, I couldn't help but ask myself if I did talk my own concerns to myself. I know it's weird, but it's something you have to do by yourself for yourself.

I tend to over-rationalize & that's the problem. I tend to over-rationalize on questions, on life, on observations & on love. The more I over-rationalize, the more I get wrong... & just now, I gave a wrong conclusion to something valuable...

It's gonna be alright, but then again, I might have to take these few days off & completely assess myself... what you see isn't what you get!

Shaping in, shipping out, Aldrinne

166th Song- Mistakes & Stakes (11th Album Title)

Mistakes & Stakes
Allan Aldrinne Leyva

In truth, it’s just a little
A little imagination
My mind is starting to regain some attention

Whenever you are here
I try to see it clear
Feigning the truth behind the lie

I know I step beyond the line
Pretend that everything’s defined
But now there’s something I just did
My flaw- I fall for you again

(Chorus)
It’s you who made me fill up
My mistakes
Stop what you’re doing now
I cross the line & then form a stake
Cause for all your sake
I break down

Right now, what could’ve been
Could’ve been when I just
Stayed away & let you decide what’s better

But I could never reach
The things you’ve set for me
It’s killing me everything I try

If I just step beyond the line
Pretend that everything alright
& now I’m here alone again
Love you while you’re leaving me
(Repeat Chorus)

Less of myself, I’ve just made
Just to regain the one I was before
I couldn’t set my hate on you
It’s more aloof
When I stay away from you
(Repeat Chorus 2x)

My mistakes & stakes

165th Song- Took Me Long Enough

Yes! It did took me long enough to make another song... actually, I have been writing songs two months ago but I wasn't able to post it here since I'm saving it whenever I don't have anything to say to you guys. Unfortunately, due to recent laptop problems *clears throat*, I haven't had the chance to recover maybe six of my songs that I haven't posted.

Because I learned my lesson now, I posted this song that I've made just a little while ago. I'm actually having flight of ideas on what concept I should be writing tonight but then I ended up composing this cute little song... Enjoy guys! I have to sleep now...

Took Me Long Enough
Allan Aldrinne Leyva

This time, I’m following my heart
Putting all emotions
Into our own direction

Cause this time, I’ve realized that you
Are the only one that’s true
In the end it’s you

(Chorus)
It took me long enough
To understand
How love can make a man
When you are here
I just can’t believe
It’s like a dream to me
Took me long enough
To realize it’s you

Now this time, I felt the need to see you
The need of your attention
& everything about you

This time, my thoughts are all to you
If we’re apart I’m restless
Won’t you stay beside me too?
(Repeat Chorus)

Stop pretending
Don’t you worry
Everything’s gonna be the same
Feel this feeling
I love you, say it
(Everything’s gonna be the same)
(Repeat Chorus 2x)

It took me long enough
To realize that I love you

Thank you...

Hey guys! I'm back to blogging again, & this time I'm gonna make sure I won't be doing such a risky thing like my sudden evacuation from one blog to another. I mean, I was seriously having troubles finding myself a perfect blogging platform; of course there was Wordpress, Blog, Typepad & etc. but I have to go for a URL with a blogspot.com on its end.

Anyways, I myself am surprised that my hands were trying to control my itch to blog, & leaving my Friendster blog made me ambivalent in my decision to settle for another one. My only reason why I moved was because of its blogging storage space thingy, & it's filling up so I had to take actions.

So I'm still not an expert of this CSS thingy where I can manipulate all the designs but I'm sure I'll be gaining some knowledge to that in the future.

My first post of this month... just a simple thank you note! I really am devastated but more overjoyed by how things have happened these past few weeks. By now, I'm sure that the whole world has heard of the recent typhoon that took so much from the Philippines. Of course, we've also heard about the earthquake in India & the tsunami in Samoa. Seems like different natural (& somehow man-made) calamities have been circling around the globe & some people are wondering if God is cleansing again like that of Noah's time.

First of all, God already promised that He wouldn't do that again... not that it's bad (nothing is bad when it comes to God's decisions) but because He was trying to give us a message (not a warning). Luckily, almost all the people in this world have figured it out.

The typhoon Ketsana that almost flooded the entire National Capital Region left us a frightening scene that I couldn't believe it happened in the first place. When the rain started to flood the school area, I went straight home to prepare for a family event in Las Pinas. Obviously, my grandmother texted me to stay in our house than venture outside. I was stucked, actually, but I'm comfortable.

At around one o'clock the electricity went out. I planned to sleep as a mean of waiting for the rain to stop & the electricity to come back. Unfortunately, the rain did stop but left a flood outside our village. The electricity hasn't changed at all. During that moment I thought I was suffering too much... but when I watched the news the day after, I felt guilty complaining at all.

Pictures & videos everywhere about the flood heightened both our alertness & will to help. Long story short- we browsed the internet & watched the news about where & when to volunteer. One of my bestfriends, Eric, & I invited our friends to go help & volunteer. We really had so much fun packing & carrying some stuff. It was like we're helping & having fun at the same time.

This post is actually for the people who gave their time away just to volunteer. First off, Eric De Los Santos whom I call a 'schizophrenic man with a golden heart' lol. If it wasn't for him, we wouldn't be able to have this volunteering-activity in the first place. I also want to thank my close friends Reese Ortega who have been coordinating with the plans (on what color we should all wear lol), Jhing Dalmacion who is very determined to help, Raymond Cruz, achi Angeli Martin who is 'truly an angel underneath all that vanity', Jannah Pua with her crazy antics, Mommy Margie Olivares & Ahiya Mynard Enano, Joanna del Castillo, Edward Campomanes, Karla Bagasin, & of course, my 'bestpre' Mark Jabalde for showing his efforts just to volunteer. All these people that I've mentioned really has a good heart & I'm proud having friends like them. Thank you guys!


I know everyone would be saying that they have lost everything or something like that, but I think we've gained so much more. We've gained friends, alertness, concern to our fellow countrymen, value to our country, & so much love from the people & from our God.

To where I came from... everybody's a hero.

Shaping in, shipping out, I'm back! Aldrinne :D