2013 Text Messages

A followup post from: http://allan-leyva.blog.friendster.com/archives/1085

 
Message 952:
A, u did gr8 on d press launch awhile ago. D practice 4d clothing concierto wil start nxt wik. I'll send u d details. Nyt.

From: CEO Sophia Bush

7:47 PM 25-MAR-13

Message 953:
Lan Lan! practice 4 c.c. will start nxt wik thursday. gr8 press launch. no, the shooting of mtnb2 will start on saturday, not friday. ayt?

From: DJ Cheleta

7:48 PM 25-MAR-13

Message 954:
In voice enhancement class with rob. Zac said the shooting wil b on friday...

From: Dan Radcliffe

7:51 PM 25-MAR-13

 
Message 955:
Tnx for d info. I tot its gona b on friday... :D

From: Jang Geun-Suk

7:53 PM 25-MAR-13

Message 956:
Lan, congrats! we made it on 2013 most powerful stars on showbiz. Ur top 6 n i'm top 3 again. Miss hangin' out wit u. Wen ru vctng Philpines agen? :)

From: Lloydy Cruz

8:01 PM 25-MAR-13

 
Message 957:
Up! Gud job on ur press launch. Oh yeah, we encoded 65 heads on ur account frm ur north carolina branch...

From: DL.Ryan

8:05 PM 25-MAR-13

 
Message: 958:
Its fun hir. U shud come sumtyms... rob is enjoying... i bought a copy of ur movie megaman. hoorah! :P

From: Dan Radcliffe

8:06 PM 25-MAR-13

Message 959:
Miss u too, A. I'll b in paris for d weekends. Love u! :)

From: Hilary D.

8:15 PM 25-MAR-13

 
Message 960:
Haha i told dem d shooting wil b on friday... it was changd... oh well... wat tym agen?

From: Zac E!

8:17 PM 25-MAR-13

 
Message 961:
Ur new album also was describd hir on d mag. I hope u vct me soon hir or il come dr on d US 2 pick u up... haha...

From: Lloydy Cruz

8:17 PM 25-MAR-13

Message 962:
Dream n Redeem... ryt?

From: Lloydy Cruz

8:18 PM 25-MAR-13

Message 963:
Sir, d shooting wil start in 5 minutes... just checkn up on u der bakcstage.

From: PA Jen

8:19 PM 25-MAR-13

Message 964:
Ok... saturday it is!

From: Danny Henney

8:19 PM 25-MAR-13

Message 965:
Ok, gud luck on ur shooting der... :)

From: Hilary D.

8:20 PM 25-MAR-13

Clothing Concierto Sets Date

A followup post from: http://allan-leyva.blog.friendster.com/archives/713

March 25, 2013- C/B For Him Spokesperson Allan Leyva scheduled a press launch to set the date for the The 2013 Clothing Concierto which will happen on the fourth of May, Saturday in Madison Square Garden.

"It's gonna be me, Daniel (Radcliffe), Dave (Archuleta), Geun-suk (Jang Geun-suk), Danny (Henney), Rob (Pattinson), & my best friend Eric (De Los Santos)" Allan Leyva stated, after he explained why Efron isn't gonna be joining the said event.

Daniel Radcliffe & Robert Pattinson already enrolled on a voice enhancement class to prepare for the concert plus fashion event of the year. David Archuleta together with Eric De Los Santos are already preparing for the ramps & the cat walk.

This year, aside from the new C/B logos, Clothes Over Bros will be presenting their newest clothing line, the ERA Collection, which features Steen! & Basic Purple.

"The fans are gonna love it so much. Just imagine having a concert & a fashion show at the same time. Plus, there's gonna be a lot of surprises in store for the audience."
 
The 2013 Clothing Concierto tickets are now available. For tickets & information visit www.c/b.com

128th Song- The Different Side

The Different Side

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

In the darkness, I once hide

In the past I fought but I always lose

In the end I’ve crossed the boundaries

But in the end I know that I have failed myself

(Chorus)

But I know it’s gonna be just fine

& I know it’s gonna be alright

Cause I just know

The greatest thing from all these problems

Is the thought of you being there for me

I know it’s gonna be so hard

& I know it’s gonna turn out bad

But I do know

You’re the one who’ll make these all go away

Though I’m stuck in the empty rooms

& I am below in the lines to all the pain & shame

As long as you’re here with me

I am not scared to face the emptiness within

(Repeat Chorus)

You had me at my best

You had me at my worst

All the memories are fading

Just to make room of the thoughts on you

I had you at your best

I had you at your worst

I know it’s gonna be just fine

I know it’s gonna be alright

(Repeat Chorus 2x)

I know you’re gonna be

The one who’ll always see

The different side of me

127th Song- You're You & I'm Just Me

You’re You & I’m Just Me

Allan Aldrinne Leyva

I’m staring blankly, trying to find something tonight

Are you wondering what I’m thinking?

It’s all the about the pieces

That you’ve put in my beliefs

I thought your love was just a joke to me

Told you what the heck, I still believe

& I am glad that from the people I can love

Miles away it’s you whom I have

& all the while I see your face

You’re sure in what you say

Until you told me that you love me too

& now you proved it’s true

What can I do?

(Chorus)

 

& you said

You’re allowed to love someone you could fix

& that I’m giving you the world to me

I’m allowed to give back all the things that you’re giving

You ask me “why’d you always think you don’t deserve me?”

I kissed your lips & answered you this

 

You’re you & I’m just me

It’s simple but it’s real

  

& now I’m scared while looking at your sleepy eyes

Would you accept me & just be sufficed?

I’m serious when I told you

That I’m still new at this phase

You’re handling me with fragility

I ask why waste your time in loving me

(Repeat Chorus)

I thought your love is just a simple courtesy

An act of getting back for what I did

It’s all about the fate

Who did good once in a while

By giving me someone that I can’t just love

One whom I can praise & bragged about

The only one who knows ‘side & out

(Repeat Chorus 2x)

You’re you & I’m just me

Good Outcomes From Nega News

Everything is set to self-destruct anytime this week, but I'm still holding on my faith so hard that sometimes I think it's pretending to be strong.

I have cried my tears & I've written off my feelings, & now I'm back.

This is actually the first time in my whole life that I've ever been such a mess which I can't obviously undo. I sank rock-botton & still am, & I'm just riding with it than going against it, because it'll be harder & more dissapointing when you didn't escape from failure than anticipating it already. However, I'm not destined to fail, I know that.

I have a lot of dreams & dang it! I'm just nineteen years old. It's not the end of the world for me. It never was. Although I was pretty under the weather lately I know I can still rise. You may think I'm crazy cause of what I've said in my earlier posts, I'm not. I still am in the process of hurting but I am contrasting. I always want to feel the opposite just so I could feel better now.

If people ask me what things have you learned from all of this, I can only say one answer- I tried... & that's never a waste to me. Good outcomes always exist from negative news.

Signing off, A

Episode 3-19-09- Quit

"Yuan... don't!" there was a boy shouting.

He can't stop me from doing what I'm about to do. For two years I've tried to be on the right track, it took two days for me to realize I was on the wrong train. I was going to the wrong direction. I was dumbfounded to realize it was a mistake from the start to the end.

"We can resolve this... we can surpass this..." he cannot convince me with lies.

Why could he be afraid? It's not the end of the world if I quit... if I leave everything behind... if I can't start over again. It's not the end of the world, but it's the end for me. Why can't he face what I'm facing now? He's courageous unlike me. He's stronger. He's better. He's wiser. But why is he afraid at me? He's afraid to me who's afraid at him; who's weak, worst, & stupid. Why is he afraid?

"I can help you. You're not alone." He's still lying.

How in the world can he do it? I myself can't do it even with people who were there to help me, who were there to save me, who were there to pick me up though I refused, who gave up on me without me blaming them, who were there before & gone now, who lost to me (or the other way around), who were there to just pity me. How in the world can he do it alone?

"Don't you dare jump, Yuan McFallon." I grinned. He dared fate... who's winning.

I'm not jumping off this cliff. I'm not jumping to end my life. I'm not jumping because I can't handle these problems anymore. I'm not jumping because I don't know how. I'm not jumping because I lost. I'm not jumping off this cliff because I can't cope anymore... wait... I am jumping.

His voice echoed with grief & pity. "Please don't Yuan." he begged me.

I begged faith. Faith begged plan. Plan begged the place. The place begged the world. The world begged fate. Fate disagreed, so as the world, the place, the plan, the faith & I. I'm in the edge of the cliff now, waiting for the wind to do its part.

"Don't do it Yuan... please." He's coming to me now... wait. No, he was beside me all this time, wait, he was behind me, ready to prevent me from falling, no... he was infront of me, raising his hands wide to block me from doing what I had to do... no, wait... no, I'm sure now, he was exactly on the right place where I'm standing now... wait... what?

All this time it was me who's convincing myself from not jumping off the cliff, from ending my world, my life. As I've said, I'm stupid, people gave up on me, I'm alone... literally alone. He was on the right place where I'm standing now, there was a boy shouting... where? It was me all along. It was me who wants to jump & me who wants to save myself. It was me who's devastatedly discouraged, & me who was my past- optimistic, strong, better, wise, unafraid, afraid although still alone.

My heart is beating fast. There were tears rolling down on my cheeks. I looked down to where I'm ending everything & starting a jinxed legacy. I've felt the emptiness. I'm getting weak. Somewhere a wolf cried. "You're not alone... I promise you that."

The wind blew me off gently. I can't continue this any longer. I QUIT!

I've started to walk, weeping. I'm going back to the campsite.

Not For Your Eyes

For the past few weeks I've been in a constant frenzy of blaming everything to myself. Well... I do believe it wasn't all my fault, but all the tribulation that remained hanging beneath myself, waiting to go down on me, fell down altogether at last.

Devastation maybe the most superlative word I've ever encountered; there was sadness, there was emptiness, but there was devastation. Unfortunately for me, it's more than just that word. If in case there may be some instances where your world stop revolving, alas! My world just self-destruct. The worst part is, I can't blame anyone when clearly, someone has to be blame. The only thing that is wrong to me is that I do not put the mistakes they did on them, because this is what fate wanted me to suffer. This is God's will. Imagine the Titanic, how vastly huge this boat is, surrendered to the ocean, what more if it was just me- I'm sinking rock-bottom.

I've been down before, but never this under. I've risen like a phoenix before, I just don't know if I can do this now. I've surpassed all the mayhems before, I just don't know if I can surpass this without these huge & difficult consequences. I've been negative & positive, but never in my life have I been so sure if this thing shall pass, because it will literally take months for me to fix it. I was chosen to win before, now I'm more than just losing.

I gained friends, love, pride & money, & I'm afraid that I'd be losing more now. I have opened the door & opened the lights, but all I see now was darkness. I've triumphed over failure, now it's coming back with great strength, & I'm not sure if I could face it. No matter how I try to be positive, I always end up being the opposite.

You might think I'm over acting, but I'm not. I don't over react to something that seriously hurt me. You might think I could have help, but I can't. You might think I need help, I do... I really do- they abandoned me. I thought this year would be different, I'm surprised it's the same again.

Mayhems in March, I'm serious when I say this is an understatement. Somehow, I'm still not regaining my strength.  I'm not sure I will.

Demands

I've been always the one who's giving. Though I'm not expecting anything in return, sometimes I just want to receive, & now I'm demanding it.

1. I'm 19 years old & still young, but exposed to reality. Because fate, sometimes, just doesn't seem right, I just want to take a break from racing through college. I need some months for me to experience working & doing my business. I need some time away to figure out what's there beyond the school. I need to discover not just the world but myself too. As I said, I'm exposed, so why not remove the exposure-limit? I mean, it's just a few months & then I'm going back to school again anyways.

2. No person has not been controlled by money. While everything works hard for it, others just waste it away. I have learned the value of money by experience, & I doubt that it's easy to make money be trifled. I don't really need so much money, but if it's the only thing that would make my family be happy & contented in life, then I just want to have the best for them.

3. I wanna be known as a singer & a composer. It's kinda ridiculous but I really wanted to pursue music as my major career. I mean, this is the thing I love the most. This is my baby, & music is the only thing that defines me. I do not care if it'll be a rock band or a solo artist, I just want to write & sing!

4. I really need to experience living alone. I really need to live.

I've been always the one who's giving. Though I'm not expecting anything in return, sometimes I just want to receive, & now I'm demanding it.

Continue or Stop?

I have no strength nor voice to say I wanted to stop for a moment. No strength to face a connoisseurs' objections. No voice to tell what I am feeling. No courage to stop nor continue.

Fate has put me in a pedestal where I can no longer choose. It's either continue or stop. Either way, I'll fail.

What Changed?

March 27, 2008- "Excellent!"

You know, if I’m only thal well off, I would throw the biggest party as in right now! I’m so happy I got an excellent performance in our Oral Revalida awhile ago.

At first, I kinda woke up late because I can’t sleep last night, & when I arrived at past 9 am, there are only three people who were next until it was my turn. I thought this day would be one of the most unluckiest days in my life, but it turned out great!

Not only did my english proficiency never left me, I also am lucky to get an easy question. Now the only thing I need to do right now is hope that everything will turn out fine, & of course, enjoy the rest of the vacation. It’s only for two weeks, so yeah! I’m really gonna spoil the moment.

Congratulations to those who also made effort in the oral exam, I know everybody had done their best. We should all be thankful that everything went well. I know we could do it, even though the test does not end here. We still have a long, long journey to travel, & this will never be easy for us, I know. But let’s just stick to this moment right now & enjoy life the way it supposed to be. I’m ready to re-type all my compositions again, & I’ll be playing O2 Jam again lol.

Wha t, I didn’t say I don’t play childish games. It’s fun! 

Good day everyone

 

March 11, 2009- Wednesday Update!

...Although not everything follows when you’ve accomplished something big… some things just oppose. One of it was my friendship to a new friend of mine. I don’t know what happened but let’s just say there are a lot of misunderstandings in this whole wide world of ours. Another was that I’m on the edge of failing one of my subject because of being absent for two times already (due to our thesis) but I’ll be talking to our professor soon… hopefully she would understand my current situation & my forever-embedded skin allergies.

 

March 16, 2009

"What happened to me?" This is the only thing that bugged me all throughout this morning, that's why I haven't had the chance to sleep.

I try to be positive, even though waves & waves of tribulation drove me ashore. The thing is, even if I have to be optimistic, fate will never alter. Even if I have to be optimistic, everything will falter, & eventually will lead to failure. Incognito... that's the word for it.

What changed? Did I make a wrong choice? Did I turn to a wrong path? Did I become a monster? Did I pursue a wrong goal?

I walked through a short-cut- it's easier but then again, everything has its consequences. Now, I'm still in the state of confusion. What happened?

I thought it's better. I thought it's over. Who's to blame?

What changed?