Sudden Saddened

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We need not be afraid to face anything, but if we have to leave someone & something behind, then it's different.

I'm not afraid to die, I mean, it's just the same as being born & it's not the worst thing that can ever happen to you. Every year death & tax increase, but unlike death, tax gets worst. Death doesn't mean the end, it's still the beginning of the journey that we'll be taking.

The only thing that scares me the most is what I will be leaving in this world when I will pass away. I know in every person there's an unfinished business or something, & I might have tons of it if I succumbed to death. The bad thing about it is that I'm still not ready to leave everything behind, especially that I still have my dreams to pursue, my family to support & people to love. Although I have no choice if God Himself chose this path for me. I cannot refuse to that.

If I have to die, I just want everything being settled. I don't like leaving bad stuffs behind, I just want my legacy to continue. I'm not starting to do the things that will remember me the most, but let's just say I'm getting there.

To the family of Francis Magalona & to that of my friend & friend's family, my deep condolences to all of you. I know that these sudden happenings will leave you emotionally scarred for the time being, but let's not see death as a mean of leaving everything behind, but as a mean of having to live.

1 There is a time for everything,
       and a season for every activity under heaven:

 2 a time to be born and a time to die,
       a time to plant and a time to uproot,

 3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
       a time to tear down and a time to build,

 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
       a time to mourn and a time to dance,

 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
       a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

 6 a time to search and a time to give up,
       a time to keep and a time to throw away,

 7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
       a time to be silent and a time to speak,

 8 a time to love and a time to hate,
       a time for war and a time for peace.


-Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Megamania!

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March 12, 2013- The little blue boy raved up the theaters earning one hundred sixty million on the tenth day.

Albeit the bad reviews of the movie, Megaman became the hottest & definitely the coolest anime icon of the kids today.

"It's delightful to see that all these kids are looking up for Megaman," Allan Leyva who played X himself stated. "We definitely worked hard for this film & I think it deserves a thumbs up."

His companion Zero, played by Daniel Henney said "This may be my biggest break from all the films I've starred in, & it's pretty cool that you get to be a hero yourself."

Also in the movie was Blast Hornet, the second command of #0 Class unit, who was transformed from a Hunter to a Maverick. Blast Hornet was played by Patrick Wilson & one of the enemies on the game Megaman X3.

Another was Magma Dragoon, a friend of Megaman & Zero & who appeared in Megaman X4. We all know that he betrayed the two heroes in the game, but in the movie he did not cross over to the dark side... on the sequel of the movie, perhaps? Magma Dragoon was played by Jesse Bradford.

Blizzard Wolfang from Megaman X6 was also part of the movie where he was an investigator in the North Pole area, & his team was one day attacked by Mavericks. He managed to fend them off, but his team members were killed. The Reploid Research Team that was scheming his demise took advantage of the situation & tricked Alia into killing Wolfang by throwing him into the sea. When he was revived by Gate, he insisted on using the second chance to complete his mission, & had to be destroyed by X and Zero.

The characters of the game Dr. Cain, Iris, Alia, Douglas, Signas, Axl, Vile and of course, Sigma.

The movie is still in theaters nationwide! Visit the website at www.x-themovie.com for tickets & information.

Wednesday Update!

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I feel so relieved after stressful hours of finalizing our thesis. I just got home from my groupmate's house to finish it & we can finally breathe.

I really miss the constant posting here. For awhile now I've been so busy juggling everything in my student life that I can't seem to have time for an update. It kinda sucks when you just don't have the time for many things, & the first thing you want to wish is to stretch the time & the other way around at the same time to surpass all these busy life.

But it feels so good once you stop hammering yourselves on the head. I know it's temporary, but hell it's so damn good for the moment.

Okay, I'm actually patting myself on the back for what I've accomplished these past two weeks. Apart from the exhaustion & the fatigue (or beyond that) I acquired, I completely finished our thesis that was suppose to take month to finish & the funny thing is that we had our first copy at the middle of February where Mr. Garzon, our handsome & generous thesis adviser, rejected our proposal... or the whole project itself. We made a complete overhaul of the thesis which was rejected again. Another one which was approved, & had five revisions from it. I don't know how we did it! I just feel so happy getting the perfect card from a deck of unusual fate. I'm also proud(er) to myself & to my groupmates as well because I, as the leader, was able to control the group albeit the tribulation we have encountered.

Although not everything follows when you've accomplished something big... some things just oppose. One of it was my friendship to a new friend of mine. I don't know what happened but let's just say there are a lot of misunderstandings in this whole wide world of ours. Another was that I'm on the edge of failing one of my subject because of being absent for two times already (due to our thesis) but I'll be talking to our professor soon... hopefully she would understand my current situation & my forever-embedded skin allergies.

Okay, so I'm hanging up now & we'll be back as soon as you open this journal again... 'till then... God bless & take care everyone. Say goodnight Allan! :)

Signing off, A

Twenty-three People in One Body

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I had an epiphany awhile ago after I woke up & found myself typing my revised physical assessment findings, editing some of the patient health teachings, organizing all the parts of our case presentation for later with matching add-ons, reading & editing, making a powerpoint for the case presentation, printing two 'twenty-plus pages' copies of it, typing our survey tool & planning out our survey for later, counting my remaining allowance to pay the four make up duties I have because I didn't show up yesterday on our hospital duty, selling a PSP Slim, editing a picture for a tarpaulin, & contacting my downlines for an update, that I possess a one-man army.

How?

In our research project, I was the one who typed the survey tool & the letters for request. We were twelve in the group- I guess the work of the remaining eleven members were given to me, that's why I figured to skip a hospital duty that costed me P3,600 plus the previous one, P1,200 which makes me my guardian for myself. So that's already thirteen people (the original me + my eleven groupmates + guardian).

In our group for our case presentation, I was the one who organized & printed everything to be benefited by all of us. That sucks in my part because one of our group didn't send me his part. I mean, how long does it take to send a freakin' email compared to what I've done? Because of that, I covered the whole thing for him. I was even the one who made the presentation, again, to be benefited by all of us. I'm also the one who's gonna bring a laptop & a projector. So for this category, I have five people under my body.

To add all that, I'm the one who's editing a picture to be used for a tarpaulin, who's selling a friend's brand new PSP with no benefits from me whatsoever, who's contacting my downlines from my business, who's inquiring for a place to have my own training for my downlines & who's complaining right now in front of you people. So that makes me five people in one.

All in all, I have twenty-three people in my own body. I'm so exhausted.
 
Although...
 
Still expecting a fresh & brand new morning! God bless! :)
 
Signing off, Allan

Trigger Episode 3-6-09 - Rhythm of Despair

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The notes were laid on that piece of paper. Under those notes were letters, which consistently hide the lyrics embedded to it. Under those lyrics were words... that explain the depth & expression of the song. Like a song that is built to tell endless stories, we, ourselves, are that complicated to know what we truly feel.

The stars are singing as the moon leads the sky to serenity. While their faith inexorably grows on their own hands, there was someone who have destroyed its own. The worst part about that is, he's pretending that he's strong & fulfilled, even though he knows that he's weak & empty.

He shows no signs of weakness or emptiness, still. He stepped up on the stage, glanced, breathed, & gave one final glance, as he courageously... or cowardly sang within the rhythm of despair.

Yuan Mc Fallon, don't hide what you feel... it'll destroy you...

126th Song- All the Emptiness

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All the Emptiness
Allan Aldrinne Leyva

You said you’re hurt when I have changed
I could ask the same to you, just tell me if it’s true

I let you go without a word
Would I wait for you to say that you need some time & space?

I always lose control to the point that I can’t breathe
It’s not enough to say I love you or that I need you
I have strength that I cannot use
Just one look & I can’t refuse
I still believe in
In what you’re giving

(Chorus)
All the emptiness I’ve felt though I am occupied
This is my defense- my flaws & things that could go wrong
Won’t you believe that I could leave?
I’m now moving on, you’re hurting me more
It’s not a phase that I would face
There was nothing I can do if I’ve felt that I am empty with you

I cry my tears every night
It only shows that I can’t keep all the silence I had seen

He has someone that I can’t have
It’s you whom all the while, beside me but yet so far

I never seek some attention just to see
If you could care about what I am feeling or what I’m reeling
You were dense but I can’t erase
All the memories, they fade
I never question
To what you’re doing
(Repeat Chorus)

I always say that I will try
To ignore the things but then
I’ve always been defining
(Repeat Chorus 2x)

All the emptiness I’ve felt though I am occupied with you

JCA Student's Diary Bares Affair With Teacher

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I was inexorably appalled by the news that I have read after I was internet-surfing for some news. It's kinda disappointing to hear some bad news of your school. This is what I found out:

MANILA, Philippines - A 13-year-old girl’s alleged affair with her school’s 30-year-old teacher would have remained a secret if her mother had not decided to clean her room last Monday.

“The mother went to the girl’s room on Monday morning maybe just to clean it up but instead saw the diary and read the entries written by her daughter,” Chief Inspector Cherry Lou Donato, who heads the General Investigation Section of the Quezon City Police District-Criminal Investigation and Detection Unit, said yesterday.

Donato said in a journal entry dated Feb. 15, the girl wrote about the start of her affair with Randolph Sanchez, scoutmaster and commandant at the Jubilee Christian Academy on E. Rodriguez Sr. Avenue, where the girl is a seventh-grade student.

The other entries were the girl’s accounts of her teacher allegedly approaching her along school corridors and their intimate moments together in campus.

Donato said it appeared that the girl was introduced to Sanchez through a friend, and she was not under the suspect’s supervision.

The girl’s mother found the diary Monday morning and filed a complaint with the police, who went to the school to question the teacher.

 “When we went there at noon on Monday, he (Sanchez) was not on campus. We even went to his house in San Andres Bukid (in Manila) but he was also not there. He must have been tipped off and has gone into hiding,” Donato told The STAR.

She said Sanchez could be charged with child abuse and sexual harassment if the parents decide to sue him.

When asked to comment, Jomer Dujernia, the school’s human resources department head, confirmed Sanchez has been suspended after school officials were informed about the allegations.

Dujernia said the school does not want to issue any further statement at the moment.

Donato said the girl’s parents sought assistance from authorities not only because they wanted to put a stop to the affair between their daughter and the teacher but also for other parents or students to come out if they had the same experience with Sanchez.

“The parents suspect that the teacher may have had affairs with other students apart from their daughter,” Donato said. - By Reinir Padua (Philstar News Service, www.philstar.com)

Moving on...

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It's been half a year, but the memories of yesterday still lacerate the pain.

Everyone tells me that it's okay to get hurt sometimes- it makes you a human & that's it. However, we don't deserve to be hurt constantly in six straight months, especially that fate force it to get me hurt. Along with the process, it's like I destroyed my own personal sanctuary, without my intentions to take it down.

I wonder, how long does it take for a wound to heal? Does it have to do with how much of your emotional coagulation are working inside you, or do we just love to suppress ourselves into the pain that once throbbed so deep which keeps us from recovering?

If we don't deserve to get hurt, then we don't deserve to love...

300th Post!

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Blessings just keep getting better & better day by day.

March is the month where I first gave birth to my music, & with my 300th post finally here, plus my improving grades, the old Allan is finally back on track!

First prize baby!
First prize baby!
 
Awhile ago I won an award for 1st place in our school's song writing contest where I submitted by composition Global Family. I never thought I would win something cause I'm really not expecting at first- I really just tried it for fun & Jeah, my friend, encouraged me to participate. Now, I'm really happy that I kind of worked hard for that song, it's a motivation that I need to feel that my songs are really being appreciated in some ways. & now! I present to you my best & lovable lines from the past 100 posts... Enjoy! :)

1. So my world is falling apart… big deal!


2. It’s a big world out there… & no matter how you make it small… there’s no one who would care enough to sit beside you & just hold you hand.

3. We are the masters  of our own fate…

4. We are not the masters of our own fate, we simply take the bestest options life is giving us… 

5. Love & money would never even exist if you just wait for it…

6. Mr. Rembojo: Many students are leaving GCIC nowadays. How sure are you that you’re not going to leave GCIC?

Allan: Well, I’m not really a connoisseur, but I guess those students cannot really cope up with the studies here; maybe their incompetence do not match on this school’s academic level. Another reason is that the tuition here increases every semester. However, I am 100% sure that I’m going to finish my studies here at GCIC because I’m the type of person who finishes something once he started it.

Mr. Rembojo: Okay, thank you… Mr. Mananquil?

-An excerpt from the Oral Revalida

7. People need change to get away from tribulation, because they aren’t happy anymore.
 
8. I’m in the state of discomposure, & if you still reconsider ambivalence in this certain kind of change, the one that you would want to win is not being happy about this change, although the one that opposes better would- not having any choice but to be happy about this change.

9. Then after we had dinner/breakfast I was so moved by what my 2nd father (to me) Mark Dapiton shared that it even made my body frozen to the point that I can’t feel it any longer, hence the allergies. I wanted to thank him after that but I think he got busy with some stuff.

I gave my 100%… now it’s time to give my remaining 100,000,900% in this business. We’re dealing with life here anyway… would you rather waste your time in t.v.? 

10. It’s not that we were ignoring each other, it’s all about not having the chance to know each other. You were far away for me to reach, & the only thing I can do is to look on your eyes & hope that everything’s alright. We live in two opposing worlds, & although we have proven that love can defy gravity or can even move mountains, the fact that I can’t even get close to you hurts me the most.

11. Last season on Trigger:

1. We worked hard to create a suitable grade in our subjects, but unfortunately not everyone passed. Yuan McFallon (Allan Leyva) luckily passed with flying colors, sadly, the ones who helped him pass the exams did not.

2. The news about reshuffling the sections turned from true to false, & then the other way around. Hearing that news, the section had a celebration under Ms. Charmzl’s class.

3. The reshuffling of the sections is true.

4. Yuan joined a company where he focused on earning his money to help his family & relatives. Now focused on work, he became another Yuan.

5. A new semester will flourish.

(Blank)

“After everything was said & done, here we are again entering another drama that will change my life forever. Anything can happen in a single semester break, practically the heart that leads from this way yesterday to another today. Now, I am a couple of days away from my death bed, but in this moment I wanted to be known as another person they used to know. I’m Yuan McFallon- a new person.”

12. We do not need to suffer forever. We do not need to live in someone’s effort. We do not need to find something that can help you make a living. I’m laying the cards right here, right now. I’m giving this opportunity to everyone for everyone. All you got to do is simple… grasp it.

13. An interview with the cast of Meet The Newest Beatles which will hit the theaters on December 20, 2012 has been released & will air on the third of November. The group are currently working for their next concert in the Philippines next week as a means of promoting their movie tour.

14. E! Mag: Many critics were saying that it should’ve been Zac Efron getting the role of Andrew Tennessee, what do you have to say for that?

David: I believe that if something is destined for you, you would really get it in the future. I’m not saying that Mr. Efron do not deserve the role, but I guess it’s a decision the staff has got to make. We both are professional, Mr. Zac & I, & whoever was pick in that audition, it means we have to accept it whether or not you get the role. The critics are kind of letting us fight in a way when there’s really no reason for us to fight. We both have good talents, & I guess I just got lucky.

15. E! Mag: Can you say a quote that you can share to the readers connected to the movie?

Allan: I wanna share this line I think is one of the best from the script. It’s from Daniel Henney & it goes like this… “We close our eyes for a moment & we met each other in this some kind of weird fate when we opened them, then again while we hold hands & dream for this moment we ended up in the route of our dreams. Now we don’t have to close our eyes again because we already reached it now.”

16. E! Mag: Can you share a few lines that you think is your favorite?

Daniel H: (Thinks) Well, I want to share this line to all the dreamers out there. “When you let go of something, it means you’re grasping space… & that my friend, is bigger than anything else you could ever imagine. So let go & you’ll be receiving a lot more from it.” That’s the best line from the movie for now. Allan thought of that line.

17.Okay, so anything can happen in one semestrial break; I became business-minded, closer to my officamates/friends, & experienced every problems life gave me. I haven’t even enrolled yet because I’m so busy with work now, but I’ll try tomorrow. All that happened in one semestrial break, & now I’m still standing strong as ever. It’s a matter of faith, whether blind, you put into your belief, hoping for a light at the end of the tunnel. 

18. CREATIVITY NEVER SLEEPS!

19. Let’s just all ride with the worry waves & rehash the details about the law of attraction- Don’t negate. Never hate. Have Faith.

20. Having something or someone doesn’t mean your chance of living in this world is bigger, sometimes you just have to be alone for quite awhile to figure out that life only revolves on you, & not by the two of you.

21. You & Me… You END Me

22. A Hell of A Day, A Weekend of a Lifetime

23. SPOTLIGHT! SPARTANS! SHOUT!

It’s all coming back now- bring on the money! It was a weekend I’ll never forget… it was a weekend never to be forgotten, because in that weekend… this man just became a millionaire! Woohoo! The training was intense & the world stopped revolving for two days. We were all there, witnessing a turn-out from the lives we used to be living. Look at me now! Changed… for the better! 

24. BREAK OUT for another virus that’s gonna rule your campus next year. This is it! We have the muscles… we even have the money!

25. November 15, 2011- The fashion world constantly stopped revolving & running, all focused unto the most gossiped fashion show people were waiting for, their first ever C/B: The 2008 Collection Fashion Show that made such a huge success for the fashion fall this month.

26. October 6 is when I said goodbye to someone I really, really love. Although Goodbyes Are Fleeting Declines (one of my compositions), at least the way it ended was rather a relief for the both of us than stressing about the impossible relationship we should be dealing with. You made everything right… but I chose to be wrong.

27. .Now everything is where its supposed to be.

28. “A Phoenix is meant to die… but is able to rise again from the ashes, proving the impossible life unpredictably possible.” -Allan Leyva

29. The Clothing Concierto will be an event where singers will be models, basically the gentlemen/stars of Meet the Newest Beatles Daniel Radcliffe, David Archuleta, Allan Leyva, Jang Geun Suk, & Daniel Henney.  It’s a new way of making a fashion event very interesting.

30. SaluTALK!

31. I actually laughed when I wrote the word SLEEP in the panel “Not Urgent but Important” because it was the truth! Everytime I had the time to rest I always ended up doing something like blogging or watching the tv, but awhile ago, because I was sooo tired from my hospital duty, me & my bed actually spent some time together. At least I kinda had the rest I wanted to have for such a long time. I am quite happy that even though I missed a lot of things today… seriously a lot of things… at least my mind & body hibernated for awhile.

32. So why 15, 17, 18 & 20? Let’s just say these sets of number are the remaining days on things that I must put my focus on:

December 15- The deadline of the Puerto Galera experience. I won’t share any details but tell you what all my office-mates are surely gonna come! All expenses paid baby!

December 17- Deadline of Chapter 1 of our NRes subject. Bummer T_T

December 18- My mom’s birthday! I really am gonna buy something nice for her. It’s my turn now to give something back.

December 20- My friend’s Eric de los Santos’ birthday. One of the closest friends I got. We already went through thick & thin together so no one’s gonna tear our friendship apart.

33. Meet the Newest Beatles stars Daniel Radcliffe, David Archuleta, Allan Leyva & Jang Geun-suk have already released their movie album “Listen to the Newest Beatles” on December 1, 2012. It featured all the songs performed in the movie especially the song “Don’t Revolve” that topped #1 on the Billboard chart for two consecutive weeks.

34. There are days where you can just forget everything & start anew. Life’s been pressing you so hard to your limit & you just have to get way for a moment… to be better in the end.

Unfortunately… I’m not that type of person now. 

35. Happiness is cliche & general but, you know, it doesn’t even matter now, I’m happy about everything. :_)

36. The Allan 3.0 just got started, & is now wiser & happier than ever. This year I really did experience the things that I didn’t experience in my eighteen years of existence.

37. This year I gave blogging my life- it served as my life’s story & as the name of my blog calls it, it became my public journal & my sole sanctuary away from everything.

38. God must’ve gave me the benefit of the doubt, because at the end of the day I’m Allan.

39. God has given me a brain so I’d better use it now.

40. Thursday wasn’t about anything but this movie. Even some countries pronounced that the crime rate for today was zero. Despite some unsavory reviews, the movie actually stayed on top in the box office with a shocking & stunning opening of $943 million! This is the first time where a movie opening earned this large sum of money. Critics are now pronouncing that this is the movie of the millennium.

41. ss to my family. Instead of bringing us serenity & amusement, somehow it always shifts towards the bad part. There were days when people argue about almost everything, but I wasn’t expecting it today. I wasn’t expecting that when I wake up this evening, a wraith of some sort would ruin the atmosphere. I wasn’t expecting that trifles that really are superfluous would change a euphoric evening into a thwarted mess. I wasn’t expecting he’d called… but my Dad did.

42. “I love you. Ingat kayo dyan.” he fired up.

I can’t say it. “Okay, bye.” That’s the best thing I could say to him. He still blurted out some words & he said it again & again. He supposedly waited for me to say it. Afraid of what my mother would react, I just whispered it to him with impeccable speed, & then we ended it.

43. What’s best about Stephanie Meyer’s books is the affirmation that people do have the ability to read. Seriously! People are so caught up with the Twilight Saga that they start buying or borrowing the books. Even those who are not a fan of reading started doing it, all because of the Twilight miracle.

44. I’m in the brink of my inexorable exasperation. I’m taking a break.

45. The endless torture was frustrating, but I must avert the feeling through a melancholy merriment. The wave of emotions continued to a false frenzy- addicting but a mistaken crevice

46. “The shooting for X (Megaman) was intense. It’s far different from all the films I got into. Even my holidays are devoted to this movie but, as far as I’m concerned, I wanted this concert to happen. I owe all my supporters a lot, & I’m willing to push my schedule just so I could do this.” Allan Leyva said in a statement.

47. In the end, we move on. Although pain is never absent, we must flout it to focus on what remains in our lives. 

48. Let’s have a wonderful year, shall we? 

49. It’s been days since I got into typing again. I am so occupied with school works &, of course, my business. Although it’s kinda tiring juggling two things in the same moment, it’s still fun, exciting, & challenging for me because it’s all very, very worth it almost everyday.

50. It’s officially 2009 in my little corner of my universe, & this year, all my dreams are coming true… at last… at the age of nineteen years old. 

51. “What if you wake up, different from once you were in your memories… wake up with a titanium torso… wake up with a metal heart… wake up to hate… wake up to fight… wake up to be a monster… wake up to find yourself… a cyborg.”

52. As the waves of change start to bring an episode of tsunamis, I myself am willing to be carried away for a personality overhaul.

53. Inside my comfort zone, there’s a world out there- A world with endless possibilities that will be different from what I used to see. Inside my comfort zone, there’s a part of me who’s wanting to be that kind of Allan; an Allan that will have time for everything, & eventually will buy time itself. An Allan that will cut the bridge of his past & focus on the newer one. An Allan that will never fail to bring out the best out of himself & to everybody. An Allan that will rely on God, himself & some people. An Allan that will take care of what & who he has. An Allan that will set aside complacency & will do whatever it takes. An Allan who changed for the best…

54. When does a star shines its brightest?

55. Almost half of the people I love did not support me, did not believe me, nor did not stay put to save me. I did it on my own… the strength that I created alone fluttered its way up to my expected standards.


56. I began as my own strength. I am my own life. I started as a silent dreamer. I began as a protruding learner. Look what it got me so far.

57. rom a dirty old crap in the seas of junk into a rare self-made garnet of the orient, I overhauled myself from scratch… from nothing- the word which I replied, I experienced, & I have started to build something that is now enormously impossible to reach.

58. In the midst of every success in anyone’s life, there were discouragements that comprise what we’ve done. We learned, finally… & still are.

59. In 365 days you experienced life, but sometimes, there’s only a day where you experienced sole success

60. It’s more than considering ‘kryptonite’ or ‘radioactive spiders’, it’s bigger than all the mountains of the world put together, it’s stronger than gold, it’s precious than dowries, it’s better than material things. It’s the only thing that keeps me intact…

Faith

61. January 15, 2013- It’s confirmed! Actor Zac Efron & Robert Pattinson will be joining the boat! The two will co-star on the movie Meet the Newest Beatles Encore, the sequel of the famous MTNB which crazed its way up to the movie hot list & raved up to be the ‘movie star’ of 2009’s 85th Academy Awards that will be on the 17th of February at the Kodak Theater together with the gentlemen of four Daniel Radcliffe, David Archuleta, Allan Leyva & Jang Geun-suk.

62. As soon as the clock hit twelve o’clock, the vague appearance of my happiness started to disembark for the mourning period to come & fill its course into an end of something precious… life.

63. That’s why I didn’t exactly got happy today in my birthday, because if I did had a wonderful time today, I could hurt someone in the process. Why celebrate when they are mourning?

64. The aftermath- a wheedling enormity that comprises my uncertain mixed emotions about how the critics give their fair share to my bauble-like mind. It’s actually a low duress sin that should’ve been ignored at the time I started to do the business

65. I was bruised & took a long way to success so I’m never gonna give up now, now that everything has finally rested into place, now that I’m building my business as a strong empire not only for my dreams but for my downlines’ too.

66. I never will intend to insult your thought, but as my defense, is the one who really did change was you?

67. Although now, my life is in flux with happiness, but I was hoping that this disorder will not give me enough reasons to think there was something wrong with me.

68. oth parties take some time & I just have to narrow it down into one. It’s sort of a vacation from where I work, & I guess my business is still gonna grow even when I’m not around.

69. I was always the one who have to undergo the bruises & the stabs before something turns out. Although there’s this guilty feeling that I should’ve been acting good in times of losing something important in our lives, I’m just emotionally hurt that there are ones who can’t control themselves & point my finger at me even though I never had any history in stealing.

70. Although I’m certain about me having good qualities, I also have these sets of… you can say ‘talents’ that I am not quite good at. One of these was defense.

71. I could comfort you in times like this but you chose to let me be the suspect, & for that, I already have the intuition that I have failed you, not the other way around.

Chew on that.

72. My dream of being a doctor was just a thing of the past for me.
 
Then yesterday, something changed me…
 
73. Life really got so much better with my business!

74. Amidst the merriment we experienced this Sunday, tribulation is still there waiting around the corner. I actually had a mismanagement with a downline, I don’t know why, but it seems people don’t like me nowadays. It’s not like I’m doing something not connected with business, so forgive me for not always being there. Like you, I also have to focus on some of my downlines… that’s why I made you a leader, remember? No aversion please.

75. It could’ve been a coincidence, but today, February 4, 2009, could’ve been our sixth month anniversary.

76. I should be able to get on with my positive side than to drown myself with pessimism. I’m still in the verge of the multiple mayhems syndrome but these too shall pass… these too shall pass.
 
77. The director of the movie MTNB, Robert Zemeckis, said he couldn’t been so much prouder. They won the awards for the nominations of Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor for Daniel Radcliffe in a Leading Role (Allan Leyva as one of the nominated), Best Actor in a Supporting Role for Daniel Henney, Best Cinematography, Best Sound Mixing, Best Original Song (for Don’t Revolve, Change Passenger & Keep- Leyva’s original compositions), Best Costume Design, & Best Foreign Language Film. It was nine oscars from thirteen nominations. No questions asked- MTNB starred the Academy Awards.

78. Allan Leyva never was devastated at all, not winning the Oscars for Best Actor unlike last year, because of the fact that his movie companion Radcliffe got it. “It’s like trying but winning at the same time- trying because you get to compete with the biggest stars in the whole wide world & even though Dan won the award, I felt like winning it too. I mean, we’re always together on the set every single day & one of us getting it means a lot on us. Besides, I’m more happier on the fact that we won nine awards, & that my compositions proved to be a lot greater than what I had expected.” Allan also blew the audiences’ breath when he performed Battlefield of Love at the end of the show where he also cried tears of joy because of what they won.

79. We can do this- there’s no ‘I’ in ‘team’ right?

80. All it takes for me to realize that I’m taking a misguided path is a conversation with a friend of mine… & five months.

81.  Actually, it’s not really a misguided path, it’s more like an over-my-limit path; I’m always on top of my game when it comes to business (you can say I’m an over-achiever) rather than being nonchalant on the bucks side after harvesting all the seeds that I planted. I’m just worried that I already became a leader on this business & I’m the one who had to leave temporarily. I’m coming back again anyway because this business will remain forever.

82. February 26, 2013- C/B for Him released another clothing line that’s been hanging in the fashion racks for a long time now. C/B for him spokesperson Allan Leyva is happy to introduced Steen! as part of the ERA collection & will be featured on The 2013 Clothing Concierto that will be happening on April this year.

“We’ve been having so many practices for it (Clothing Concierto). Dan, Dave, Geun, Ron & I will perform on the Kodak Theater while endorsing the line.” said by the Platinum King himself.

83. Steen is short for Stylish Teen, which is more like the sunny side of the ERA collection, since the first line of it was on more on the dark & professional type. “It will represent as the modern teen fashion  of the kids today.” Sophia Bush, one of the owners of the C/B, said in a statement.

84. Everything is set on a fast pace, & I’m afraid that I’m not keeping up with the speed.
 
85. While some of them say “we’ll try,” & some of them “we’ll do our best,” I on the other hand am doing whatever it takes. 

86. Being a good follower sure makes a person be a good leader… I think.

87. We started the year right, so it’s better to start this month with a fresh outlook in life.
 
88. Many things happened & definitely changed for the past two months. I still have to stay on track no matter how much I wanted to leave for something I think is better. It’s not that healthy though, but I still want to continue.


89. Music, & madness? I already have an intuition that everything will get worst this month, that’s why I’m laying out all my plans now. If I have to go under a lot of pressure, I need some direction to help me go through the wave. 

90. It’s gonna be hard for me & I still have to keep up with the pace. I can’t afford to be nonchalant now since every little bit of the worry seeds that I ignored for months are now growing bigger, & its kinda blooming more tribulation than ever. That’s why I’m harvesting it now, before it will be too late.
 
Woah! That really took a lot of time. But anyway, I just want to thank all the people who were behind me from the start until this very moment. The readers & my supporters who never failed to give me some time to say something. God bless & take care everyone! Thank you once again. :)


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¨°º¤ø„ ALLAN LEYVA ¸ „ø¤º°
¸„ø¤º°¨ Signing off  “°º¤ø„¸
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March Madness!

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We started the year right, so it's better to start this month with a fresh outlook in life.
 
Many things happened & definitely changed for the past two months. I still have to stay on track no matter how much I wanted to leave for something I think is better. It's not that healthy though, but I still want to continue.
 
March! Actually, it's the month when I first wrote my composition. I remember it so well because it's before the end of our school year.
 
Music, & madness? I already have an intuition that everything will get worst this month, that's why I'm laying out all my plans now. If I have to go under a lot of pressure, I need some direction to help me go through the wave. It's gonna be hard for me & I still have to keep up with the pace. I can't afford to be nonchalant now since every little bit of the worry seeds that I ignored for months are now growing bigger, & its kinda blooming more tribulation than ever. That's why I'm harvesting it now, before it will be too late.
 
Anyways, I'm starting right now... Wish us luck guys! God bless & Merry March to everyone of us! :)
 
Signing off, A